To think this isn’t how it works? (Private school bursary)

[Fenchurk]

DS is in Y5 and the school mums are all debating which secondary to go for. We have one good state school, one not so good a bit further away and one private school nearby.

One of DS’ friends is now apparently applying to the private school. It’s very expensive, with everything included would be about 10k a term. When we were all talking, the mum (we’ve been good friends since Reception so I know her well) she said her plan is to get a bursary for half the fees as she’s on UC, and get her son’s dad to pay for the other half. She hasn’t actually spoken to the school yet.

AIBU to think this isn’t how it works? Although she’s on UC - as are we - she’s remarried and owns her home, has a car on HP, goes on holidays etc. Her son is not academically able or particularly talented in anything, so I don’t think he’d get a scholarship.

My guess is she is shooting her shot - why not? I suggested to a friend she put her son up for a sport scholarship but she refused because she didn't want him going to a private school. He is now failing in a state school and doing drugs. If you don't try you don't know. At least she isn't a reverse snob.

It'll depend on school, as others say, but at a school local to me, a divorced parent was unable/unwilling to move in with new partner until her child on bursary had finished at the school, because of the fee implications

This!

Our son had a scholarship for a cathedral choirschool for being in the choir. Lots of work. And lots of boys wanting to join.

Boys not in the choir had a bursery but never 100%. Getting a bursery in 2026 and not pay a fee is a dream.
You also have to pass the 11+ and lots of parents like the idea of a refund in fees.

Has she spoken to the dad about paying?
A lot of dads doesn't have that kind of money.

A friend’s son won a music scholarship to a prestigious private school. By October half term he was in the local comp with his friends. Sometimes what the child wants and where they feel happy is important. He went on to study at a conservatoire after A levels.

Bursaries and scholarships have been drastically reduced at DC’s school. Scholarships are down to around 15-20% max (so basically, the VAT) and they are keeping cash reserves in order to be able to assist any existing families who get into difficulties during exam years etc.

Let her apply, she’s living in dreamland. Hopefully for her kid’s sake she has a back up plan.

We had a bursary - the process was quite intrusive. We had to provide financial information for all adults with parental responsibility including bank statements for a set time period, proof of the value of any owned cars, details of any loans, mortgages, rents etc.

My dd is also exceptionally academic and was scouted for entry to the school.

We then lost the bursary because I got a 7k pay rise, I was still on less than 30k and we didn't own any property, old cars, no holidays etc.

With VAT, most private schools that I know have reduced their bursary offerings and are focusing on supporting existing families.

Labours' VAT policy only widened the gap, just as many people said it would.

If she's a good friend encourage her to apply early to get her ducks in a row, then it's up to her and the school. If she's not a good friend, stay out of it!

My husband's ex wanted their DD to go to a private school, and she initially got a bursary offer on the basis of her own income by implying Dad wasn't on the scene. When Dad found out and told the school that he had their child almost 50% of the time and had a household income of £150k, they rescinded the bursary offer within a week! Most private schools will look at both parents' income unless one parent isn't really involved at all.

To be fair, it sounds like his dad has that kind of money - unless his new wife brings in the majority of the household income. Whether the dad agrees on the schooling decision and is willing to pay is quite a different matter.

I love the way she's confidently 'planning to get a bursary' - like it's just the same as planning to pop into Spar to get a loaf of bread!!

I’d also stay out, much depends on how he does on the day whay she says about the relationship with the ex etc, and a bursary and scholarship are very different things,

I was shocked to discover that yes, it can work that way when someone I know was offered a bursary. They didn't take it in the end as actually even with it it would be a stretch and they couldn't have done the same for the next one.

I don't know, I suppose she can but try? I was under the belief that the kid had to be super smart.

Wouldn't they need a tutor?

I don't think the fact she has a car and goes on holiday means they'll think she's too well off to qualify. They don't expect the bursary kids to live in an HMO and wear rags.

That’s for a scholarship. A bursary is different and is support for fees in low income families.

Ah ok. Thank you. So the fact he's not so smart doesn't matter? Surely he'd need to pass the entrance exam? The average state primary wouldn't prepare them properly for the private school 11 plus? But if it's not selective I guess she may as well try!

As someone whose child has a bursary, I think she's a little bit deluded, though I'd never dissuade anyone from trying.

I've been through 2 schools, and neither has considered my ex's income, but they are very thorough on household income. I'm single, but would have to disclose a partner's income if I lived with one.
In both schools, you're alao asked about the equity in an owned property, which has to be below around £250k I believe.
You have to list value of your car as an asset. If you have costly finance, they request you get rid or disregard some of the expense.
Expensive holidays are also frowned upon.

This year's bursary was particularly difficult and only given to very academic/sporty children or those with exceptional circumstances. One young lady who was quite bright - STEM subjects - was only given 5% and had to leave after a term.

It won't be as smooth sailing as she believes, unless she has information we don't.

Each school has their own criteria for bursaries and scholarship, so she has nothing to lose in applying.

She should also apply to other schools anyway just in case.

Bursaries and scholarships are two different things

Most independent schools are run as charities and to keep charity status need to retain a charitable element which is generally the issue of bursaries to enable those who couldn’t afford to pay the fees to have the costs subsidised. Purely financially focused, requiring a lot of info provided and they will consider lifestyle within that to make sure the subsidies are appropriate.

Scholarships are to address talents in a particular field, whether academic, sport, music etc. Completely independent of financial position of the parent

My daughter had both at independent school

Some schools have a maximum household income for bursaries. It sounds like an expensive school so £100k might be below the maximum, but for some private schools their income would be too high despite the mum being on UC

Scholarships and bursaries are usually separate pots of money these days, and scholarships are often for nominal amounts (or, e.g., free music tuition for Music scholars).

If a school is academically selective then it’s quite common that they would require any bursary candidates to be in, say, the top quartile or top 50% of pupils sitting the entrance exam - they don’t need to be exceptional, but the school wants to know that theyll
hold their own (and won’t drag the results down!).

The assessment process is very thorough, to the point of being intrusive. Schools generally have less money to splash these days, so they want to make sure it’s going to the most deserving candidates.

There have been similar posts on MN in the past - parents who want their child to go to a top private school and assume because they are on UC or a low earner, they will be able to get funding, even when their child is average academically.

It’s a common misconception that many have that any bursaries are about finances only and low income means they qualify - they forget that their child needs to actually get into the school and even then, any bursary won’t be a large percentage of fees.

Just let her crack on. 😂 We have a family like this in our village. They are very ‘aspirational’ as in they cosplay being posh, but they aren’t - come from fairly ordinary working class backgrounds, live in a really bog standard terraced house, they work ordinary not very high earning jobs, mum is some sort of admin, dad was in something corporate but got fired and has been unemployed for a bit.

But they went on and on for years about private secondary. When it came down to it, their dc didn’t pass the 11+ and apparently VAT on school fees put it out of their reach. 🙄 They continue to live their very ordinary working class lives and their dc is in the shitty local state secondary with all the rest of us. 😂

That’s household income of about 100k between the dad and stepmum. There’s also a younger sister of the boy in question, then dad and stepmum have two below school age. I don’t think 100k household income is going to pay for four kids in private school…

I think you just let her get on with it. I could say it will be hard, they will go over finances etc..... however my daughters cousin on her Dads side has just got a full scholarship it to a very well known public school when his parents were jointly earning about 70k between them. We were all shocked and then he got a another one for two years at prep school.

This depends on the school. Many top schools now waive fees (and extras) and admissions exams entirely for kids on UC & keep the funding of these places entirely seperate from the bursary. But we’re talking about schools like Eton and Harrow & they assess the potential of boys on UC vs their actual skills. Some exceptional regional schools have begun to do this but as they rely mostly on parental donations they don’t usually provide non-bursary admissions routes for people on benefits.

So it really depends on the school tbh.

A friend looked into this. The school goes through all your finances. It’s very intrusive. They expected her to use her pension pot (she’s not at pensionable age yet) to pay the fees.