To be pissed off with DP about park run 😤

[HildegardVonBingham]

DP and I are both women and both quite physically fit. I’ve done two half marathons with a good time and DP does long distance cycling. I said to DP that we could do park run together this week but I’d need to whizz home after as I’m off out of London to see a friend, and I wanted to run at a reasonable pace. TBH I like to run at a sedate pace because it’s only park run and I only like to really go for it if I’m running alone and listening to pop music. I made all this clear to DP (you may have gleaned I wasn’t wildly enthused about park run this AM.) At the start line she then starts all this nonsense about ‘a sub 30 minute park run’, to which I say ‘it’s only park run’. About 5 mins in my hip starts really hurting because I haven’t stretched, and I say as much. Two mins later proceeds to whizz off at lightening speed !!! I slope off to the cafe in a huff without finishing. She has just arrived and apologised profusely but I was incredibly arsey and told her she’s really PMO. Some of this is the lesbian disease of communicating every single feeling all the time but AIBU to be really annoyed? I was incredibly stroppy and now think I potentially over reacted!! DP broadly wonderful and very considerate but just very competitive about sport and exercise ….

That's it in a nutshell. Sou ds lime you are very competitive but that doesn't explain why you didn't warm up.

If i was running with somebody then got injured I’d tell them to go ahead. Not your fault but you didn’t keep your side of the bargain.

Ah I understand, so you only want to do a PR if it’s on your own terms, only want to switch up the plan of that PR midway if it’s on your terms, will only make up with your DP if she apologises, and will only accept AIBU responses if they agree with you. What hard work you are.

ETA: sub30 is pretty run of the mill.

Well, it was her fault. She said herself that it was because she didn't stretch 🤷🏻

Literally every single post 🤣 you sound like a nightmare

You had an injury, she wanted to run a reasonable time, personally don't see what the issue, if you managed to get back in time to go out, far bigger issues to fall out over...

Am I missing something? You're annoyed because she wanted to run faster than you did, and you stopped off because she wouldn't slow down to adjust to the pace you wanted to run at? If I've read that right, you are being incredibly unreasonable and borderline ridiculous.

Do you always run parkrun together? I'm failing to understand what was wrong with her going off at her own pace? I've done hundreds of parkruns, many with friends but many more solo. There are no laws that someone has to adjust their own pace up suit you when you're both adults who can simply wish each other a good run and meet again at the end.

I take each parkrun as it comes. Sometimes I feel like going for it but often I'm happy to just go with the flow. My plans often change partway through, depending on how I'm feeling. Sometimes I've run off ahead of a friend I started with, with their blessing. Other times I'm the one telling someone to run ahead and enjoy their run as I'm just not feeling it today and don't want to spoil their run. Even if you originally plan to run with someone else, plans can and do change depending on how each person is feeling throughout the run.

You have taken this way too personally. No true runner would ever stand in the way of another fellow runner pushing for a PB if they're feeling on it (especially if that other person is a close friend, partner or family member). Why should she have sacrificed her own run for you, just because you wanted to take it easier? If you're that joined at the hip that you're annoyed at her for running off ahead of you, you might need to evaluate a few things because that's quite suffocating and controlling behaviour.

You said it yourself, it's only parkrun. I absolutely love parkrun, but finish times are hugely irrelevant. That's not what it's about. You both got out in the fresh air for some exercise. That's all that matters. You really don't need to run together to enjoy it or get something out of it.

I personally think headphones shouldn't be allowed at parkrun anyway...

The inclusivity of parkrun means people are free to participate in whichever way they choose, providing they are being safe and are aware of other park users. It's perfectly possible to listen to headphones while running and be aware of other people around you. I've never not heard a marshal's instructions when listening to my headphones. In fact, I'm often the one shouting "keep left" to people who are on the wrong side of the path, oblivious of the faster runners who are trying to lap us despite not wearing headphones themselves. The irony.

If we ban headphones, we should ban buggies, dogs, children who skittishly cut in front of you and then stop dead in front of you, visually impaired runners with guides, wheelchairs, people who run in big groups etc (basically anything which could potentially be a hazard). Thank goodness this is not the case, and parkrun allows everyone to participate in their own way (which includes running ahead of a stroppy partner who isn't feeling it, if you're feeling on it yourself that day 😏😂 )

The really unreasonable ones here are those being snobby about how a sub 30 is not particularly fast, in their opinion.

It's all relative. What feels like an easy pace for one person is a fantastic achievement another, and a complete pipe dream for others. There's no need to belittle other people. The ethos of parkrun is that it is for everyone, not just the elite or 'average'. A parkrun is a parkrun, regardless of pace.

I thought this as well.