Why does society hate fat people

[welshcakes4]

For most of my 20s, I struggled with being overweight, mainly because of my unhealthy eating habits and not exercising enough. I definitely turned to food for comfort, especially when I was feeling down. I’ve never really been a drinker, smoker or taken drugs, so food was my go to. I’m 32 now and I’ve completely changed my life around. I’ve adopted a much healthier lifestyle and lost 4 stone, which has made me feel so much happier. Since I’ve slimmed down, I’ve noticed a big difference in how people treat me, especially men, but women too. Their attitudes have shifted, and they seem a lot friendlier now. I know this is a bigger issue, just look online and you’ll see all the nasty comments and jokes about overweight people. I came across one earlier, and it was surprisingly the women who were being vile.

It’s fine to disagree with someone’s choices. I guess the same could be said for alcoholics, drug addicts, etc, but why all the hate and vitriol? Why are we treated like second class citizens? We’re not bad people, we just have our struggles with food. We haven’t killed or harmed anyone. It’s so strange to me that people can get so worked up and angry over someone being overweight. I’ve genuinely never understood this.

It really is.

I've never been underweight but on the low average bracket. Regular comments consisted of:
-You make me sick all what you eat (while eating normal meal deals)
-Your too skinny
-I'll pick that up, you'll snap hahaha
-You want to eat some burgers (saw this comment many of times also online aimed at any slim person)
-you want to get some meat on your bones
-you look anorexic
Mainly by people who act like they are being innocent and no one says a thing. Only once in my last work place did someone call them out for constantly commenting on what I eat. It is seen as fare game.

Imagine if I had turned around and said to a fat college 'you make me sick watching you eat. You want to loose some weight on your bones, your too fat, you want to eat some salads.' I would rightfully be flamed. Only bullying strangers are likely to say stuff like that to a fat person, but slim there seems no barriers.

How many of the larger ladies complaining about their treatment on this thread have said those things to / about a slim person? Most I imagine

Then there are general comments people make to defend larger ladies by putting down slimmer girls. Such as real women have curves, and as 1 poster put on this thread 'no one wants to look like a ruler'. Saw some horrible things about Taylor swift for example for being slim, many calling her an ironing board and saying her BF will look elsewhere for some curves. The iron board insult comes up a lot towards slimmer girls.

So yes they are treated just as bad but anyone not on the receiving end thinks it is perfectly fine. That is the only difference

This is exactly it.

I don't but I must admit that it annoys me a lot when an overweight person sits next to me in an airplane. In case of emergency, they are potentially blocking my way out if they get stuck in their seats.
There should be an especial section in the plane for them, with wider seats.

@Wickedlittledancer @bonnnn

Fine, you don't have to believe me, that is totally up to you, but perhaps you'll believe some research?

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/social-science-history/article/plump-or-corpulent-lean-or-gaunt-historical-categories-of-bodily-health-in-nineteenthcentury-thought/A82E7DB8DDD1BBAF279BD56C37769172

I remember what my teacher taught me, I also remember my own Grandma who used to feed her son (my dad) to excess, not letting go of the old Victorian way she was brought up.

Cheers anyway.

I am not aware of a hatred for fat people although I am around an average weight for my height. The only thing I don't like which could be linked to physical size is when I am on a train and a large/obese/whatever person sits next to me and I am compressed into half of my former space, but that is not so much physical size, that is more thoughtlessness.

I don't buy that.

There are quite a few reports on here of people's overweight relatives being really disparaging of obese people.

I think plenty of people do feel that some anorexics look 'disgusting' (while also feeling very sorry for them).

Basically because so many people see anyone who is overweight as being lazy,greedy,weak willed and not caring about their appearance. Which as a formerly very overweight person,I know is untrue. I am still a bit overweight, I've lost 7 stone with another 2.5 - 3 stone to go, and the difference in peoples' attitude towards me is remarkable. Overweight people seem to get a level of opprobrium that those with addictions such as drugs and alcohol don't get. I think it's probably because being overweight is immediately noticeable whereas as a drink or drugs problem,not so much.

Have you read any of this? Because:

”What troubles this historical narrative, however, are the many warnings against body fat throughout the nineteenth century. Physicians and laypeople alike wrote regularly about the unhealthy state of “corpulence,” illustrated by Banting's (Reference Banting1864) popular pamphlet, Letter on Corpulence. Such texts existed alongside numerous physician reports and medical essays praising plumpness. But, given that doctors did not regularly weigh patients or measure bodily fat in this time periodFootnote 1 (Czerniawski Reference Czerniawski2007), there is little evidence as to what these different states may have looked like. In some cases, people were proclaimed to be healthy and vibrant because they were fat, and in other cases they were proclaimed to be unhealthy and debilitated because they were fat. How these two seemingly disparate diagnoses sat side by side in the same era constitutes an interesting historical question.

Haven’t read all posts yet. But I dropped from 25 st to 18 st ! All of a sudden I was seen! Even the’it’ crowd at the school gates started inviting me to their get togethers!!! Shallow people. I think that people feel that overweight people are the lowest of the low and also they are frightened of catching the fatness disease and being associated with stupid fat people.

Totally agree.

I was about to say 'I have no skin in this game' because I'm slim - but that's really not true. I grew up in the 90s and I still have a 90s mindset where I feel better about myself when I'm slender.

That's not to say that I judge overweight or obese people - I don't, but I really do believe that weight and eating patterns are linked to psychology and societal expectations.

I'm pretty strict with myself in terms of what I eat and nutrition, although I do like to have relaxed periods sometimes and really enjoy that, but then I like to get back go normal (and feel rubbish if it takes me longer to get back to that, like in winter, where it's instinct to eat more). I like to run on the slimmer side - is that normal? Or is it because society has told me in my formative years that I look better and have more value as a thinner person?

In short, I think it's really complicated. I'd hate to be fat - why is that?

If this was true, why would they have invited you at 18 stone?

Its incredibly hard to actually starve yourself. It’s clearly a mental illness.

It’s very very easy to over eat calories. Absolutely anyone can ( and most do).

Sure, maybe read the book first which is based on years of research instead of dismissing the idea based on 1 sentence. Jesus wept

Being fat was once a sign of opulence and wealth but now tends to be an indicator of poverty. Obviously not always but sometimes. I think people also link it to laziness and it also makes them feel superior if they’re slim because they can control themselves and you clearly can’t.

I’ve been 7 stone overweight before so I know what you mean. It is partially to do with your lack of confidence when fat though. For a while after losing the weight I still had a fat person mindset so I’d still walk into a room thinking people thought I was fat, when I was a tiny size 10. It took me a while to gain my confidence and I found people to be more friendly when I was also friendly and not awkward.

I can't read every book. It being based on years of research doesn't mean it wasn't necessarily someone who found some research to twist into their own idea. There have been many, many such books.

Honestly theres loads of books with years of research that absolutely disagree with other books with loads of research.

Also if you just think about the various religions for a millisecond, you’d realise that it’s desirable to accept people with entirely different thinking to you…

Being slightly overweight was seen as desirable. Being obese in today’s terms definitely wasn’t!

Because we are taught from a young age that weight is about self discipline and self respect and linked to your character. So if you don’t care about yourself why should others care about you and treat you properly?

I’m not saying this is right but it explains why the same person can be treated very differently if they are a size 8 or size 18 even if their behavior stays the same. It’s a shame may adults can’t see beyond the external stuff and focus on the more important aspects like behavior.

This is so well put. Better than my post but same feeling

I agree entirely BUT I think your last point touches on something that is true, which is that the general disdain for fat people leads to a vicious cycle where some people will become overly self-deprecating and pointing out their weight/calling themselves disgusting so routinely that a) it leads to people finding that uncomfortable and unpleasant to be around and b) adds to the distorted perception.

This isn't blaming fat people for fatphobia, (I've been - very - fat people and I'm still overweight now, just less so) but I do think it's notable that sometimes people will self-protectively 'get in there first' with 'well, I'm big old disgusting lump so I could never wear that' and 'nobody will ever fancy me because I'm so fat' (both things a friend of mine said recently, but I've heard it from other people). And actually that level of self-hatred is deeply offputting to be around, whether it's about weight or anything else. I know someone who constantly points out his own baldness and (self-percieved!) ugliness and it's almost rude to put everyone around you into a position where they have to agree, ignore you, or console you otherwise. I know he is doing it as a protective measure but it actually just draws attention to things people otherwise might not have noticed or if they did, might have seen neutrally rather than directly as a negative.

Obviously the answer is that we shouldn't be treating people like shit for how they look so they don't feel the need to behave this way, but I DO think it contributes in a small way.

Why is that? Isn’t it obvious? Being fat is uncomfortable, unhealthy and doesn’t look nice. It’s very very simple

I don’t really believe this is true. There have always been different social classes where some people took more than their fair share. The wealthy had much more access to food than the poor, who were often malnourished and starving. I don’t think we have ever really lived in a fair society where people only take what they need or their “fair share.”

There is a fair amount of research showing that when people grew up with very little food, their bodies adapted to store energy whenever food was available, because starvation was a real threat. During pregnancy, that environment could “program” a child’s body to be more efficient at holding onto calories. This isn’t about personality or choice — it’s a biological survival response.

But once food becomes plentiful, that same survival adaptation can work against people. So higher weight in poorer populations is better explained by history, inequality, and biology responding to scarcity, not laziness or taking more than a fair share.

Doesn't look nice to who?