I dated a man for 6 months last year. The relationship ended because he was emotionally unavailable., but I ended things in the summer and explicitly asked for no further contact.
Despite this, he continued to message, call (including from different numbers), and left a gift at my home after I had clearly asked him not to. I reiterated my boundary several times and eventually warned him I would go to the police if it continued.
In October, I contacted the police. They spoke to him and gave him words of advice to stop contacting me. There was no contact for several months after that.
Last week, I returned home to find a box left by my car with a note addressed to a pet name he used for me. Inside were gifts, books (including religious/spiritual material), and copies of a book I had written, opened to specific passages about love and loss. The note said that having these items around stopped him from moving on because his feelings for me were growing stronger.
I did not consent to any contact, and finding this at my home after previous police involvement caused me distress.
I went back to the police. They told me that at this stage the options are either:
• make a formal statement, which would likely lead to arrest/interview and a CPS decision, or
• take no further action at this time
They also briefly mentioned the possibility of a civil route (e.g. non-molestation order), but said criminal was the main option they could pursue.
I’m struggling with the decision. My goal is for the contact to stop completely, with minimal escalation as in my head it’s lose lose, I’m always hyper vigilant. He knows where I work too. I don’t want revenge or punishment, but I also don’t want this to continue or worsen.
I’d really appreciate experiences and advice on what actually worked to make the behaviour stop, and what the real-world consequences were.