Sharing a bathroom with my neighbour is slowly breaking me

[beefthief]

Thread title: Sharing a bathroom with my neighbour is slowly breaking me
OP — Posted by: WallTooThin
I need to vent and also check if I’m losing my mind.
I share a bathroom with my neighbour (old building, “temporary” setup that has now lasted 3 years 🙃). On paper it sounded fine. In reality? Absolute chaos.

They will occupy the bathroom for 45 minutes minimum. Shower, music blasting, mirror monologues, the works. Meanwhile I’m doing the pee-dance in my hallway like an idiot. Knocking does nothing. Texting does nothing. It’s like once they cross the bathroom threshold, the outside world ceases to exist.

Hair. Everywhere. Sink, floor, shower walls. I don’t even know how one person produces this much hair. The toilet seat is also constantly left up, which would be annoying but fine—except they also don’t wipe it. I shouldn’t have to mentally prepare myself every time I need to sit down.

I’ve tried being polite. I’ve tried hints. I’ve tried schedules. Nothing sticks longer than a week.

Has anyone survived a shared-bathroom situation like this? Do I confront them directly, or do I just accept that this is my villain origin story?

Surely there are rules against this??
Plus, when bathrooms are being refitted etc people cannot be left without toilet facilities.

OP, you need to contact your landlord or letting agents, how has this been allowed to continue and when was your last inspection?

This is not real, you don't share a bathroom with a neighbour. Is it a house share?

Firstly, we are all becoming doomed if people can't even write a post without AI. It has its uses for people who genuinely struggle due to learning disabilities, but am starting to think its being used when it just isn't necessary 🙈 Secondly, dubious as I am about how real this post actually is- if its been going on for 3 years (🧐) why aren't you looking for somewhere else to live?!?!

Buy a cheap pail for when you need a pi*h.

Didn't realise Jack and Jill bathrooms existed externally, thought that's just something inside one property??

Do they use it at a specific time each day, before work for example? I’d play them at their own game, get there just before them and take the 45 minutes ignoring their knocks. Use every drop of hot water (if that’s your setup). They should be more willing to engage / reasonable after that.

I don’t understand how this works. Do you live
in an HMO?

What time does neighbour use bathroom? Set alarm, get in the before

You obviously live in a bedsit with a shared bathroom. Can you afford to move?

I lived in several places like in the 70s it wasn't unusual. They were badly done house conversions. There were still houses standing then that only had a shared toilet at the end of the terrace. I had thought those days were gone but maybe not.

You can’t change it unless the landlord is intending to put in new bathrooms. Moving is the only option.

You must be renting and it is a house share. Therefore move. It is 3 years why haven't you?

(Neighbour means person living in property next door not in the same building. They are housemates).

I don’t really get it because you say that it was supposed to be temporary, but then you say that the arrangement was on the tenancy which would indicate that it was in fact permanent.

So … just move if you don’t like it.

I have lived in share houses in the past where the landlord let each room individually rather than a group of mates joining together to find a house, and it sounds like that’s what you have here. You don’t get to choose who you live with and you can’t do anything about their behaviour, as long as they’re not doing anything illegal. So I don’t see what your options are other than a) move or b) put up with it.

I can’t even imagine what a set up like this would look like other than rooms in a house share. Two separate properties can’t be using the same bathroom.

it's hasn't clarified anything. ai has turned your post into an over the top drama - "villain origin story".

you signed up to a tenancy with a shared bathroom. one of the other people is taking too long in the bathroom and making a mess. if you want advice use your own words to write your post.

They can if they are rented not owned. As I said above it used to be quite common at the cheaper end of the market. I don't know why people can't even imagine this set up.

So it’s a shared bathroom. Very normal in a house share / HMO / bed sit. Can be really annoying if the person you share with isn’t considerate.

The only real answer is to move. When you say it was supposed to be temporary, do you mean the bathroom situation or you living there at all?

Please can you tell us more? You have put
a thread on MN with very little info. Surely you don’t really expect to receive helpful advice because if you did you would give more detail,
such as which country do you live in, which could be relevant. What is your domestic and financial situation in that you can’t find better accommodation?

You have given us details of the mess of the bathroom, talking to this person will have no effect. Finding better accommodation will!

it's very difficult to give advice without better undertanding why this arrangement is in place,

why do you describe it as 'temporary' when it clearly isn't?

was this situation in place for a long time before you moved in?

who was responsible for drafting your tenancy agreement and what did they tell you about it?

is this neighbour's legal position the same as yours, or do they have more security of tenure? how long have they lived there?

who is (legally) responsible for cleaning the bathroom? or maintaining it? what about the utility bills?

By "neighbour" do you mean "flatmate"?
I'm astonished by the posters saying it's fairly normal for two separate properties to have one bathroom. If so they aren't actually separate surely?

I know in victorian times there could be a communal latrine/wash house in a shared courtyard etc but I thought those days were long gone. Maybe I've led a very sheltered life.

In answer to OP question, you've tried anything I would suggest so just find somewhere else to live.

I don't know if it's normal now because I don't live in that world any more but it was normal 50 years ago and that is hardly Victorian.

I also think the OP should move but maybe finances are an issue.

Op,

Are these two separate flats in the same building or is this a shared house?

Who has done this and decided it is temporary?

Why have you put up with this for so long and not moved?

Substitute Son for Neighbour and you’d be me but more like an hour than 45 mins

Rewrite it in your own words

As others said it’s been 3yrs. Move
how much rent do you pay