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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with DP about park run 😤

60 replies

HildegardVonBingham · 24/01/2026 09:41

DP and I are both women and both quite physically fit. I’ve done two half marathons with a good time and DP does long distance cycling. I said to DP that we could do park run together this week but I’d need to whizz home after as I’m off out of London to see a friend, and I wanted to run at a reasonable pace. TBH I like to run at a sedate pace because it’s only park run and I only like to really go for it if I’m running alone and listening to pop music. I made all this clear to DP (you may have gleaned I wasn’t wildly enthused about park run this AM.) At the start line she then starts all this nonsense about ‘a sub 30 minute park run’, to which I say ‘it’s only park run’. About 5 mins in my hip starts really hurting because I haven’t stretched, and I say as much. Two mins later proceeds to whizz off at lightening speed !!! I slope off to the cafe in a huff without finishing. She has just arrived and apologised profusely but I was incredibly arsey and told her she’s really PMO. Some of this is the lesbian disease of communicating every single feeling all the time but AIBU to be really annoyed? I was incredibly stroppy and now think I potentially over reacted!! DP broadly wonderful and very considerate but just very competitive about sport and exercise ….

OP posts:
PeopleTheyAintNoGood · 24/01/2026 10:07

Yabu. It's a non issue.
I do take exception to you saying it's 'only' parkrun, though. 😂. I'm very proud of myself for running it at any speed

user2848502016 · 24/01/2026 10:09

I think you were both unreasonable really, if you didn’t want to do it you should have just said, she was probably sick of your moaning! Also was a bit mean to expect her to drop out with you just because your hip hurt a bit.
On the other hand your DP shouldn’t have tried to push you to be competitive when you had said you were taking it easy

Tocsin · 24/01/2026 10:09

@HildegardVonBingham - in this instance, it’s you.

zingally · 24/01/2026 10:11

Honestly, this sounds like a lot of fuss about nothing.

Why are you even bothering with park run when you're not that fussed about it anyway?

Considering you had plans for today, I'd have just stayed home, got ready for that, and gone.

It's only a local park run - not the olympics. Calm down.

Bloodylovecheese · 24/01/2026 10:15

It was an hour, tops, out of your lives...
Life is too short. Forgive, forget and move on.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend

HorrorFan81 · 24/01/2026 10:16

Well she shouldn't have agreed to run together if she didn't really want to. But if you were struggling and she was feeling really good I don't think she did anything wrong by cracking on. Its just a 5k PR not a half marathon or something. You've been pretty dramatic I would say

CheeseWisely · 24/01/2026 10:17

I don’t really understand what happened? You wanted to run at a reasonable pace because you have plans after. Sub 30 minutes is a reasonable pace. Then you didn’t stretch so changed your mind about the reasonable pace, and you’re sulking because she cracked on with the original plan? Eh?

I often run Parkrun with DH or friends and it’s a total non-event if a plan to run together changes during, either because one person isn’t feeling it, or one person really is feeling it and wants to push on.

Not sure what being a lesbian has got to do with it at all. People of all sexual persuasions can unreasonably sulk.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/01/2026 10:18

I HATE running with others just because of these expectations. Do I go on ahead or peg my speed back? What if they think I'm running slowly because of them and worry about me? Now I only do Park Runs with my son - he's a lot faster and he waits for me at the end.

Mismatch of expectation, that's all, OP. Chalk it up to experience and have a big bun.

Swaytheboat · 24/01/2026 10:23

But 30 mins is a very sedate run if you are even reasonably fit? How slow did you want to go? Just go for a walk.

Dgll · 24/01/2026 10:25

I would have done what you DP did. DH would have told me to run on and meet him at the end anyway. We would then have got a coffee and I would have sympathised about his hip while he asked about my time.

HildegardVonBingham · 24/01/2026 10:27

Back to bliss and harmony with DP but YABU to everyone suggesting I’m even remotely in the wrong ♥️

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 24/01/2026 10:34

There are some things your post is hinting at but not specifically saying. Was DP the one really wanting to do PR today and nagged you into it with the explicit promise that you'd run together and take it easy? If so then yes, SIBU.

Otoh given you'd done several marathons in good time she might have thought 30 mins was a "reasonable pace" for a 5k and felt you were the one dropping out of the "deal" if you started going slower because you hadn't stretched - which seems pretty silly for an experienced runner.

It's a bit contradictory - if you wanted to rush off after because you were going out then surely a fast run and then immediately leaving would be more convenient for you not a slow jog and then wandering off to the cafe and time waiting for her to come and find you?

RottenBanana · 24/01/2026 10:38

Your partner is clearly a much faster runner than you. Your lightning zone 4 pace sounds like it is probably her zone 2 easy pace as sub-30 really, really isn't that quick. So she is going to end up ahead of you. Which ultimately means you are not running partners unless she is constantly looping back for you, and that doesn't work at ParkRun. Together at ParkRun doesn't mean literally side by side. You do your own thing, the first to finish waits for the other, then you have coffee together.

YABU.

Marmite27 · 24/01/2026 10:48

We start together but regularly say see you at the finish if one is feeling better/worse than usual.

ShawnaMacallister · 24/01/2026 10:50

HildegardVonBingham · 24/01/2026 10:27

Back to bliss and harmony with DP but YABU to everyone suggesting I’m even remotely in the wrong ♥️

Hilarious 🙄 you're lucky she's so downtrodden tolerant

Goodadvice1980 · 24/01/2026 14:30

newmenewwhatever · 24/01/2026 10:05

do you think they ran ahead to get a bit of space from you?

I was wondering the same!

YABU OP for also starting running without stretching.

dizzydizzydizzy · 25/01/2026 11:41

it was good that DP apologized. I would recommend you also apologize for being arsey and then just put it behind you. It’l all be forgotten by tomorrow

Eggsandavocado · 25/01/2026 11:44

This is why I always run alone so I can run my own race (yes I know parkrun isn’t a race)

You sound a bit dramatic to be fair

BuildbyNumbere · 25/01/2026 12:33

So you say to do the park run even though you didn’t want to … they moan that she’s run off, even though you were the one that wanted to get it done and go out after. You get hurt and can’t finish but get annoyed that she did … what? Sounds like you didn’t want to do it and behaved like a stroppy teenager to spoil the whole thing!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

BuildbyNumbere · 25/01/2026 12:36

HildegardVonBingham · 24/01/2026 10:27

Back to bliss and harmony with DP but YABU to everyone suggesting I’m even remotely in the wrong ♥️

Why because your DP apologised and you didn’t, so she’s “forgiven”?!? You sound like a controlling bully!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/01/2026 12:38

Sounds like a big fuss over nothing

StrawberrySquash · 25/01/2026 12:49

HildegardVonBingham · 24/01/2026 10:27

Back to bliss and harmony with DP but YABU to everyone suggesting I’m even remotely in the wrong ♥️

The true unreasonable ones are those calling 30 minutes sedate! 😭😭

Doone22 · 25/01/2026 13:44

Bloody hell in what kind of relationship do you feel the need to obsess over every tiny little thing you've been upset over? You sound like a right PITA

Marmalady10 · 25/01/2026 15:48

My suggestion would be don’t do an official park run and expect to do it leisurely, if you are both competitive. Perhaps arrange an unofficial park run when it is just the two of you instead.

NoKnit · 25/01/2026 16:06

I personally think headphones shouldn't be allowed at parkrun anyway.

But I can't see the big deal here unless your DP didn't stop to see if you are ok when you had a cramp or stitch. Any parkrunner should do that

But the running together or at a certain pace thing I don't get. Agree sub 30 isn't all that fast but it isn't about speed. It was cold yesterday if you're dressed to run and then expected to walk that could be a problem

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