To have mentioned moving out the area?

[StuckInIt]

Sorry in advance if this is long or confusing, I have a lot going on at the moment and my mind is a jumbled mess.

My home was broken into last week whilst myself and my young DC was in bed. A lot of things were taken and currently remains unsafe to stay in. My boyfriend (of just under a year) hasn't been that supportive in the aftermath but has offered me to a place to stay for a night or 2.

Yesterday we were vaguely discussing the fact that I am really anxious about going back home when the damage is repaired and the house is secured as I really dont feel safe there anymore. I am a lone parent with minimal support and looks like it was a targeted break in. Ultimately i said i would probably look at moving and may consider looking at another town closer to where I work. This set my boyfriend off on a tangent, he instantly started calling me everything under the sun and threw me out. He has this morning sent me a message saying we are done and blocked me.

I really cant deal with this on top of everything now, was i in the wrong here?
I am trying to keep things as normal as possible for my DD outwardly but inside I am already struggling enough as it is without this.

He's a dickhead. You are well rid of him.

He sounds like an absolute pig and you’re well rid
a nice boyfriend would be supportive and kind after such a horrible incident
I’m begging this is not the first time he’s been horrible to you

Gosh! Sorry for all that you've experienced! I would want to move too. Your boyfriend is not being a DP.

YANBU. You are prioritising your safety.
He, on the other hand has some other agenda and priorities. Leave him be. He's done you a favour, man baby.

This set my boyfriend off on a tangent, he instantly started calling me everything under the sun and threw me out. He has this morning sent me a message saying we are done and blocked me.

What 'tangent' has this set him off onto?

What actual reasons did he give for throwing you out and blocking you?

Well he’s done you a massive favour hasn’t he.
Never engage with this man again.
Move your children to somewhere away from him.

What a dick. Be grateful that he’s done the hard work for you and ended the relationship

He sounds like he needs literal mental health help. That's not a normal reaction...

I recommend you also block him so he cant come crawling back. He isn't good for you or your child and you've dodged a bullet.

I hope you have somewhere safe to stay in the meantime.

Any chance he’s involved in the break in?

Either way it sounds like he was waiting for the chance to start an argument and finish with you.

This, sorry but his behaviour has my alarm bells ringing op, this is not normal.

That was my first thought too.

I once had my car stolen from my driveway in the middle of the night. I was (unusually) alone that night. Have always felt that somebody who was very close to me was involved in some way.

At least you know who he is now.

Bullet dodged.

Enjoy your new home when you move

Don't be a dick.

Hi, sorry to hear all this
Would your home insurance pay for a hotel for a few nights whilst your home is secured and livable again? They did for my parents when they were broken into

Yes, I’m also wondering if your nasty ex was somehow involved in the burglary.

What makes you think it was targeted?

It’s relatively unusual these days for many things to be stolen during a night time burglary where people are asleep in the house. More often it’s grabbing car keys. Burglars don’t want to hang around inside, looking for stuff to steal if they know someone’s at home. And most burglaries are during the daytime, anyway.

To answer a few questions,

The police said that because they entered my property with force (they kicked the door in) and the amount of stuff that was taken/particularly items would imply more that my home or myself had been watched for some time to make me a target rather than it being random. I have quite a rigid routine with work and being in and out of the house. I had also recently been spending some nights at my partners house. So its likely they have seen I am a lone young woman with a toddler and couldnt stop them or thought I would be out that night. I rang the police from upstairs whilst they were in my house, it took them over 1 hrs 45 minutes to come out so they were already gone by then.

I dont think my boyfriend/ex had anything to do with it, however his reaction has been quite odd. He has spent a lot of time since it happened accusing me of being at another man's house during the burglary even though there are statements and evidence to verify I was actually in the house and anything could have happened to me. He's been checking my phone continuously and been quite awful if im honest. More provoking my anxiety over it all than being reassuring. I had a phone call from the police yesterday saying they had arrested a person who was on CCTV using my bank card, his first and only response was "well they cant prove it was actually stolen and not one of your other boyfriends"

I rent so dont have home insurance to help with the damage or costs for hotels or anything. My landlord was supposed to be sorting my door out with urgency but has only boarded it up with a thin layer of wood and its been almost a week. I also have no access to money until I get a new bank card to the point my manager gave me food to feed my DD over the weekend. Which I was grateful but made me feel awful.

He has spent a lot of time since it happened accusing me of being at another man's house during the burglary

He's accusing you of being with someone else?!

Honestly, that is just awful-he's really shown his true colours here. It probably feels awful now, but you are so much better off without him.

just out of interest, the day you were broken into, were you supposed to be at your boyfriend/ex's and you changed plans? Or was it a day you've often been at your boyfriend/ex the past couple of weeks?

I'm sorry, my first thought also was he had something to do with it.

Either way, sounds like you're better off without him. Hope you get things sorted soon and you and your DD are ok.

Your EX sounds like a psycho.
If anything I'd be moving so that he 100% doesn't know where you and your child live.

Don't feel bad your manager helped you out... that's a lovely thing to do.

You are well rid of this asshole. Do not go back to him whatever you do. You should move completely away from the area too. Good luck.

Leave him. Dump him. Delete him. It's a new relationship, it should be lovely and fun and supportive. If you don't feel safe in your home I completely understand why you'd want to move and so should he. He comes across as a narcissist because he's put himself at the centre - he's cross and verbally aggressive because you'll be further away from him - he's not thinking of your needs or your child. Run far far away from him. And don't look back.

Oh, OP, this is awful. I'm sorry you're going through all this.

First things first, go to your bank with ID and a copy fo the police report and explain what happened. Explain that you currently have zero cash, no family/friends to obtain support from and need to withdraw emergency cash to feed your child.

Second, I'm sorry to be blunt, but your boyfriend is an arsehole. It may not feel like it now, but you've had a lucky escape. Don't be tempted to try to contact him or stay in touch at all.

Third, I understand why you want to move and it makes sense to be closer to where you work. I'd work on finding a new rental as a matter of urgency.

I'm glad you have a kind manager. Don't feel guilty they helped you.

"I rent so dont have home insurance to help with the damage or costs for hotels or anything."

I've been renting since 1979 and have always had contents insurance. Being a renter only means you can't take out buildings insurance on the property, you can always take out your own contents insurance.

Currently I pay £106/year to insure the contents of a two bedroom terrace. Please look into taking out contents insurance on your next home. It's worth a couple of quid a week for the peace of mind, knowing that if the worst happens you won't be homeless and destitute, you'll be able to afford to live elsewhere while the damage is rectified, and restock all your old stuff with new things. (look for new for old policies so you don't end up being told that your furniture was so old they expect you to refurnish with charity shop purchases).

I thought all his actions were highly suspiscious but the more you post about him it turned out he was just a basic, possessive, controlling, jealous dick. You cannot have people like him around your child, that would be so damaging, so make sure this relationship remains over. Move closer to work and forget about him. You haven't even been together a year, just treat is as a temporary lack of judgement.

Fucking hell. Move and don't tell where you have gone.

Christ.