Feel like I've been grey rocked

[SaveMeNow2024]

So tonight I won an award. Not massively prestigious but it felt like a big deal to me. It was about effort and improvement, rather than achievement.
Nor one person in the room acknowledged it (about 80 people there, and i know most of them quite well).
Even the people on my table didn't say anything when I came back from the stage.
I said well done to the people who presented, which I think is just normal etiquette.
My family were not massively interested either, even though I came home with prizes and a trophy.
I tracked my progress for a year and thought I had 2nd or 3rd place so was so elated to come first. I don't usually win anything so it was quite special for me.
Am I unreasonable to feel very deflated?
There were other awards during the evening but this was the major one.

How did the people around you (eg on your table) react to other award winners? If similarly selfishly it’s probably just self involvement or jealousy

They’re just jealous. Fuck ‘em! Oh and congratulations 🥳

If it’s an award for running, which is typically something you do in your spare time, has there been impacts to other members of your household that would made them resent the time you’ve taken to gain the award? Meaning the wining feels like they’ve sacrificed too much for you to win?

Is it possible you’ve become a running bore, even to people with the same hobby, is there resentment from other members that you have more time/money than the average person to dedicate to the goals you need to win?

It’s also possible every person in your life is jealous, but unlikely.

I thought OP meant organising events, but I could be wrong.

Honestly, women aren’t celebrated for their achievements or birthdays or anything that’s meaningful to them and don’t include their husbands, partners, kids, etc… Unless they are part of the success and can “own” it too, they don’t give a rat’s arse. Yet another example of women not existing as separate entities instead of something to facilitate everyone else.

There are some very dysfunctional people in running clubs ! I speak from experience (of being in one and having a parent who is on the committee, she is bonkers).

if you aren’t a fast runner then they will be less interested. They definitely won’t be jealous! some if the older ones will find it odd that prizes are given out that aren’t fir winning a race.

Odd for the people at the table not to say well done as you came back but not odd for others not to specifically come up to you after I don’t think.

family is odd but I doubt it’s jealousy , it’s lack of interest.

No she’s a runner who has been recognised for getting better I think.

Oh. I thought she was an event planner, either way, mean not to say well done

Well done! Event management is SO tough. Some people act very strangely about the success of others. I've experienced it too. Mostly at school, though, many years ago.

Oh I just saw someone say it was for physically running. It's all unclear to me. Well done either way!

Ok- my perspective as a veteran runner of several decades (if you are indeed talking about organising events then completely ignore this).

Runners tend to be very absorbed in their own achievements and seem to almost choke on recognising other people's. The running community presents itself as inclusive and friendly while not really being either (Parkrun rivalries burn hotter than the sun). I think some of the genuinely good runners get sick of the "everyone is equally amazing - a 7 hour marathon is still a marathon" stuff, while more "average" runners get sick of a 25 min Parkrun being dismissed. Runners are intensely competitive with others whilst all pretending to be completely focused on their own times and and use mental gymnastics to argue why their marathon time means they are a better runner than someone else who runs fast 5ks.

The only way to enjoy running is either to just not care about this stuff and become a social trail runner (trail runners are socially even more awkward than road runners but tend to be much more chilled about times because races aren't side by side comparable) or only require your own validation (hard).

Btw- I am guilty of a lot of the above, because I am a runner, so part of the problem. But at least I do admit that I care intensely about where I come in the VW50-55 category at my local PR :-)

Very odd behaviour from everyone at the event. Maybe a combo of jealousy and shock (if even you thought you weren't going to win maybe they thought Sally Smith would win and were surprised when she didnt). But still odd. Your family slightly less odd (though still not ok) because probably they thought you'd had a whole event with lots of people celebrating your achievement, and were more focused on their own things. But yeah shitty behaviour all round. I'd buy myself something nice to celebrate and if asked say given no one else was proud of me or congratulated me I thought I would congratulate myself and get myself a gift. Bit passive aggressive but would probably say it with a bit of a sarcastic smile so it's clear I'm just a bit annoyed not really angry. Alternatively buy yourself a gift/sort yourself a nice experience and hold your head high, saying nothing to no one. Depends on your personality i guess.

Congratulations!
People are just weird and in the main jealous.

Is it for running events? ie setting up and manning events, or for actual running with trainers on? Not very clear OP.

Echo what "theposhuns" says...need to know the answer!!

That may be true in some circumstances, it certainly isn't true for me. My husband is my biggest cheerleader. And it doesn't explain why the OP's female colleagues and family members didn't seem more enthusiastic about her achievement, either. Not everything is about women's oppression, whatever this site would have you believe.

My god, are you serious!? This is why I never would take up running seriously, I have heard this before. That's crazy. It's not as if any of these Parkrunners are professionals, so why get so competitive!?

I don't know if that's universally true. Maybe there's a bit of projection from that poster because they admit that they're competitive themselves or they are naturally drawn to people who are like them.

I'm a runner, a slow one, and I'd say I've only ever experienced support.

I wonder in the case of the op, she's found herself at a table of competitive people who don't think she deserves her award because she's improved personally but isn't coming in first. That's pure speculation though!

Congratulations - my DH always made a fuss when I came home, in my 50s, with my sporting trophies.
We emptied the display cabinet when the lounge was redecorated and he insisted they go back in even though I’m not that bothered 🤣
Does your family win trophies all the time? My friend’s family is like yours but they are a very sporty family and win something regularly!

It is really awful behaviour. It’s not grey rocking though, I think you misunderstand the meaning

You seem to be surrounded by people who are self absorbed and rude.

Yep completely agree. I remember years ago when I was a member going to a training night and you had to split into groups, I went to the men who were nearest to me and they wouldn’t have me in their group, they were panicked I’d slow them down.

the fell runners don’t like the road runners and vice versa, one club doesn’t like the other, the committee are at all war, the old ones can’t understand all this praise for slow and fat people . And it goes on….

Congratulations and stuff the rest of them x

So much confusion (for me!) in one little thread!! 😆 Running events or running events???! And why say grey rocked??? This isn’t grey rocking is it??

If the award was given in a professional capacity, I think the fellow guests and your family are rude. If it was given for non-work running, well I’m surprised anyone would even go to an awards ceremony for that (unless you’re a professional athlete).

While I can’t comment much on running clubs, that can be interesting organisations to put it charitably, I have ample experience of being the partner of someone really into running.
People can lose sight of its impact on their family. It’s very solitary, takes up weekend and evening time, and if you’re particularly unlucky the running will be what your holidays revolve around, too- only going somewhere because there’s an event which eats into the day before ‘Don’t want to overdo it as I’m running tomorrow’, the day of the event itself which can come with logistical obligations, and at least a day afterwards because now their legs don’t work properly and they can’t do stairs.
I grew to hate my DH’s running hobby, and although he does still run for his health he’s thankfully toned it right down.