To expect locked doors at play group?

[AlwaysPurple]

Each week, I take my 2 year old DD to a stay and play toddler group at a church hall. There are 3 doors out of the room, none of which are locked, and 2 of which don't shut by themselves after being opened. The toilets/nappy change are through one door so they get opened quite frequently. My child is one of those always looking to escape. It's a lovely group, very welcoming, got some nice friends there, but the door situation is starting to stress me out. There are maybe 15 kids there so it's hard to keep a constant eye on DD and I worry she is going to sneak through an open door in the 5 seconds I take my eyes off her and get out of the building.

I've spoken to the leader but she said the doors can't be locked because of fire escapes. Every other play group we go to has locked doors that only adults can open and automatically lock behind them. AIBU to expect locked doors and to stop going over this? Or do I just need to chill a bit more. No other parent seems bothered by it!

It is probably down to the building. It will be a constraint, usually specified by the local fire department about which doors can be locked and the amount of push door fire doors and escape routes they have in the event of an emergency. If there are 15 children in there, plus adults, there needs to be a way of exiting the building safely in the event of an emergency which won’t lead to people getting trapped in the building when trying to get out.

Three doors is alot to watch, the playgroup at a church hall I go to isn't locked either and kids can easily open it but most don't and watching one door is at least easier than 3. However if there are building regs regarding fire escapes, I think they have to adhere, might depends on the buildings and escape routes etc.

The drop and go playgroup I use is staffed by paid professionals so the doors are locked there, but they have fire evac in their risk assessments and so are covered, volunteer run ones often aren't.

But if its stay and play isn't each parent watching their own children? If it was drop and go I could understand the issue

If it concerns you (which isn't unreasonable) you need to look at another playgroup. Modern buildings such as purpose built children's centres are designed in a way that you can have safe fire exits, usually ones that lock but can be unlocked instantly with a green 'press to exit' button. It isn't always possible (physically, or due to prohibitive cost) to retrofit these to old buildings.

It will be fire regs..those doors cant be locked..you will just need to keep watching...

If you’re not comfortable and can’t keep your child safe then you can’t just chill - find another playgroup.

The leader could probably give reminders for parents to close the doors behind them so kids don’t escape - signs on the doors?

I've never seen locked doors at a playgroup. I would have thought it was a fire safety risk too. And my son is a flight risk too, I just need to keep my eye on him.

At my playgroup we've locked all the doors that leave the building except one that leads to the garden, and we lock the garden gate so if anyone escapes out there, they're contained. But I think we're just lucky we can have that set up.

If it's at a church hall it is likely either run by the church, or run by volunteers who are loaned or rent the hall. As much as I see why you would like locks, it's likely that the church doesn't have the money to get these locks, and that neither do the organisation running the group (if it's not run by the church). Plus, if it's an Anglican church, they would need lots of permissions from the wider church and it gets messy! Also there will be issues around who else uses the building and whether they are happy for the door to be locked. The church probably runs other kids groups, those groups maybe have no desire to lock the kids in, and may legally need not to. It may well be a fire safety requirement that the kids can open the doors!

My first worry was what about a fire... presumably the doors locked at other groups can be open by adults trying to rescue you from other side?

If you don't want to go, don't go. That's not unreasonable. Do what you want.

YABU to expect lockable doors in every community centre/church hall/playgroup space.

It is the way it is. If you don't like it, don't go.

You can’t watch 3 doors, but you can watch 1 child. That’s what you need to do.

I’ve never seen locked doors at a stay and play. Obviously if it stresses you out, don’t go. But I think you’ll find it hard to find one that does lock the doors.

Thinking about it, I once went to one at a purpose built children’s centre (as opposed to one in a village hall etc) and the doors weren’t locked but they did have high handles so children couldn’t reach them. But that was definitely an outlier.

No you cannot lock people in due to fire regulations and the fact people need to come through the door. Toddler groups have parents staying so they can follow their kids around. Our bugbear is parents (let’s face it mums) playing on phones and ignoring their children, I’m so close to getting them handed in!

I've never been to a playgroup with locked doors that sounds like a huge fire risk. You are there supervising and playing with your child so I think it's not at all unreasonable to think doors being left unlocked wouldn't be an issue.

YABU. Basic fire safety.

15 kids so up to 15 parents, so perhaps the parents can all make sure doors are shut? Perhaps you could volunteer to make some "please keep this door shut" posters to put up each session?

Your child, your responsibility. If your child will not follow an instruction to not go through the door, then you will need to keep a close eye on them.

I go to a lot of church hall playgroups and none have ever locked doors.
I wouldn't want to go somewhere that locks the doors!
If you only have one child can you not just follow her round?

They can't lock the doors, that's a fire and safety risk. Just supervise your child.

Locked doors would be a huge fire risk.

If you can't keep an eye on your DD then go to another playgroup.

The group we go to doesn’t have locked doors. We are all pretty on it about closing doors after ourselves when we arrive/go to the loo though so toddlers don’t try to make a break for it.

I don’t think locked doors is the standard… is it?! I feel like it’s not, I’ve never seen it anyway and I’ve been to quite a few groups through the years. Just keep an eye on your child, there’s only one of her!

You want to lock the door to the toilets and baby change?! How is that practical?

I have never been to a toddler group with locked doors. I’ve seen some with handles high enough or doors heavy enough a toddler couldn’t open them, but that’s not the same as locked, nor is it fair to expect at every location.

You just have to watch your child - which you should be doing anyway because how do you know they aren’t rummaging in someone’s nappy bag and finding something they shouldn’t? Hitting another kid? Eating the bit of dirt they found on the carpet?

Welcome to parenting a toddler…

I’ve never been to a toddler or baby group with locked doors, I’d be more worried about having to unlock doors in a panic in the event of a fire than just having to watch my own child to make sure they don’t escape.

The set up sounds perfectly normal. Doors to the loo can’t be locked for practicality and you’ll need a door to the outside for fire regs. You just need to watch her which shouldn’t be too hard if she’s your only?

The one I went to many years ago didn't have locked doors. It was in a church hall and the door to the main room had to be unlocked so that people could access the toilets which were near the outside door, and the outside door was never locked either, it was usually wide open especially in summer.
You are supposed to watch your child, just as you would anywhere else.