Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't think that I am, but I'll run it by you anyway.

54 replies

tiredemma · 13/06/2008 17:46

Just had an email from my best friend who loves to go out every weekend. Her partner is away on a stag weekend so she is planning a night out with a few friends, message reads

"Hi we are all going up the pub on friday and then back to mine after to continue. No excuses - get DP to babysit blah blah blah"

I am instantly riled- I will be the first to admit that my social life is non-existant - this being attributed to university/placements and working to survive and eat.

The 'no excuses' bit has pissed me off as, yes- I do make excuses not to go out- not because I dont want to (who wouldnt want to go and have a drink over wiping bottoms????)

Im also upset as I feel that they haven't got a clue about me. Im doing a 37.5 hour week on placement, 18 hours part time work over the weekend (im on a night shift tonight and back in to work again on sunday morning at 8am, also have 2000 word essay to finish off for monday)

Am I 'unreasonable' in not going out? I feel like a shit for saying no again but I honestly cannot be arsed- I hardly see my kids as it is.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 17:47

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 17:47

Message withdrawn

MamaG · 13/06/2008 17:48

Y are NBU to not go, but you are being a smidge touchy

DumbledoresGirl · 13/06/2008 17:48

No she is wrong, you have other things to do, important things by the sounds of it. Ignore.

Divastrop · 13/06/2008 17:48

YANBU.does this friend have any children?!she sounds about 16

stealthsquiggle · 13/06/2008 17:48

YANBU in not going out, but don't take offence at text messages - I am sure there was a in there really [hopeful]

Original poster
tiredemma · 13/06/2008 17:50

I really can't though Cod- thats the point - I know I need to- hell I even want to, but just cant. I have been up since 6.30 this morning- out on placement all day and will be going to do a night shift at 8pm.

Its blardy shite.

OP posts:
Divastrop · 13/06/2008 17:50

or is it the case that you really really want to go out but cant and are pissed off?you do sound like you have alot on,maybe she thinks you are stressed and NEED a night out,hence the 'no excuses'?

Divastrop · 13/06/2008 17:51

x-posts,sorry

Original poster
tiredemma · 13/06/2008 17:51

Do i really sound touchy ???

ARGH- feel awful now.

feel like one of those 'shit mates'

No she doesnt have children.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 17:51

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 17:51

Message withdrawn

charliecat · 13/06/2008 17:52

She has NO IDEA what its like...
It sounds like you do need to unwind though

WenchConnection · 13/06/2008 17:53

It was just jokey, don't get angry with her, unless you are angry because you can't go out?

FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 17:54

Message withdrawn

ComeOVeneer · 13/06/2008 17:55

Sounds to me like she was giving you a nudge to really make you come it - ie she realises it is difficult for you.

I have a friend like this. she suggests a night out I say "oh I don't know, I'm tired/have to be up early for... etc etc". SHe responds with an upbeat "iwon't take no for an answer" or a solution to the reason I said no, because she knows that once we are out we have a great time.

pointydog · 13/06/2008 17:56

I completely understand. Life's tough for you just now, you're tired and you want it all to stop. It's one more bag of potatoes in your basket.

However, you do sound as if you need a break. Plan a night off or a break of somem sort for yourself.

Original poster
tiredemma · 13/06/2008 17:58

I thought you lot would say
" yes- of course you are right- your friend is clearly mad and has no clue"

Now im in a quadry.

Need to 'ponder' this.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 18:01

Message withdrawn

Original poster
tiredemma · 13/06/2008 18:02

Gosh you are so forceful Cod.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 13/06/2008 18:03

Message withdrawn

WenchConnection · 13/06/2008 18:05

Would you rather be sat in watching big brother and dealing with restless children or dressed up made up and out with friends talking about something other than nappies/schools/the price of breAD?

Original poster
tiredemma · 13/06/2008 18:11

well of course i would like to be sat in the corner of a pub getting smashed, then moving onto friends house to drink cheap wine into the early hours!.....but, im really stretched with all this work.
Im not trying to be awkward, really im not- just feel that im being pulled in all directions and honestly cant justify a night out this weekend.

I feel that as my friend is childless and the other girls going dont work then they dont understand how hard it is to just 'go out'

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 13/06/2008 18:11

i always get the no exscuses bit as for them to make a point we want you there please come out

they want you to enjoy yourself at least they still bother with you as i went through satage of finding reasons why i couldnt go and eventually thet stopped inviting me was no point i never went

now i have started to go back out again and wandered why i never done it sooner i go out as often as i can now whether for an hour or all night

it'll do you good more to life than work and being at home dont go all night just catch up and have fun

if your dp is there to babysit go for it we dont have luxury of him being around to babysit much enjoy yourself

remember to make time for just being you other than mum wife worker and student you still need to be you with your friends its one night

FrannyandZooey · 13/06/2008 18:14

well it would annoy me
the presumption of it
and the complete lack of understanding about how things can be
but I am a touchy so and so as well
I think it would be better to let it go swoooosh over your head, and just do what you want to do - don't go if you don't want to - it's an invitation, not a command - or is it? if she kicks off, ask her which it was!