To have not told my mum about a job interview beforehand

53 replies

greensweatshirt · 26/01/2026 16:32

I'm 26 and I had a job interview today. I live in my own house but I've come to my mum's house for dinner tonight. I took the day off work for the interview and told her about the interview when I arrived at her house. She's said she's very hurt that I didn't tell her beforehand and got visibly upset. She said no matter what I say, it will hurt. AIBU to have not told her before the interview?

OP posts:

Incalescent · 27/01/2026 19:54

greensweatshirt · 26/01/2026 18:10

I don't think I could say this to her. The way she was behaving, part of me wanted to apologise to her, even though I didn't think I'd done anything wrong. I managed not to say sorry but I didn't say anything really. It was at the beginning of our evening having dinner together so I didn't want to antagonise things further

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You’re 26, OP! Cut the apron strings. I’m very fond of my mother, but I don’t tell her anything important till later, as she’s an incredible catastrophiser.

ChaToilLeam · 27/01/2026 19:56

My mother does this too. DSis and I keep her on an information diet, otherwise she would message us several times every dayasking for updates. I didn't tell her about my promotion until it was absolutely in the bag and a done deal. She thinks we're secretive - no, just don't want to be pestered!

RisingSunn · 27/01/2026 20:09

SargeMarge · 26/01/2026 18:29

I think I mate feel more strongly about this than most people so I apologise if tak post came across as lecturing.

I have parents like this. There was a point when they actually hired a private investigator to follow me around for a few weeks. I had no idea obviously but they sat me down and lectured me for not telling them I was dating someone (I was 22 and didn’t live at home). I wondered how they knew I’d been on 3 days with some random guy, and they admitted to having an investigator follow me because I had stopped telling them everything about my life when I moved out and they were very concerned something was wrong etc.

My parents are deeply insane. It clouds my answers when other people talk about their parents doing anything close to this weird controlling behaviour!

I actually have a good relationship with my DM but this has come with years of ‘training her’.

She would want to know what I was discussing with my friends.

She would get jealous if I was over at another family’s house. It was insane.

At one point she even said every decision should be passed by mothers first 😵‍💫….I was in my 30s..

So I completely get why you are triggered by this post.

Some people won’t get it…lucky them! 😅

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