Where do you hide your running away fund

[Somuchsugarinoneday]

If you have one?

I’m soon going to be working more hours and earning almost double what Dp does. I’m not planning to run away, but I do want to save that money and Dp is hopeless with money and it all gets frittered away somehow.
I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so. I plan to work very hard for as long as this opportunity presents itself and to save as much as possible.
I’m thinking cash in a larger envelope, but where? My thoughts are in a high up picture frame in Dd’s bedroom, but i’m not sure 🤔

Where do you hide yours, if you even do?

I was gonna say this. Me and my DH have a decent solid marriage and I have no intention of leaving. (Don't know about him!) 😬 But yeah anyway, a few times in the past, the marriage has gone through rough patches, and I have wished I could get away, and would have welcomed a get away fund.

It's a bit smug to say 'I have never needed one!' I mean, lovely for you, but there's no need to look down your nose at people who DO have a getting away fund.

Because she or her father could spend the money as they wish.

I think you really need to explain to him the importance of saving and take some of both of your money from the joint account.

Because it would belong to her, not you.

I don't really understand any of this, OP, but I would open an online bank account like Monzo or Starling and get them to send any post to your workplace.

Is there something concerning for you?

My partner has zero issue with my "running away fund" and even donated towards it 😂 to round it up to an amount where I could afford to pay expenses of properties and for the kids for 2 years. Only rule is that its untouched until its needed.

We also have properties separately and one together.

That's why I ask if there's something concerning you, that it has to be secret? Can you not discuss your fears and concerns as a female and how you'd feel safer with a running away fund?

Not really. I have other investments but was responding to the OP’s specific question which is presumably looking for an easy access low profile way to keep money.

You’re completely right. Thank you

If you want to keep it a secret, Marcus high onto account, all don't via an app on the phone, no letters or anything. I also have ISAs and an online only savings account with the same bank we have our joint account with, and my DH can't see that or access it. Premium bonds I still get letters for, but assume there's a way you can get it without any mail.

Another REALLY depressing example of how wifework/childcare/domestic duties are classed as worthless and not as important as a 'paid job.' (In the eyes of some!!!)

Absolutely unbelievable that it's 2026, and some people still have this shitty attitude! The OP spent time looking after and raising the children and brought less income home from 'a job' because of this... The children she chose to have, and her husband CHOSE to have too. He CHOSE this. As you say, he would have paid a fuck load out of his money from his big important job if he had had to pay for childcare!

.

Exactly. Men fret about the financial impact of divorce because they don’t want the indignity of living in the smaller houses or flats many women are literally dreaming of getting together enough cash to secure because they’ve scaffolded their partner’s careers for a decade.

I have an isa with £20 000 every year solely in name and so does husband and every child over 18. Solely in my name and solely in his name. I could walk tomorrow and pay upfront for a years rent as could he.

Nationwide does online accounts only w a decent interest rate. No statements etc in the post.
I have a few (not running away fund _ we just have a jo8nt a/c elsewhere which we both pay into. My money in excess of that are mine, and his money”s his)

or a GBP Wise account. No statements either.

Open a Monzo or Revolut account - they also do savings accounts and ISAs. Get your salary paid there and transfer however much of it you don't want to save into your joint account each month. That way he will not know how much you are earning and how much you have squirrelled away. It can still look like you've had a pay rise but you don't have to own up to all of it.

This is concerning, especially as he has a child that isn't yours, so this is not a fresh relationship straight out of high school.

How do you not have an individual account?

How do you not know that you can have paperless banking; when most organisations are begging customers to go paperless?

I have a joint account with my daughter that shows on both our apps, but the single name accounts only show in our individual apps.

For your peace of mind, just open an account with a separate bank, in your name only and opt for paperless everything.

Money in envelopes and threadbags was my grandmother's days. I don't even think that's safe anymore, especially in a complicated relationship.

I believe that in the uk the bank is required to send a summary by post once a year. Might be worth checking.

If you need a running away fund you should have already ran surely?

I always had a slush fund but never in cash. If haven’t already, open your own bank account as long as you DH can’t see your main bank statements for income and transfers.

You need a total reset of your money. Use the new job as the reason.

You need a personal current account and so does he, one each, for your own spending money.
You then need a joint account you both put an agreed amount ( you lie about your income here ) . This could be 50:50 of agreed joint expenses. Or proportional to your incomes.
You then set up a saving account or two with a new bank, and transfer money. You may need a current account too, but this is easy to do. If you access this via a website rather than an app, it won’t show up on your phone.
You need a saving account for your taxes and a saving account for your running away fund.

This is what we do, and we have accounts with four banks to get good rates, and so that at least one will survive a cyber attack.

Your bank may have a team that specialised in financial abuse etc. They will be able to help you set up and account

Yep!

??? Eh?

Just open an online account (Starlink is great).
All done online. Easy agd straight forward. No one needs to know.
Statements are online
The only person who has access is you.
If the situation is complicated, you could have your wage going into your account and you then move whatever is agreed on the joint account.

fwiw if you have to hide money to be able to pay for health expenses, then you have a big issue….

Leaving cash around even in a hidden place isn't wise. If it gets pinched what then?

Just open an instant access ISA? You can do one online so nothing about it much would ever come through the post?

If you really want to have post sent somewhere different I think you can have a PO box no and it gets sent to a locker or something?

If you go to HSBC, they can talk you through setting up separate finances on the quiet. They had a brief advertising campaign about it a few years back.

Agree cash is bonkers but couldn't help contemplating places to hide cash:
In a deep part of the attic
In the pockets of a coat in your wardrobe
In the hood of a coat in your wardrobe
In the hoover
Between pages of books
In the top of the piano
Under the spare wheel in the car

Where else?

Under the carpet in the airing cupboard but the plumber found it!