Squirrelling away money

[Berrybutler]

How does one go about “squirrelling away” money?
Heading for divorce from cheating husband. Have been SAHM for the last 10 years and will be responsible for all childcare. Will get some money from STBXH but not enough really to see me through whilst I figure out my future job options.
‘We’ have a modest amount of savings here and there totalling around £15k but only I have access to the accounts the money sits in.
When people say to start squirrelling away money, what do they mean by that? Do I need to start taking cash out and stashing it somewhere?
TIA for any advice.

When you go to supermarket get £50 cashback every time. Put it in an envelope it will soon mount up.

I love my husband dearly and never want to live apart from him but I have a ltb rainy day fund because you just never know. Whenever I draw out cash, I put some (50-100) in a folder which eventually turned into a private bank account. Hopefully I will never need it but it’s there if I do.

Please don’t just put cash into an envelope and put it straight into a bank account instead (ideally one where you can withdraw the money easily, the same day, with the highest interest rate available).

When I was on maternity leave and I had barely any money, my ex had tonnes. He'd give me his card to do a food shop (but would never give me cash) so what I used to do was buy a gift card or two as part of that food shop.

If it was near Xmas, I'd buy a few toyshop gift cards. I'd buy cards from clothes shops so I could buy the kids clothes.

Might be worth thinking about.

Thanks all. Yes I can do that easily enough. I was just concerned with having a stash of cash, just in case something happened to it. But having a separate account with money in that Ive gradually moved over would surely be found and have to be accounted for during divorce proceedings.

Op you’d usually used that LTB fund before divorce was sorted, you’d use it for deposit for a new rental property or used for bills if he refuses to pay once he’d left. If you are expecting a fund to last for a long term after the divorce that’s not likely to work unless you go for cash in an envelope option.

Yes your separate account will be part of the divorce agreement but that takes ages to sort. On the day you walk out, you need an account he can’t block so you can pay a rental deposit and new bills etc.

you can get an account with an online bank like Starling or Monzo and gradually move money in.

I kept cash. I made envelopes with £250 in each then stashed them away in places my OH wouldn't think to look (inside books etc). I had about £4000 when we eventually split
Yes, it's a bit risky (if i died they might never be found) but it was the only way to make sure it was untraceable

This is a really sensible approach. I wish more women would be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Husband won’t notice £100/£200 cash being taken from accounts every now and again, and neither will he question the overall balance of an account at any point, but will whoever the divorce people are who look at finances, will they question why cash has occasionally been taken out and what it was used for?

This is why cashback at the supermarket is less obvious

As per PPs:
Build up cash through cash-back or buying useful gift cards at the supermarket - clever idea, that.

Put the cash in an account in your name that your STBX can't access so you'll have access to funds to support your move. Also, if you put down a deposit in cash for a rental flat, that will seem dodgy/may not be accepted b/c it seems dodgy.

Also, you need an account in your name so that you'll have somewhere to deposit your pay or UC or whatever since you won't want to put it in a joint account at that point. Ideally, you'll have 2 accounts: a current account for payments and receiving any funds and a savings account earning interest on anything you can stash in there.

Yes, ultimately, account(s) in your own name it will be included in the divorce settlement. But as per PPs, by that time, you will be living independently and there may not be very much in there.

Watch out for the date on gift cards.

You're really looking for tips on hiding money during a divorce aren't you. I'm sure plenty of posters can tell what what their exes did.

When finances are looked at, you’d be expected to account for any unusual transactions or transfers, it’s far more difficult for his side to argue about amounts which appear to be ordinary spending e.g. adding cash back to the total amount at Sainsbury’s. But unless he has a lot of cashflow or never checks the accounts, it’s not going to be a sustainable way of squirrelling money long term - I’d absolutely notice if the shopping when DH did it suddenly began regularly costing £200 rather than £100 and I’d ask him what he was doing with the all the champagne he’d been buying.

If you keep it in an account you need to declare it at financial settlement, and if you’ve spent it post-separation then that could be considered when deciding how assets and capital are split; but it’s a fairly complicated area of law involving add-backs, for which conduct has to be proven for which expenditure has to be found by the court to be disproportionate and egregious. It’s unlikely that using it for bills because you can no longer rely on his income will be seen as such.

This is why courts consider intent and whether the behaviour is egregious in their decisions. Somebody removing large sums of money, hiding accounts, or making extravagant purchases in order to intentionally deprive their spouse of funds at settlement will have that behaviour addressed, with add backs as an option. A SAHP who has used small amounts of marital money as a reserve so they can make sure the household bills get paid when their ex has moved out and is no longer sharing their income is treated somewhat differently.

I'd open a second bank account and deposit some of the cash (from supermarket cash back and small withdrawals) in there AND keep some as cash. Spread the risk as much as possible. Plus gift cards but as a PP said be careful about expiry date. It's likely that you'll spend what's in the bank account between separating and settling finances in the divorce unless you manage to stash a vast amount.

I would crack on with finding paid employment and looking into what welfare benefits you’re entitled to. Squirrelling £100 here and there isn’t going to get you anywhere. What’s your plan for when you won’t have access to your husband’s salary and the joint accounts post-divorce, or even during divorce proceedings?

You’ve left it a bit late to start a rainy day fund. It’s already raining!

Go get a job. You don’t need to “figure out job options” that’s just wasting time.

I know someone who bought gift cards to build a nest egg. If h notices then it can be explained as a gift for someone.

Agree with this, how old are dc and how many do you have?
youll get uc to pay towards any out of school childcare remember.

Thank you, I have applied for several jobs.
You’re right I have left it a bit late, but like many, I never expected to be in this position.
I can only deal with what I have in front of me now.
Some PPs have kindly offered some helpful advice, which I am definitely going to start with.

Then you say you were taking it out to have savings in your own name and show them it’s now all in a different bank account? Or are you trying to hide the money during the divorce too?

This. If the courts find you have accounts that you haven’t declared, that’s fraud. Yes the fraud itself carries serious consequences but rules you out of a lot of future jobs too. I find a lot of the advice on this thread both legally and morally dubious. You could get into a LOT of trouble here.

1 DC who will start secondary school later this year, so probably a bit old for holiday clubs (and never been to them before) but too young minded to spend time home alone.

We have a joint account which we both have access to and his wages go into.
I have a few other accounts:

• my current account with £2k which has been in there like the for years (he probably thinks that account is empty)
• a joint savings which we try to put £500 a month in, but it’s currently only got £4k (that £500 comes from his monthly wages) He knows we have the account but doesn’t have access to it and doesn’t know how much is in it
• a savings account with £13k in which is “ours” for whatever needed for, but currently no intentions for. That never gets added to. That started at around £200k after I was given an insurance payout and over the years it’s been used for home improvements and holidays, all joint stuff. He knows roughly how much is in there but can’t access it

Divorce is occurring due to years of multiple infidelities on his part that I’ve recently found out about.
I was supported in being a SAHM after a serious illness after DV was born, because he’d always take care of us and I’d retrain for a new career when DC a bit older. I was happy with this, as was he.
H now seemingly isn’t interested in making sure I’m OK financially and plans to give me the bare minimum. House would have to be sold and we’d each not be able to afford much. He’d be able to get a mortgage on a cheap new place and still afford to run it and offer DC ‘extras’ that I won’t be able to afford.
I will be the main caregiver as H works full time and away a lot. He could commit to weekends and I think he will want a shared custody arrangement to minimise payments to me, but in reality wouldn’t be able to offer anything set, which would no doubt leave me picking up his slack, as obviously I would do that before I’d leave my DC with no childcare. DC is going to want to be with me as much as possible anyway, so it’s all going to be very difficult.