Colleagues that won’t shut up in work meetings

[DaphneDahlia]

Just wanted to vent!

Unsure if it’s down to my advancing years but I seem to have lost the ability to have patience with colleagues that won’t shut up.

At work there are many meetings that have several people with separate expertise. I am finding this frequently where there is always one person who continually has an opinion on absolutely EVERYTHING!!

They just don’t pipe down and find any method to communicate their thoughts, verbally, or in the chat box or through response via symbols such as clapping hands, smiley face etc. Often they will advise/ voice opinions on something completely outside their remit. They take the time during meetings to find resolutions to things that are none of their concern, such as finding something on the internet and then posting the image in the chat, like ‘here I’ve found a solution’.

The other thing is that I only experience this with men in their 30s. Is it possible that they are trying to climb career ladder by demonstrating their usefulness or is it because they are a PITA?

I don't think it's anything to do with age it's people who like the sound of their own voices .
Full of their own importance.....YAWN
This used to piss me off in meetings myself .

Women do it too!

Really annoying woman I work with does all those things. She’s early forties. Plus, when senior management are making points on TEAMS meetings she vigorously nods her head. I want to scream at her to fucking stop it!!!

I take the minutes and even though I’m not chair, the chair likes me to keep it under control, or the minutes end up a mess. I have been known to write ‘Jessica rabbiting apropos of nothing again’ or sigh : Aaaand, moving on’
Post menopausal and take no more shit!

You would hate where I work OP. Big corporation full of people of all ages and gender who just won’t shut the fuck up!!

I have this with one person in particular, male late 40s. Will not stop piping up.

however, there are lots across most of the meetings both genders and all ages.

then I have one colleague who does nothing but moan to me. About everything. Very draining.

Heaven forfend that middle aged women might actually know what they are talking about and want to take up airtime from younger employees.

A decent clerk or chair would respond with a 'Thank you, mindful of time, we'll return to that under Any Other Business/add it to the agenda for next week's meeting, now, moving on to the next item' or 'We do need to ensure that we cover everything on the agenda first - that's you Lisa, isn't it?' without missing a beat.

Ahhh yes I have come across a few of these over the years. You just know the meeting will last x time longer and they will repeat in a different order someone else’s point or go off on a tangent.

It’s all about learning how to manage them, if it’s a quick meeting I would set expectations at the beginning and say we need to stay on x topic and the aim to get x decision. Then reiterate when needed. It’s hard and normally everyone is very aware of these people.

I don’t think in person meetings are any better to be honest. In fact, I prefer teams meetings cos I can do other things.

Could you ask for a facilitator to be present at future meetings, to keep it on track?

I’ve just moved to a new team and there’s a bloke who seems incompetent in most tasks that seem assigned to him but drones on and on in our meetings. They’re also continuously posting unfunny GIFs etc relentlessly in the chat. Honestly it’s exhausting having to put up with it! 😬 In anything wholly work related where we all have to input to get a task done, he barely talks, quiet as a mouse lol and I wouldn’t care too much but it aggravates me knowing what he’s usually like 😅.

In previous roles I had to take minutes, some at formal committee meetings. How I survived I do not know. Bores, wafflers, BS artists, sneaky creeps, the lot. Decent chairs made a bit difference but it was still torture.
I no longer have to attend ANY meetings and I love my job :).

We have a couple of young men who always have to speak for visibility's sake. Usually just repeating what someone else (often me) has said.

There is also a woman i work with (early 30s) who is unable to speak briefly and it is not possible to interrupt here. We can have an hour's meeting and she'll take up 50 minutes of it. Annoyingly I have to have a weekly online meeting with her and another colleague. The actual content could be done in 15-20 minutes but that goes on for an hour. Ive had to just accept it and I do other work on my laptop whilst she witters on.

We also co-chair a regular meeting. I insist on an agenda and that we keep to it. I have to keep on reining her in but then when I think we've almost finished she'll create her own AOB and doubles the meeting length.

Give.Me.Strength

I work with two - one male, one female.

The man is definitely trying to asset his authority in a team where he's the only man. He spouts utter shite and makes the most awful links that just don't exist between the topics we're covering. We're analysts FFS, it's important that we get facts straight!

The woman is deeply lacking in confidence in many ways, but is also a grandstanding nightmare when she finds her feet. She waits until a few minutes after someone has finished a point then often cuts off someone else from talking and reverts the conversation back to the previous point she wants to address. It drives me insane as she's usually clarifying something very minor. The simpler the point the more likely she is to clarify it.

I have no problem with people who have things to say in meetings if they are worthwhile and interesting: people who stay silent and sneer at others for participating don’t enhance a workplace.

But I loathe professional twittering: people who take up airtime with meaningless corporate platitudes to make themselves appear keen and eager.

Yes! The typing in chat a “solution “ and a Google found “thing” that may relate to the discussion at EVERY BLOODY MEETING!

The opinion and “chipping in” in every meeting on every subject.

The one I work with dominates conversations & meetings with inane crap but the most annoying thing is they are an interrupter.. talk over and interrupt anything people say. If you try to carry on, they talk louder over you.

I am amused by the constant telling me “no, that’s not quite right” or “well I wouldn’t say that”, or “well no, I would see it that way”, black is white no matter what I say.
Me “oh look, it’s chucking it down outside “ them “well no, that’s not quite right, it’s drizzling with occasional downpours “..
FFS
And, not forgetting the unsolicited “advice”, down to how I need to word a conversation or email complete with the opening greeting… “you need to say, hi Peter, just touching base…” FFS, fuck off, I know how to greet someone and what to write in an email and no I didn’t ask for your bloody advice!

It’s not just work meetings - I have been on several voluntary committees, and some of them had people who could not shut up. On one, I was the minutes secretary so I had to record the gist of the waffle twice - note taking in the meeting, then typing them up. The time we had a member who wanted to talk about the group donating pencils for her to give to children in Peru is still an awful memory, and it happened over 20 years ago.

I do agree that it is down to poor chairing - in another meeting I was minuting, we were rewriting the contract for our choir’s conductor, and the committee apparently needed to argue about every single word. In the end, I started summarising what was being said into one clause, then reading it out, and asking for everyone’s agreement. Had I not done that, I honestly think I would still be in that bloody meeting - and the choir would have gone through 4 conductors without a new contract.

They very likely have ADHD.

Agreed 💯

I agree with this.

I've worked with some of the same people for about 8 year and some of them have never ever spoke in a meeting in all that time.

Not once have they had a query or contribution. Even when asked something, the mosr response is "oh yes I agree" or "nothing to add"

I find it bizarre that someone never had anything positive or negative to say.

Meetings, brainstorming, 121's, spreadsheets, Teams, how was your weekend/holiday chit chat .. fucking kill me, I changed my career entirely and hearing all of this makes me want to give myself a slap on the back, a hug, and a chest slam 🤣 That's all

I can be like this. But it's a result of an incompetent team who don’t speak up about anything or contribute.

One organisation I used to work with was particularly bad for this. One colleague had a reputation for absolutely wittering on in meetings, often tangentially, mostly to fill the space with her own voice. On one occasion we had a mentoring session with an outside facilitator unknown to us, and he had little patience for this. After allowing her to talk for a bit, he said loudly, “Susan, SHUT UP.” I don’t think anyone had ever said that to her before - certainly not in a professional setting - and she was shocked. She did shut up, though. (I don’t believe his actions were professional, either, and he was not invited back.)

Yes, every place I've worked in has a few of these. Usually men, usually desperate to please, be noticed, or to prove how bloody astute and brilliant they are compared to the rest of us (with the same qualifications and usually more experience).

However, we currently have one who is woman..

So it's not only men, but it is mostly men. Even more so because I work in a female dominated industry. The majority of meetings are about 2:10 men:women, and yet 90% of these time-wasting try-hards are men.

I hate meetings with a passion.
Boring, the same loud mouths having an opinion on absolutely everything. All the boring, meaningless stuff is talked about first. Anything of interest is left until last when we inevitably run out of time meaning the things which directly affect us are never resolved.
This results in frustration as important issues remain unresolved and lead to frustration.
I always feel like stabbing my self in the face during these torture sessions.
Plus the loudmouths insist on rambling on and on.
The sane people don’t speak because they just want it to end.
Also any good suggestions never seems to be implemented. It’s as though the boss already has an agenda and the meeting is just a tick box exercise.

God I would love to be able to tell people to “shut up” at work. I have a colleague who talks out of anxiety to fill dead air. Its utterly exhausting to be around.

He twitters on constantly can’t leave a second of quiet without filling it with chat. Dull, meaningless, platitudes constantly.

He is a nice, kind person who means well and is going through various things in his life so I endure it but its so irritating I sometimes want to just shout at him: “Just be quiet for two seconds!”. I’d love to know how to deal with people like this.