Kids party

[WorriedAboutRae]

Yesterday DS (7) had a birthday party. It was a really cute wooden craft one where the kids get a simple woodwork project each, which they build and then decorate, and get to keep. They only got one project each which the staff explained at the beginning (any more need to be paid for).

DS invited a new friend (let’s call him Dave) who I hadn’t met before and he came across as pretty rude. Later on, Dave asked if he could do a robot as well as the car he’d started. I explained that no, everyone does just one thing, just finish the one you’ve chosen. He then waited until I was distracted, went and helped himself to another kit, and started working on it before any adults noticed. Dave was really rude when another parent went to speak to him about it.

I’m picking up the finished pieces from the workshop this week. AIBU to not give Dave the robot when I hand them out? My family said I should absolutely not let him have both, but my friend said that I may as well let him, since I have had to pay for it anyway. If he had been polite and it was a genuine mistake then I wouldn’t have minded so much.

AIBU to only give the original kit out?

I wouldn't give it to him out of spite, but I'm very aware that that sort of behaviour is a huge trigger for me so maybe others would be more gracious.

Don't give it to him. Dave sounds like an arse.

No I wouldn’t give it to him. You essentially have had to pay for something he stole.

If he/parents queries where it is, just say he can have it if they pay the extra.

Keep it to one side, if Dave or his parents inquire about it you can say that they can have it but they will need to cover the cost. Don't know if you feel comfortable saying that though!
I'm not sure what I would do... maybe just give the first one (as then all the children get the one they did), rather than 2 which is what Dave will get.

Yanbu.

Were Dave's parents there? I would mortified if my child did that and insist on paying for it. Child would also be told how unacceptable that behaviour is

Reminds me of when I took DS and group of friends age 5 to McDonald's after trampolining for birthday treat. We were on a tight budget and I'd planned for happy meals and mcflurries. One child insisted happy meals were for babies (they were 5!) and he wanted an adult meal. He cried when I said no we're having happy meals today and his mum was pissed off at me and said 'well you could have just got him it' . But then I'd have to get that for all the boys and it would have more than doubled the cost!

Not the point but I’m laughing at calling a 7 yr old called Dave! Anyway Dave’s probably forgotten about it or won’t care if he gets the robot or not. Don’t give it and if there’s there’s any comeback cross that bridge when you come to it.

Cheeky sod. As PP said it’s essentially stolen and you’ve had to pay for it. If his parents are brazen enough to ask just tell them you not handling stolen goods 😂

(frankly I wouldn’t even pick it up, yes pay for it but would leave it there and ask the shop if they would kindly dispose of it for you)

Absolutely not. It’s rewarding bad behaviour. CF junior!! His reaction to being told off by another parent tells me all I need to know about Dave’s behaviour in general.

I wouldn't want to reward his behaviour but also probably wouldn't want a fight over £7 or whatever. Think I'd not hand it over unless asked and then make a bit of a fuss about it (oh, I couldn't work out why I had an extra one as every child was only given one project, let me see how much it is to pick it up... delay delay) Definitely no further invites though!

I'd give it out. You've already paid for it. Its not worth the conflict over. Just don't invite Dave to similar things in future.

If you’ve had to pay for it keep it and give it your own child.

I think I'd not hand it over, why should he get two and his friends (and birthday boy) only get one? Unless it's turned out really rubbish then I'd hand it over as something the parents would have to find space for!

This is something my son could easily have done and I would have been mortified.

No nothing to do with how I'm bringing him up thanks so everyone cab get off their high horses.

You should have told Dave's parents at the time, in fact you still could and they will probably offer to pay.

His behaviour isn't all that bad he probably just thought he had an opportunity to not get caught or forgot you said no. He is 7 after all.

Not inviting him ever again is harsh. At the end of the day you have to let him decide who he is friends with

I wouldn’t give it to him. It would go straight in the bin. We don’t reward sneaky behaviour and stealing.

As others have said, I wouldn’t want to reward bad behaviour, which this definitely was. I wouldn’t give it to him, and if challenged by him or his parents (surely not!) I would say there were 6 boys at the party and you collected 6 products, so here’s yours and that’s that.

Dave definitely knew what he was doing, definitely didn’t forget, and definitely didn’t care. He sneered at me when I talked to him about it, and this is what I have been stewing on overnight 😂 I might not have minded so much if he had been apologetic and well behaved.

Thanks everyone, I don’t feel bad about it now, I definitely shouldn’t reward the bad behaviour.

Don't give it to him. If you do you will just be reinforcing his idea that he can do and have whatever he likes when he likes.

It's not your job to teach him not to steal and good manners, that's for his parents to do, but it will be kind for at least someone to care enough to bother.

For goodness sake if you've been stewing over the actions of a 7 year old little boy then that says a fair bit. Yes he did wrong, ok don't give him the robot but stewing over it waisting your own time and energy.

I would definitely say to the parents. Here’s Dave craft. He was told he could only do one but he done two anyway: if he wants the other one it will £x. Thanks

Alright chill out 😂

100% this.
His parents should know what a little shit he is

I wouldn’t give it to it to him - he sounds like a brat!

Perfect- "Sorry we only budgeted for one project per child. If he would like it then I'll send you the details to pick it up."

Who collected Dave from the party? I am on your side here but also he’s 7 and I’m assuming you would of had to pay for the extra kit, I would of just explained to the parent at the door and see if they’d put the extra £10 that it cost me for Dave’s sneaky behaviour.