Why does society hate fat people

[welshcakes4]

For most of my 20s, I struggled with being overweight, mainly because of my unhealthy eating habits and not exercising enough. I definitely turned to food for comfort, especially when I was feeling down. I’ve never really been a drinker, smoker or taken drugs, so food was my go to. I’m 32 now and I’ve completely changed my life around. I’ve adopted a much healthier lifestyle and lost 4 stone, which has made me feel so much happier. Since I’ve slimmed down, I’ve noticed a big difference in how people treat me, especially men, but women too. Their attitudes have shifted, and they seem a lot friendlier now. I know this is a bigger issue, just look online and you’ll see all the nasty comments and jokes about overweight people. I came across one earlier, and it was surprisingly the women who were being vile.

It’s fine to disagree with someone’s choices. I guess the same could be said for alcoholics, drug addicts, etc, but why all the hate and vitriol? Why are we treated like second class citizens? We’re not bad people, we just have our struggles with food. We haven’t killed or harmed anyone. It’s so strange to me that people can get so worked up and angry over someone being overweight. I’ve genuinely never understood this.

I think lots of people loathe how they look & are scared of getting fat so seeing someone who is fat represents that fear. In some circles it’s far more acceptable to be an alcoholic, a drug user, a criminal etc as opposed to fat.

OP what are you hoping to get from this thread? All answers will be hurtful and will be a variation of “less attractive /visible personal failure”. If you’ve given it any thought you know the answers, they just aren’t nice.

People being more friendly is simply down to what is attractive to them. Everyone respond better to someone they find more attractive, it's not that deep.

It's only recently that jokes are seen as cruel and shaming. There are jokes about everything and anything, only some people get offended. Nowadays you can't even use the word "fat" without being accused of being offensive and nasty.

Cruel jokes? Because nasty people are nasty full stop, you just take some of them personally. Why do people attack ginger/ fat/ skinny/ tall/ short/ people wearing certain clothes/ people wearing braces/ women with short hair/, why? It's not right, but it doesn't mean society "hate" fat people, it just mean that nasty comments are directed at anyone and everyone for any reason they can find.

Just look on that very forum, the venom against people who have tattoos. Or bitterness and attacks against SAHM (there are threads where they are compared to prostitutes! come on)

It's pretending that being fat should be accepted, encouraged and celebrated that bring some negative comments, but no one wants to hear that.

I actually don’t think the societal judgments are about looks and attractiveness at all.

A lovely friend of mine said the same - when she sought medical help for her mental health they clearly thought she was mentally ill and fat. When she lost weight, they realised she was, actually, mentally ill. I've simplified it a bit.

It's pretending that being fat should be accepted, encouraged and celebrated that bring some negative comments, but no one wants to hear that.

There is also a weird narrative that you are either normal sized or morbidly obese. I have been overweight eg an extra stone & no one really noticed.

That's really sad OP. Definitely makes me think about how I might accidentally be treating someone, though I hope I'm not. If it's any consolation I think a lot of women hated me for being thin. 🤷

Apparently some people do if 'it is natural - innate - to feel disgust at ill health' 🙄
I can't begin to imagine feeling disgust at someone for a tumour - or for blood clots, diabetes, allergies, depression etc - but apparently PP does.

Agree with OP. Having lost a lot of weight over the last year people I meet who are strangers are much more friendly.

I know that, but I think it's bullshit that people hide ignorance and obsession with appearance behind "oh I'm just worried about the NHS and society's money" 🥺 nonsense.

but being less friendly doesn't mean they "hate" you?

I also get more help in general when I am wearing a dress than baggy and ripped oversized tracksuits, unless I am around a gym. It doesn't mean people "hate" me because they are less friendly when I look a right state.

What do you believe they’re based on then?

I wouldn’t say they’re based on attractiveness per se, in the sense of being pretty and young (although that definitely comes with benefits) . However I do think judgements are ultimately based on how well put together you look. Such as, are you well groomed, dressed well and appropriately for the occasion, clean looking etc…

Because it's seen as the manifestation of greed and laziness and a lack of self control. None of those are likeable characteristics.

People are inclined to be nicer to people they find physically attractive and generally speaking being fat isn’t physically attractive. I say that as someone who has been very overweight; I wasn’t physically attractive and I could barely look at myself in the mirror.

Come on, surely you can fathom the difference here? You can easily dress in a way that isn't perceived as a "right state". Obese people cannot decide from one day to the next to instantly become a healthy weight. So they face that "unfriendliness" continually, which certainly does start to feel like hate after a while. Even if each individual person is just being unfriendly and unkind, rather than actively despising.

My mother was definitely a "fatist". Every time she saw anyone large she would make comments, wouldn't make friends with anyone overweight and freely admitted she would never employ a fat person.

you are missing the point - people react to what they find attractive.

Nothing to do with hatred. If you decide to take it as being hated, it's on you, not on the general public.

I firmly believe it’s because people think fat = lazy ☹️

@BubblesandTiara I think perhaps you haven't understood my point. I said it isn't individual hate. But continual unfriendliness and unkindness (based on the apparently acceptable idea that it's ok to be a bit mean to unattractive people) from the majority of people can feel like you are hated. And you don't have the ability to step out of that by making a different choice tomorrow.

I think it’s viewed by many as a character flaw and unattractive.

In one of my friendship groups, there is one lovely but extremely fat woman. We’ve all talked about her size, behind her back. I hear similar comments about a work colleague. ‘She’d be pretty if she wasn’t so fat/she must be ruining her health/why doesn’t she start Mounjaro?…’

The stigma is deeply ingrained. It’s not right, but it won’t ever change.

I think it may be yourself who hasn’t understood @BubblesandTiara ’s point.

I get your point, but that answers the question doesn't it?
Society does not HATE fat people, fat people feel like they are being hated.

Talking in the most general terms, but you get the idea.

It’s because they link it with laziness and greed and lack of self control.

I think it's a lot more to do with themselves. They are feeling themselves superior more than the other way around iyswim. The notice of the fat person is only useful to bolster their own self perception.

It's a bias. It comes from what we see on TV and the media, what we've heard all our lives, books, magazines, films, books. Most people wouldn't really know why fat=bad, it's just a bias( unconscious for many) they have. It's everywhere, if you are fat you should lose weight. Even 'body positivity' is going against the grain so cements that fat is bad in our unconcious minds.

Most men I have met equate being slimmer with being more attractive and that's just the way it is. Men didnt really look twice at me when I was fat.I know my husband still loved me when I was fat and still found me attractive but I also know he prefers me the healthy weight I am now