Language Timothy!

[ForGoldFoxy]

This has never happened to me before so I'm a bit thrown. 1 year relationship - suddenly he's unhappy with my accent and how I pronounce certain words. For context I'm a working class woman who's moved about - I've got a little bit of a northern twang but mainly southern. I used to do a fair bit of public speaking -mainly to Health Professionals - as part of my job and although I'm not half as clever as the wonderful Cathy Burke that's sort of how I sound. I can hold my own in a conversation but I never try to sound 'posh' . So if I'm working or with people I don't know well I tend to be a little more guarded in my speech - no slang, no bad language However with close friends and family when I'm relaxed I do use glottal stops and very occasionally swear - usually for comedic effect. This is what's rubbing him up the wrong way. To keep the peace in that moment (a few days ago) when he was telling me how much he's always hated my speech I agreed to try and stop using glottal stops but immediately since I've feel like I've betrayed myself. Also it's proving really difficult to change my 'at home in my comfies' voice. For example - at home I will say "a glass of wa'er" instead of water also "be'er (better) is another example and that's pretty much the extend of my transgressions and his issue. He's getting really quite angry about this which hurts a lot as my beloved Dad and my loud, funny Aunties who brought me up also speak like this. I feel really attacked and I'm not speaking to him at the moment. Thoughts please.

Ewww. Tell him to jog on, to take a salty dip in the sea and keep walking, not to be seen again. Bahhh bayyy now.

What will it be next?
Your hair?
Your clothes?
Your friends?
You are who you are

you have wasted a year, don't waste any longer.

I’d say the very definition of a prick is someone who gets angry at the way his partner (who he’s been with for a year and presumably been speaking to for a year) speaks, criticises her, makes her feel bad about her accent and tries to correct her like she’s a child. No, you can’t help being put off someone, but if you are then you behave like a grown-up and respectfully end the relationship. You don’t criticise them and try to force them to be exactly how you want them to be

he's always hated my speech

Fuck him off then. You can't spend the rest of your life having to mind the way you speak!

Exactly. The ick makes you leave.

Being an abusive twat means you pick on any random trait, behavior hair colour,weight. Literally anything. And pull your partner to bits over it.

It’s a pretty standard script

I agree with that.

He's waited a whole year to try to undermine your confidence. I suspect this is just the beginning of him finding fault.

Tell him to fuck off.

Tell him he ‘be’er’ fuck off then.

I have had many friends and colleagues tease my accent over the years, largely in an affectionate way, but I would not be ridiculed in my own home. Tell her to get lost. How dare he criticise your accent. It he doesn’t like it he knows where the door is.

Tell him to fahk right orf.

If it wasn't your accent it'd be something else.

Think this one's run it's course.

Spot on! 😂😂😂😂

And, to those calling him a prick or whatever, most of us can't help the little thing that just puts us off someone. It doesn't even need to he a fault or a problem just something that takes hold.

He's not saying it's a new development. He's claiming he's always hated the way OP talks and now, after a year, he's decided he'd like her to change it. That's the bit that makes him a prick.

Vocal fry irritates me beyond endurance but I'm not a prick so I wouldn't start a relationship with anyone whose speech featured it. I don't want to feel irritated and I have no right to dictate how anyone else talks. It's pretty simple to not behave like a prick about the way someone speaks.

I've an RP accent and people take the piss sometimes, not that I care. BUT that doesn't mean you should have to put up with him moaning about you.
Dump him as soon as yesterday just because he's a wanker.

Thank you - I know what you mean by reign it in a bit - I work for landed gentry and I do that at work but with my family I'm all in 😂 sounds like you have a genuine connection with your fella - how lovely ❤️

Tell him to fuck off .
You're you and if he can't accept it he's not the one .

Yeah we are floggin' a dead "orse I reckon. I 'ope e finds sumwun oo matches 'is 'igh standards
😂

Tell him to FACK OFF!
My wonderful wonderful nan was from saarrf London and oh how I loved hearing her speak (i'm from Yorkshire so totally different accent)

She taught me how to bake when i was 19 and I remember clear as day her saying "Here (my name) mix it don't fackin' tickle it guwl give it some grief"
Although, on a serious note if this has all of sudden started to annoy him i'd be wondering why as if you've always spoke like that, why is it now only bothering him?

There’s nothing more warm, endearing and genuine than a regional accent. I say this as someone with a very working class northern accent!! 😂
He sounds like a snob and not a nice guy, OP. Don’t let him make you feel “less than” and don’t change who you are for anyone.

You are who you are. And if he doesn’t like it then he can bugger off. Stand firm!!!

Your accent now, what next? He doesn't love you for you. Keep being yourself. Tell him you're not going to artificially change yourself to make him happy. See what he says, but I don't think there's much future here.

Tell him ‘I’m sorry you don’t like the way I speak and you hate the fact I swear. So I’ve been thinking long and hard about it and all things considered, I think you need to fuck the fuck off, you silly prick’.

Yeah I wish he'd been up front with it from the start. Your nan sounds marvelous - my aunties would tell him to "sling 'is fakin 'ook'
😂

He’s always hated your speech and he’s getting quite angry with how you speak? He needs to be out of the door - he sounds deranged.