To think this isn’t how it works? (Private school bursary)

[Fenchurk]

DS is in Y5 and the school mums are all debating which secondary to go for. We have one good state school, one not so good a bit further away and one private school nearby.

One of DS’ friends is now apparently applying to the private school. It’s very expensive, with everything included would be about 10k a term. When we were all talking, the mum (we’ve been good friends since Reception so I know her well) she said her plan is to get a bursary for half the fees as she’s on UC, and get her son’s dad to pay for the other half. She hasn’t actually spoken to the school yet.

AIBU to think this isn’t how it works? Although she’s on UC - as are we - she’s remarried and owns her home, has a car on HP, goes on holidays etc. Her son is not academically able or particularly talented in anything, so I don’t think he’d get a scholarship.

If it was that easy to get a private school place paid for, surely everyone would be doing it

Sounds like private education is out of her price range, as it is for many people

Sometimes they get bursaries if the child is v good at a certain sport

This.

I have friends that have a 60% bursary. Both work and earn good salaries (not enough to afford private school). Their son sat a exam and passed and he was awarded the bursary. They were just under whatever the salary cap for bursary was.

Their second son is not so academically strong however he has a dyslexia diagnosis so she is hopeful they can do the same.

They all have different criteria. It's not one criteria fits all.

You don't necessarily have to be academically outstanding for a bursary but they usually look at whether or not it would be particularly beneficial for that child to attend a private school- for example, do they have a sibling at home who requires extensive care, do they have a medical issue which can be better accommodated at private school, etc.

They would also be wanting to see that the parents are contributing as much as they possibly can and making significant sacrifices for it.

However, from what you describe he wouldn't get into a selective school even if they had all the money in the world.

It doesn’t work like that. The bursary process for my DD’s school is forensic - even asked me about payments like compensation from easyJet for a delay. They also ask if anyone is helping you pay the fees, and check where the payments are coming from.

also there’s no her half and his half.

It sounds like it depends on the school but I don’t know how they consider separated parents?

They look at both. It wouldn’t be the first time a couple pretend to be separated to try to get a bursary on the single mother’s non-existent income…

They’ve seen it all.

Are you sure that there aren’t some wealthy grandparents in the background? It might be that she’s not actually planning to use a bursary but is just saying that to not sound braggy about money….

Unless there’s some unexpected lottery win then no…

People do seem to come up with some weird ideas about school applications that are just not based in reality. I don't know anything about bursaries for private but round here many many people talked confidently about secondary Grammar school for DC who were struggling with the basics (at a very non pushy state primary), and also sending their kids to a highly oversubscribed secondary nearby which it just isn't possible to get into from an address in our location. There are special arrangements for both of these school categories for eg looked after children but I've known lots of these families since the children were born and that doesn't apply to them...

Scholarships and bursaries are different. She’s not unreasonable to try. If her child is capable of getting a scholarship then they should rightly be able to benefit from it (although often they are just a small percentage of the fees eg 10% or 20%). If she is seeking a bursary then all of her finances and interests will be looked into to see whether her child is eligible. It’s risky though when there are no guarantees they will be eligible for enough of the fees and for all of the years at the school.

Edited as I obviously cannot read 🤦‍♀️

My DD is at a private girls' school in Norwich. Extremely intelligent, very able, top in most subjects. We're not a high earning household at all, she got in on a scholarship and we have a bursary for most of the rest of the fees.

We had to provide a lot of detailed financial information, and update this annually.

Some private schools are desperate to recruit these days and will hand out scholarships all over the place - sport, DT, drama etc etc. They realise that there is a prestige value attached to it which can matter more than the financial to some families. So he may well get a scholarship for tai chi or something random but what financial they attach to it are another story.

Bursaries and Scholarships are two different things, though it is possible to have both.

Scholarships are awarded on academic merit. Someone wealthy can win a Scholarship. They are not means-tested but most schools limit them to a value of 10% of fees.

Bursaries are awarded on the basis of financial need. Depending on the school they may be open to any child who passes the entrance exam rather than reserved for the cleverest so this child may be fine to apply without being superbrainy.

What's not fine is expecting the school to disregard the father's income for the purpose assessing wealth for a bursary and then for the father to contribute to the fees. The income of both parents will be assessed. Some schools will also require applicants to declare whether the child's grandparents hold significant assets, and if they do to justify why those assets can't be used. The bursary decision will be made on the basis of dad's wealth as well as mum's and so the answer will probably be "nope" or perhaps a token 10%.

A lot of families who don't get bursaries lead very basic lifestyles without nice cars or expensive holidays or gym memberships or streaming service subscriptions, because the fees take up every penny beyong what is needed fir basic shelter and food. No school is going to give out bursaries that let a family have a more affluent lifestyle than the people who don't qualify for bursaries.

All depends on the individual schools bursary policies. Somewhere like Christs Hospital does a lot of bursaries for all sorts of reasons, a much smaller school would tend to link a bursary to something the child 'brings' to the school. My ds went through 2 independent schools on near 100% bursary BUT he was very bright. Due to the dynamics of ex and myself the financial assessment was only on my income, but equally it can be based on both mum and dad incomes. Be aware they also look at savings and cost of living.

Bursaries are means tested. Scholarships are usually worth a 10% fee reduction if anything at all. I started filling out a bursary application and they want to know everything - Netflix, Disney +, how much you spend on food per week. Luckily we no longer need a bursary but they are very rigorous. I would like to know how you get UC having a new car, holidays etc!!

Scholarships can also be from a very small to a very large %age of fees. Depends on school. My DD has a 15% scholarship. A friend's DD had about 70%.

Was is she on UC when they have a household income of 100k 🤯