& the boys

[No1YouKnow]

Ok, this got me thinking over Christmas and really irritated me so I’m interested to know what other people think!

I have three children - all boys - and lots of people sent cards to me, DH & ‘the boys’. If they used their nicknames (which they are usually referred to as, shortened version of their name) it would literally be 4 characters extra to ensure every name was wrote.

It’s SO annoying! I can’t really articulate why, just feels like they aren’t being addressed but lumped into a group.

If you have ‘girls’ do you have the same thing? Is this a 3+ children matter?

This is quite lighthearted, I mean I’d never say anything & I’m not sat seething about it, just pondering whether I am being unreasonable to be highly irritated & wishing people would write their names…

Honestly get a grip. Total non issue.

My cards are sent to x and family. Who cares? People glance at cards and then throw them after Xmas.

I have three boys. And they kind of are a large undifferentiated mass of loud, stereotypical, ricocheting-off-everything-and-each-other mass of Boy™️, in a way that my friends daughters are not 🤷🏼‍♀️
So I would not disagree with this form of address. It’s like having spaniels.

I do that, but you must know that (writing them in address book) but most people aren't that organised.
the stalking Facebook thing is ridiculous. It would take forever if you had to do that for a few families.

I work on the principle if I can't remember their names, I don't really have a relationship with the offspring, so a general 'and family' is fine.

Sometimes I put "and all the gang" when signing cards from us. My dc are adults (should I still include them when sending a card to a friend of mine who I've known for years ? Do I add on their partners ? Do I leave them off? Do I include the one that lives at home but not the others ?).

YABU to see this as an issue at all.

Many years ago, we'd get a Christmas card from a friend and it'd say 'from X, and all the little monsters'. meaning her four kids. I thought it was hilarious.

We're in our 50s and we're still referred to as the girls by my aunts and uncles 😆

I have two boys and I couldn’t care less

I have sons too ang get this occasionally. It doesn't bother them or me in the slightest. What a weird thing to get worked up about

My sisters and I are still “the girls” in our 50s

if you are writing Xmas cards then it’s time saving!
I don’t know what to call my DS and DD now they are grown up as a collective - they are no longer “the kids”

I have 5 boys and always signed cards from me DH and the boys! It's just quicker than writing out all their names!

Who cares.

When I did cards I used to do from strongle and family to you and family

I wasn't aware I was being offensive. I’m glad I don’t send cards any more.

I sometimes write names, sometimes write &boys / &girls / &family. Depends what I can be bothered with. I often receive cards addressed to Silver Pink & girls. It honestly doesn’t bother me. I’m struggling to understand why it would bother anyone, maybe that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have four sons and had this all the time as they were growing up. I never gave it a lot of thought and it didn't bother me or them.

I dont see the issue - we get & family as have both boys and girls - who cares! I dont send cards bc i cba to write them,surely you have bigger issuesthan this??

I have four girls who are almost always referred to by family and friends as “the girls” (“How are the girls?)

and by myself tbh - “girls, dinner’s ready” “girls, time to get up” “GIRLS!! Who’s killing who up there?”

Because it’s completely unimportant.

'And family' doesn't bother me but what does frustrate me is people who spell my name incorrectly in an email when clearly my name is in my email address as well as when I sign off.
It's Al, not El!!!! Nitwits

YABU I wouldn't be bothered by it

But i have 3 girls and a boy. My youngest absolutely HATES being referred to as a girl or one of the "girls" even though i do it anyway when shes not around

Ha ha

My parents did get “Mum, Dsd, Gertrude and the boys” - I’m the only girl and have two younger brothers! 😂

I laugh but I absolutely hated it if anyone ever called the three of us “the children/ kids”

I think, speaking from experience, it’s due to having to write out loads of cards, which in itself is a pain, but has to be done, so the shorter the better, but also, forgetting the children’s names if you don’t know them well, if at all.

Absolutely could not find it in myself to get annoyed about this. Such a non issue. It’s the same as ‘and family’ or ‘and the kids’, it’s not the most personal I guess but at least they made the effort to send a card!

I have girls and they do get referred to as "the girls" (also as "the twins"). We also all get referred to as the "Bloomers Family". Agree that many of those that do the "the girls" or "the twins" just can't remember both kids' names. It's not normally family but people who are either my or DH's friends and have probably met "the girls" less than a couple of times a year over the course of their lives. I can't remember their kids' names either, so I totally get why they do it.

Family should definitely use their full names but anyone else “& boys” is fine. Remember people are sending more than your Christmas card.

Eh?
since my childhood my mum has recieved cards with “and the girls” written on them

its really really not a big deal,