Colleagues that won’t shut up in work meetings

[DaphneDahlia]

Just wanted to vent!

Unsure if it’s down to my advancing years but I seem to have lost the ability to have patience with colleagues that won’t shut up.

At work there are many meetings that have several people with separate expertise. I am finding this frequently where there is always one person who continually has an opinion on absolutely EVERYTHING!!

They just don’t pipe down and find any method to communicate their thoughts, verbally, or in the chat box or through response via symbols such as clapping hands, smiley face etc. Often they will advise/ voice opinions on something completely outside their remit. They take the time during meetings to find resolutions to things that are none of their concern, such as finding something on the internet and then posting the image in the chat, like ‘here I’ve found a solution’.

The other thing is that I only experience this with men in their 30s. Is it possible that they are trying to climb career ladder by demonstrating their usefulness or is it because they are a PITA?

Yeah, I can be very like this. Sorry. I have ADHD. I try really hard not to but often reflect and think... that was way too much of my voice.

I really appreciate people gently guiding me when I'm being insufferable. My manager is ace at this - she holds meetings well and is very good at keeping some of us succinct and making others speak up!

I'd much rather someone tactfully mentioned it or chaired firmly than felt I was really annoying.

I can recall going on a course where I worked (a university) where we were split into teams and given a topic to discuss. I was elected chair and kept one gobby (male) person in order by saying things like "Thank you Andy, but Anne is speaking and Id like to hear what she has to say." I had to do this kind of thing several times during the course of the meeting.

During the feedback session the facilitator remarked that he noticed how I "immediately took charge of the group" and ruled it in a manner he found "slightly intimidating". I informed him that I had worked for many years in a management position with extensive experience of committee work. It was often necessary to be firm in order that the quieter members of the group could express themselves without interuption. I also added that I did nto think he would have expressed this opinon to a male. I invited him to apologise. Another women spoke up and backed me, remarking that she admired the way in which I had kept some of the more pushy members in order to achieve the task. The facilitator backed down and apologised.

For an online meeting it may be annoying 😑 but all you have to do is sit there behind a screen.

All of my meetings are physical, yes those annoying people go on, which infiltrate into our commute. We feel awkward leaving because we need to go home to pick up DC at last minute nursery time.

There are always colleagues who want to elongate a meeting for their own personal input. Up to the leader to call time, we're going over, take this up next time.

On the other hand there are things one feels strongly about and time hasn't been set in the agenda. So again, take it up with those to deal with it.

Nah. ADHD can lead to sporadic info dumping for sure but consistent monopolising of conversations/meetings with no social awareness is a personality issue, not a neurodivergent one.

We had a large team around 30, with 4 sub teams.
One of the team leaders was renowned for this behaviour but what was particularly tiresome was how he did it.
So the big team meeting would be say 10 agenda items A-J, and he’d say nothing as the meeting progressed but at the ‘any other business’ bit at the end as people were starting to think about getting back to work or the actions they’ve picked up, he’d start talking…. giving his thoughts on the A-J subjects!
Usually disagreeing with the group conclusion to those items which would naturally begin another discussion of the items.
There was usually a grand ( but ill thought out ) proposal on how we could change a process to improve things thrown in too.

Id like to suggest another type of meeting person who can get in the bin.

The ‘I’m really busy but I’ll attend this meeting anyway but in case I didn’t mention how busy I am, I’ll type away , emailing and messaging throughout the meeting’

Talk to the chair
Timed agendas (as in the actual times - 9.30 Start and apologies, 9.35 Item 1, 9.45 Item 2.)
Items for the agendas to be notified to whoever sorts them out by a strict deadline. The person who proposed the item has to produce a brief document outlinining the issue, any useful info and their proposed solution. To go out with the agenda.
Top of agenda - 'It is assumed that all papers have been read before the meeting'
Then the Chair is strong - does not allow people to re-hash what is already in supporting documents. Watches the timed agenda and sticks to it.

My experience is in school governance, where governors' meetings are like herding cats. With a strong chair this worked a treat. 😂

Yes utter pains, using the managers presence to self promote. The meeting organiser should shut it down. I loved an external contractor we had who would bang on the desk and say hard finish at meeting end time and suggest those still waffling on organise a follow up meeting if they needed to explore their subject further. They never did.