Teen boys expensive taste in clothes!

[SixSeven67]

Help!
my 13(nearly 14) year old son is in his ‘I’ll only wear expensive black tracksuit’ era and it’s bankrupting me!
I feel so guilty that he’s hardly got any clothes at my house, whereas at his dads, he’s got lots. I’m not working at the moment, on UC with 2 other DC at home. The other 2 are younger, therefore much easier to buy clothes for.
I was looking online for tracksuits for him and ONE montirex tracksuit is £90. NINETY POUNDS!
I got him one for Xmas but, after him saying he loved it and took the labels off, decided he didn’t like it after all! And anyway, he’s managed to leave that at his dads house.
I do use vinted, but even that isn’t as cheap as I’d like. I want to rig him out with about 3 nice tracksuits, but it’s going to cripple me financially.
any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

If he wants labels he can work and pay for his own. He sounds very entitled!

My mum was on benefits and a single parent so I worked. Got my first paper round at 12 to buy a flute and then started working in the shop at 14. I used to like using Lancome skincare. No way my mum would have been able to pay for that, nor would I expect her too. I bought all my own clothes too (well, not underwear or school uniforms). She used to buy Primark clothes because it was what she could afford, and back then Primark had horrible clothes, so I just worked to buy what I wanted.

He is old enough to bring his clothes back with him

Leave him to work it out for himself. Maybe show him where to buy them and get him to work out how long he will have to save for. Tell him how many meals, how much gas, electricity one would buy for the whole family

Get hi. To ask his dad for one for his birthday

It isn't a phase, it's a want and its a good lesson to learn

Don’t start me on the ‘dada clothes’. He isn’t allowed to bring them to my house. We have the DC 50/50. What his dad buys, stays at his house. Really pisses me off tbh.
well, I’ve ordered a couple of tracksuits off vinted.

Mine have expensive taste too! Firstly they ask for it for birthdays and xmas, and ask extended family for money towards it, part time job when old enough, use ebay and vinted and set alerts with their favourite brands for sales. They will also mix and match for example just getting the expensive hoody but with cheaper nike (from sports direct) joggers or wearing the short sleezed designer t-shirt over a primark basics plain long sleeve top, for example. TK maxx can be good especially for bags, belts and baseball caps, and H&M are good for jeans that they are happy to wear with a branded t-shirt for example.

Lastly they are allowed to freely move stuff between houses - no point having 2 lots of the same expensive stuff imo.

Appreciate what others are saying that you dont have to provide it but it is possible to find a happy medium, and fashion is important to their identity so i understand the dilemma

My DS of a similar age has similar tastes. Montirex and Trailberg are his favourite brands. I agree they’re expensive but you can get some absolute bargains on Vinted and as my DH pointed out if you sell other things on there buying things is effectively free. Utilising sales and things can reduce the prices a lot, blue light has 20% of Montirex too. I disagree when people say they don’t need nice tracksuits, it’s basically all my DS wears and having 3 of them he gets incredible wear from them.

Last night I showed him what I ordered. Hope he doesn’t tell his dad they’re off vinted, as he’s brought that up before. Knob!

‘I’m not working so the money I have is for food and basic clothes. I can’t afford to buy you the clothes you want so we’ll go to primark etc and you can choose some basics from there’s
Thats what I would say to him .
Or here’s your ? budget for clothes buy what you want or save it for something??
You can’t afford expensive clothes if you don’t have a job! Is he having a laugh?

My two ds 12 and 16 wouldn't expect me or even ask me to buy expensive clothes. They are just not brought up that way. You need to tell him about what you are using your limited income on @SixSeven67 because he sounds very entitled tbh.

I thought benefits only paid enough for food and basic things. Why would expensive Chavy tracksuits even be on your radar? If you want your son to have the things he wants and you feel like you’re failing him then you need to get a job. Work when the children are with their father?

He can’t have what he wants quite simply. He wants to try and find a part-time job or scour around on Vinted, let him go for it. But why would you entertain this little prince’s demands? Stop before you well and truly create a monster.

https://smartkidseducation.org/?fbclid=IwZnRzaAPi4wdleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEelrs_ucoL2jX5_SxOEHbaLScJRu-YAnxML_8olz9yIPfuV3iymJrxukeCyT0_aem_b6Bt6H6Uf7hxrfM8nK5Uyw

You need to take control back. What you can’t afford he can’t have. If my mum couldn’t afford it I couldn’t have it. I was grateful I had clothes to wear. He sounds spoilt rotten. My son like a nice tracksuit but I couldn’t possibly afford his taste for full wardrobe. He accepts that and knows he can have some of what he wants. He doesn’t refuse to wear the clothes he has.

This was the first thing o found when o googled how to teach your children about money. I’m sure there are lots of free resources online too . Even just googling it brings up a wealth of information.
Teach your son that his value is not in the clothes he wears but the person he is and how he treats others. It’s difficult when you can’t have what your friends have but it teaches you to be very careful with money and gives you a drive to succeed.

I don’t want to be a Debbie downer, but in a year or so he’ll be in men’s clothes, and that £90 tracksuit will cost £150. And you’ll buy him a new one, and two months later it’ll be halfway up his shins. It’s never ending.

Tell him that you can’t afford a designer wardrobe for him. If he wants to wear expensive gear, then he’ll have to wear it home from his Dad’s. If his dad refuses, he will know that his dad is being an arse.

Money aside, I wouldn’t give in based on his attitude. I have a child of a similar age and can afford to buy him the type of clothes he wants but he recognises how quickly he grows and chooses to buy things oversized so that he gets longevity out of them and it doesn’t feel wasteful. Your son needs to learn the value of money.

You are really not doing yourself any favours. Making him hide the fact that his clothes are from vinted? Giving in and buying him things you can't afford?

You need to change your ways. You are raising a brat.

My 14 yo is the same. But I get him everything from vinted. Not had a bad thing off there for him yet. Got 2 coats - Lyle and Scott and a Pull and Bear for a tenner each. He loves them

I have a friend with 2 teenaged lads. One of her boys likes branded stuff and expensive labels. When it comes to this she says we can look at things online and she tells him I will buy you runners up to X amount. He gets money at various times.
He now looks on vinted and has found the names of good Chinese websites that do copies of branded stuff he likes.

Now he buys and sells stuff on vinted. He ordered extra stuff off website's and sold them on making money doing this. He learning that he can't have everything he wants and his money goes further on vinted.

I would tell his father that he needs to be able to bring clothes home from his house also. Tell his father about the attitude he is developing over the expensive clothes and if it continues you have to look for more maintenance off him. My feeling is that his father is buying him expensive stuff and letting him demand this to be the cool dad. This is not doing your son any favours as it will get worse as he gets older.

After what he did to the clothes you bought him at Christmas I would be telling your
son that he can't have everything he wants. He could have kept the labels on what you got him and you could have sold these on vinted. The stuff he no longer wares could be sold on vinted as well and this cash could be used for other things.

He also needs to learn the value of money. Your not been mean with him telling him the word no and he needs to be told about the cost of food, bills ect and they come before his expensive clothing.

Once they have a job, it does make things easier in that they will have to work x hours to buy something. I had a similar conversation with one of mine - I asked them if they were expecting me to pay for it or were they going to buy it themselves. They realised how much work they’d need to do to a) buy that item and b) replace the money they’d earned. Oddly enough the item was not bought.

My DS is 12 and will only wear a grey Nike Tech tracksuit and a white Nike tee (autism adds to his extreme particularness, to be fair). He's now in men's XS which retails at £150! He has 2, both lightly worn from Vinted and coat around £50 each. He's angling for a 3rd, to tide him over the school hols. I've said I will gladly pay £50 again if he can find another preloved, but any more than that will have to be topped up from his savings/ pocket money.

I should have mentioned that he has ADHD/ADD so will get pretty frustrated and just refuse to wear something that isn’t ‘right’. Whether that me feel, colour or whatever

I feel your pain! But Vinted is definitely your friend, especially if he knows the exact style and size he needs

If he can leave clothes you brought him at his dad's house he can leave clothes his dad buys him at yours. If his dad can afford to get him clothes then you shouldn't bankrupt yourself trying to do the same. And clothes should be for him to wear not held at different houses.

I think what’s happened is he got a tracksuit was super pleased with it then sent pics to his mates or his Dad who said they didn’t like it and suddenly he didn’t like it.
Don’t fall in to this trap it will be £200 trainers next can you find someone who does the copies rather than paying out ridiculous amounts of money for a tracksuit that he will either ruin in a few weeks or grow out of same with the trainers.

I completely get your pain! Mine is 15 now and I’m a single parent too, no dad in the picture as he died 8 years ago so no help there. Tbf mine is pretty good at waiting for birthdays/xmas otherwise he’s happy for Vinted. Tbh he looks in there himself and will send me screenshots of what he’s found. He’s only got about 4 tracksuits which he wears in rotation with different T-shirts (2 Montirex, 2 monterrain). He’s 6’1 though so it’s £150 a tracksuit….summer is much better as it’s just shirts and T-shirt!
It’s hard when that’s what all their friends are wearing as you don’t want them to be the odd one out and get picked on. And yes they get taught to be kind and don’t listen to others blah di blah, but it doesn’t change the fact that their image is a BIG thing when they’re teens. Just do what you can mama and explain to him that sometimes he just has to wait until you can afford it or buy second hand.