To expect locked doors at play group?

[AlwaysPurple]

Each week, I take my 2 year old DD to a stay and play toddler group at a church hall. There are 3 doors out of the room, none of which are locked, and 2 of which don't shut by themselves after being opened. The toilets/nappy change are through one door so they get opened quite frequently. My child is one of those always looking to escape. It's a lovely group, very welcoming, got some nice friends there, but the door situation is starting to stress me out. There are maybe 15 kids there so it's hard to keep a constant eye on DD and I worry she is going to sneak through an open door in the 5 seconds I take my eyes off her and get out of the building.

I've spoken to the leader but she said the doors can't be locked because of fire escapes. Every other play group we go to has locked doors that only adults can open and automatically lock behind them. AIBU to expect locked doors and to stop going over this? Or do I just need to chill a bit more. No other parent seems bothered by it!

Surely you just follow your child around. You can't just stand around drinking tea and chatting. You have to be following them around.

Just watch your child.

Saying that, I appreciate I'm fortunate in that neither of my kids were runners. We didn't even lock the front door at home when they were toddlers because they just weren't that way inclined thankfully. But we always kept a close enough eye that we'd have known. Toddlers are hard because you need eyes at the back of your head but you need to be watching them regardless of the doors because there are a hundred other ways they could come to harm.

I've never been to a playgroup where the doors are locked. One of mine was always really quick, but that meant I always had an eye on him. At 2, you need to know where they are all the time anyway.

i have never known a group where parents stay with locked doors. You just need to watch your own child, as PP said, you don’t need to watch three doors just one child.

YABU

I have never seen any group with a locked door - church hall, rented hall, whatever the space was used.

Because no child is left unattended, and every parent is in charge of their own child, it's up to the parent to supervise and there's no risk. You shouldn't leave a child without supervision at that age, these groups are for babies and very little ones, they are too young to understand much of the concept of "sharing", you are expected to keep an eye at all time.

All these smug people saying "watch your toddler" 🤣. Parents often have two kids at these groups - most often a baby and a toddler. Having eyes on both constantly at these groups isn't possible.

As a twin mum I would've sacked this group off after one attempt, it sounds really stressful. I'd've had them out opposite doors in no time at one point!

Sadly it does sound like fire regulations, so I think you'll need a new group until your toddler is at a different developmental stage.

The OP only has one child though - if you had 2+ runners you presumably wouldn't choose a playgroup with 3 exits.

You should question why you think it's acceptable to imagine leaving your toddler creating mayhem without supervision?

All the groups I have been too offered a cup of tea to mums too - how can you not check your child is not pestering parents who are holding hot drinks?

At my playgroup we've locked all the doors that leave the building except one that leads to the garden

Aren't you required to have more than one exit?

I didn't suggest leaving a toddler creating mayhem. Far from it. Neither was OP. I've had to stand in the middle of a room watching one walking around with a pram, dropping that and getting on a balance bike, while the other is dressing dolls one minute then suddenly is on the mat playing with fire engines.

Much changes in 5 seconds. I was empathising with the OP that things change in a heartbeat.

Bless your heart that you ever got to look down at a cuppa at these groups though. Some of us were busy with our kids and didn't have time.

The old I dont want to use logic so I will use the old smug word, when people use this word I wonder what issues they are projecting

parents are responsible for looking after children and no creating a fire hazard is not reponsible

Playgroups Ive been too never had locked doors. Surely it's down to parents to look after their child. If you feel uncomfortable in this situation it's not the right place for you

Twas ever thus at toddler groups. The problem is parents who will not close doors.

No issues. Plenty of logic. Was empathising with OP. And reinforcing the need for fire regulations. But thank you.

I wouldn't no. But am empathising with the OP.

Happy to be smug then 😂😂

I had two with a small age gap at these groups. Shockingly neither ran out and I could keep and eye on them both. There were places I didn't go when they were both young, like soft play because it was too easy to lose one, but a toddler group was fine. If that one doesn't work for the OP, there are many others.

I am exactly that parent right now with a baby and a toddler- I can still keep an eye on them not escaping!

As PP says there are places I’d avoid like big soft plays but at this age they do both need to be supervised, doors or no doors, there is always a hazard or a spilled drink somewhere or a fight over a toy, you have to be watching your kids.

Thank you 😊 I should feel smug that I managed to keep an eye on my children at all time while still having a cup of tea. It's a baby group, not DisneyLand 😂