To get silently annoyed when parents chase their kids with food?

[SweetCamomile2020]

I went to a friends small birthday party last week and there was a buffet.

There were about 5 kids there, aged from 2 to 5. I noticed as the kids were playing one of the Dads was trying to get his kids to eat. Maybe they had tried to sit them down to eat and the kids didn't want to, I'm not sure but one of the Dads was following his children around with bits of pasta on a fork practically pleading "come on Joey, eat this, it's delicious" and "Amelia, try this, try this"

He seemed quite desperate but I didn't know him, his children or his situation and thought perhaps the kids had been unwell and off their food so that's why he was so concerned.

A few days later my daughter brought her 3 year old son to mine for dinner. He ate quite a bit then said he didn't want any more and got down to play with his brother - his Dad started chasing him round with food, popping bits of dinner into his mouth whilst he was playing.

Since then I keep noticing that wherever I am parents are just so stressed about their kids eating even if the kid isn't underweight and looks healthy.

They can't think their children are going to starve, perhaps they are worried that when they get home the kids are going to say they're hungry and then they will feel they have to make another meal.

My kids are all grown up and I can't remember doing this. Perhaps I did.

It's not something that affects my life so doesn't bother me too much. I would never interfere as not my business but there's a little voice in my head that wants to scream out loud "Leave them alone, they don't want the food!"

Some parents have to do this to maintain the healthy appearance that you say the children have.

@Worktillate fair, i have family and their dc with type 1 and they are always checking and eating sometimes it looks relentless, i get it nobody knows what is going on but there is parents who do not want to upset their little children, or are paniking so much about food that they are chasing them with food, i mean it is a choking hazard at worse.

Bribery is slightly different to chasing kids round with a sandwich or forks.
Just thinking of the mess as bits fall off and the choking hazard as kids run away.

So for my eldest he would get very dysregulated if hungry (sen) so if it was running past lunchtime I'd be expecting a public meltdown as a toddler if he didn't sit to eat something at least.

I also prefer them to at their meal to avoid looking for biscuits etc later.

On the whole though as long as they sit and eat something at a mealtime and haven't been unwell I'm not following anyone around popping chips in their mouths. They are 7 and 4 now though and unlikely to starve.

We never give any form of attention over food did it with first big mistake it became a game and she knew how much attention she got from it my other 3 kids we don't piss about no choices one meal every one sits at the table together you eat it or you don't but nobody is leaving the table until everyone has finished. Food isn't a discussion no begging no bribing no different meals, no getting out your seat and running around I now have good eaters

Yep as a mum I can't stand it, all our kids from teens to toddlers have always sat at the table at meal times and know not to get up. We recently were at wether spoons with family with our 4 under 5 and ours sat, waited patiently and had a giggle with various family then ate there food while around us another 2 families with only 1 toddler were doing this exact thing, kid running between tables while parents took turns chasing to feed forkfuls of food. I was brought up meal times are for sitting down and eating and chatting not running about etc and so ours are brought up the same

I used to have to follow one of my DC around handing him cubes of cheese when he was a toddler or else he lost weight (he's autistic).

No one on here can say why the party dad was following his kids around with food but I'm sure he wouldn't have been doing it if he didn't feel he needed to. I don't think anyone actually wants to end up at that point as a parent.

My son would quite happily just not eat though. I probably overthink it but it does worry me and probably makes me act in a crazy manner

It's not always straightforward. My eldest has a great appetite, no issues at all. My youngest has a genetic condition and will often refuse her meal. Also as a baby she needed high-cal milk due to a heart issue.
So I often have to coax her to eat otherwise we're in a situation where the oldest is waiting for her pudding and I don't want to exclude the youngest. But the youngest would quite happily just fill up on snacks.

I know I should be neutral, but the reality is that meal times will go on for up to 2 hours if I don't give her some encouragement.

Do you think the anxiety of not eating drives it ? As i said one of mine was fussy looking back it was maybe Afrid so there was a lot of refusal and dry (so dry) food eaten i just gave it at meal/snack times though so she was in a routine rather than offering food adhoc.

To be fair I have never chased them with a loaded fork but if when they come back to the table I will shovel food into their mouth (if they are under 4 years).

I have chased in the past, but put a stop to that when I realised my kids were taking the piss. However I do try and insist they finish what's on their plate....we don't encourage wasting food, so we don't put them huge portions, but yes, we do insist they finish.