My husband never buys me a birthday or Christmas gift

[LucyLoo1972]

Im really hurt that my DH never bothers to buy me a Christmas gift when I buy all the presents for everyone in his family and spend a lot of time doing so.

He doesnt bother buying me a birthday present or card either and doesnt take me out for my birthday. this isnt the biggest problem in our marriage by a long stretch but it does hurt me.

do you all have partners that buy you gifts or not?

AIBU to be hurt and upset

sorry - I dint understand what you mean by the last bit about the wild guess?

no he earms 70 K and its not why I am with him. im not a gold digger becasue he made me live with so little. if I was materialistic this would all have come to a head a long time ago. it was only when I needed money for essential things to avoid untold stress that I even thought about the money issues. I just didnt see it for whatever reasons I do not comprehend in any way. its liek I just oculndt see it.

I do have no income now but I would be better off financially if we split. id have half of our assets which is a paid off house and our savings. its possible I would be able to claim spousal maintenance of some form also but I need to check iwth the Womens Aid people about that.

none of this is aobut me wanting money - I was living with a very low level lifestyle considering the money we had

the reason for leaving are very complex. I have no family, no work and have disabilities now alongside my mental health. it is an abusive situation now for sure even if it wasn't before.

can you think what may help as im out of any ideas. ive tried very single thing I can

I thought he made me so very happy. I was alwasy laughing with him every day. he never shouted at me or berated me. we were best friends and could talk for hours and hours and hours.

Match his energy and don’t buy anything for it from him. He won’t learn otherwise

ive alwasy had extreme inner straight and was pretty fearless about so many things. fro example I just went off and set up life in France for a while o my own, I would travel the world on my own and never fret, even the PhD I did was brave becasue it was calling out bad shit in the religious community I was part of for 25 years. that was the immediate trigger for my breakdwon.

im confused about this though. if I had my work and my friends and my old life and the old me who could read a book or a poem without getting terrifying thoughts and delusions I could be ok.

I have no fear of setting up a home or looking after it or myself or anythign like that its all internal terror. I dod everythign here for us in any case.

Neither does mine which is absolutely fine. I'd rather have the wee tokens he gets me every now and then than getting me things because he has to at Christmas and birthdays. Besides, I'm a grown up so there's zero need.

it is like im punishing myself. my internal state is terrifying and the psyhcolgsits cant make sense of why I began too ave delusions that I am a horrific evil perosn

maybe I took it ot heart too much becasue I wanted signs of affection too much

So he never bought you a gift and you never said anything? Me and my husband buy gifts and we did when we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

I did begin to do that after a couple of years

Follow BevTalks on Instagram and all will become clear. Then ditch him quickly.
You’re dealing with a narcissist.

I don’t get presents, but l treat him the same, l buy myself presents

its hard becasue in so many ways hes kind. sometimes I think it is me that is the narcissist wanting gifts and attention and praise