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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids party

34 replies

WorriedAboutRae · 27/01/2026 09:11

Yesterday DS (7) had a birthday party. It was a really cute wooden craft one where the kids get a simple woodwork project each, which they build and then decorate, and get to keep. They only got one project each which the staff explained at the beginning (any more need to be paid for).

DS invited a new friend (let’s call him Dave) who I hadn’t met before and he came across as pretty rude. Later on, Dave asked if he could do a robot as well as the car he’d started. I explained that no, everyone does just one thing, just finish the one you’ve chosen. He then waited until I was distracted, went and helped himself to another kit, and started working on it before any adults noticed. Dave was really rude when another parent went to speak to him about it.

I’m picking up the finished pieces from the workshop this week. AIBU to not give Dave the robot when I hand them out? My family said I should absolutely not let him have both, but my friend said that I may as well let him, since I have had to pay for it anyway. If he had been polite and it was a genuine mistake then I wouldn’t have minded so much.

AIBU to only give the original kit out?

OP posts:
CheeseItOn · 27/01/2026 12:30

I'd message the parents and say there is a charge of £X for the extra robot kit Dave did and do they want to pay you for it so he can have it?

Coconutter24 · 27/01/2026 12:32

started working on it before any adults noticed

were his parents not there?

needtoforget · 27/01/2026 12:33

TartanMammy · 27/01/2026 09:30

Yanbu.

Were Dave's parents there? I would mortified if my child did that and insist on paying for it. Child would also be told how unacceptable that behaviour is

Reminds me of when I took DS and group of friends age 5 to McDonald's after trampolining for birthday treat. We were on a tight budget and I'd planned for happy meals and mcflurries. One child insisted happy meals were for babies (they were 5!) and he wanted an adult meal. He cried when I said no we're having happy meals today and his mum was pissed off at me and said 'well you could have just got him it' . But then I'd have to get that for all the boys and it would have more than doubled the cost!

🤣 I had to laugh when reading this…it can’t be real the mum said you could have just got him that.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 27/01/2026 12:33

I would say when the parents have paid you back for it then he can have it

BumpedIntoBenAffleck · 27/01/2026 12:33

CheeseItOn · 27/01/2026 12:30

I'd message the parents and say there is a charge of £X for the extra robot kit Dave did and do they want to pay you for it so he can have it?

This ^

Isekaied · 27/01/2026 12:36

Don't give it to him.

And if anyone asks either ask for the cash if not confident enough say they disposed of it because you wouldn't pay the extra.

FeelingALittleConcerned1 · 27/01/2026 13:09

Dave's a little dickhead do not give it to him.

WorriedAboutRae · 29/01/2026 08:44

Coconutter24 · 27/01/2026 12:32

started working on it before any adults noticed

were his parents not there?

No, only about half of the parents stayed which was fine for the adult:child ratio required by the workshop, but I probably should have requested that they all did with hindsight!

I also know I should’ve said something to dad on pickup but the damage was already done, I didn’t know him or how he’d react, so I kept quiet because I’m a wimp!

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/01/2026 08:49

I think if a child does something like this is may be a troubled upbringing so it may not land with the parents the way it would with you. I can see why you don’t say anything to dad in the moment you don’t want a lovely party to be tainted with being told off. I think you can keep your boundary and pay the place but don’t give the robot to him.

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