Nanny additional holidays

[Thingything]

Hoping for a sense check on this one.

Husband and I both work full time and kids have SEN so can’t do after school clubs (special school doesn’t have them) or holiday camps so we’ve always had to employ a nanny. We always have good relationships with them, and have them basically on a full time contract with 25 days paid holiday etc. During term time when kids are in school they get lots of free time and then in holidays its full on.

All of our nannies have been childfree and so tend to use their annual leave days in termtime when travel is cheaper. That’s actually good for us as we don’t need to take time off work to cover - we just make it work with pick ups from school taking turns and logging on in the evening etc.

The AIBU is this. We take our holidays in the school holidays, which means our nannies always get way more annual leave effectively than their contracts allow. Because they take their days in termtime (which is good for us anyway because if they took it in school hols at a time we weren’t going away we’d have to take leave to stay home with kids) and then we take our holidays in the school holidays. Well, some school holidays - kids get 20 weeks a year of school hols and we have 5 weeks from our employers.

Every holiday, this drives my husband nuts that we are going away and paying someone to not work. He always tries to devise tasks like getting the nanny to come in and sort out kids’ toys or uniform or whatnot whilst we’re away to make the most of the fact we’re paying them. I think this is petty and ridiculous and if we want to go away we just suck it up. It’s fine, we’re paying anyway regardless whats the drama, and extra holidays is kind of one of the perks of being a SEN nanny which is a hard job.

He thinks I’m a pushover and always too worried about upsetting people.

AIBU?

If you are organised enough to book your holidays a lot in advance than it may work. Igad family in the past that told me in January all the holidays for the year and i was able to book mine at the same time, no issue there, but some families were very last minute with everything and its not easy for me and my partner to book something last minute.

How hard is it to get a nanny with good sen experience. Ive never had a nanny or been a nanny but if an employer told me when I needed to take holiday I'd look for another job. Surely this is negotiable when you employ someone not afterwards.

milkmonster654 we get cover for when our nanny travels. Sometimes my parents come to stay, sometimes we buy in the support. It's not practical for us all to be off at the same time.

So you want to upset her pee her off so she leaves? This is what happens when employers take the mick you loose a good worker. By all means get her to come in do a day to sort the kids rooms but unfortunately it’s just part and parcel unless you pay for her ticket and accommodation and take her with you?

Also if you’re paying a nursery you’d be paying 52 weeks anyway!

And one of husband’s suggestions is we just don’t go on holiday to make sure we are making the most of paid childcare which seems bizzarre and cutting-nose-off territory.

This is insane! Tell him to give his head a wobble 🤣

If he’s that bothered about it he could pay to take her on holiday with you!

It’s a bit inevitable unfortunately - our nanny gets 10+ weeks of holidays as we go away a lot.

The only way to avoid this is to ask/ make nanny travel with you on holidays in my experience. I know people who sub-contract their (mostly Filipino) nannies during their holidays when the allowance is exceeded but I that’s probably borderline illegal.

When I was a nanny I often had 10+ weeks paid holiday

they went away 2w Easter and summer and never worked Xmas week - plus most half terms they went away and then my 2w choice

I never had to go in and do jobs. So they were similar to your way of thinking

equally friends have had to go in and work literally 10hrs every day sorting out clothes - batch cooking - playroom sorting etc - like your dh feels

having extra paid holiday is a perk and you sound lovely @Thingything and esp as you said kids are sen so when working full on

Trying to see it from your DH pov - I think an important factor is that you are employing a FT nanny when your kids are at school. So from your husband’s perspective you are already paying her for a lot of hours of doing not much (except toy sorting etc) during term time. Given this, to pay her to do nothing in holiday time may feel like the last straw. It would be different if (like some PPs’ nannies) she was looking after toddlers all day.

If he feels you’re paying too much, the solution absolutely isn’t to get her to come in and do tasks while you’re away though. That’s just petty. Instead, I would see if she is willing to reduce her hours in term time, or accept some unpaid leave, or accept that she needs to take her holidays when you do. She’s not obliged to agree to any of these though.

It doesn’t sound like your DH actually wants to pay less though? More that he just doesn’t want her to have paid time off? Which definitely sounds petty.

TBH, when we went away we still paid the nursery every though our kid wasn't there. We also still paid them even if kid came home early or had days off due to illness. We were paying for the place. So I don't think it's specific to having a nanny rather than other types of childcare.

If you rent, you don't get to not pay the landlord a full month just because you aren't "living there" for the whole of July or what have you. It's not exactly the same, but that's how I think of it. Sometimes stuff still needs paying for even if I'm not using it.

Yes!

Echo yourself and others, but also I view 25 days off as being at the lower end of annual leave allowance for many employers these days. My employer for example gives 31 days with an additional 5 after 5 years continuous service, so you could reframe the holiday amount if that makes it easier for your husband to swallow!

What? Outside the civil service, that is extremely rare. 25 days plus bank holidays is max I have ever had in 18 years of employment in the private sector.

I work for a French company and we get 6 weeks plus BH but we are an outlier compared to our competitors

The situation you describe is really common. I think it's ok to ask her to come in and tidy the toys or whatever for a day or two if they actually need doing but beyond that it's really petty. She is entitled to X days of her own choice and the fact that you don't need her for additional days of your choice isn't relevant.

Part and parcel of employing a FT nanny. Mine used to go to the gym for 2 hours a day when the kids were at school (with my agreement).

The alternative is to have more of a patchwork- someone to drop off in the morning during school terms, someone to do after school, someone doing holidays- it can work out cheaper but it's stressful and complicated. There are also nanny agencies that specialise in more flexible options- I have a friend who is an actress and is either working long hours for months or isn't working at all for months and she uses a specialist agency aimed at theatre people where all the nannies are happy to do long hours and short contracts. Something like that might mean you could have shorter contracts and avoid paying for long periods when you are away, but of course the greater flexibility comes at a price so you might not save overall.

Take your nanny on some of the holidays to
help with the childcare. Sure your hubby will
prefer to give them the week off then foot the extra cost of holiday!

Anyone working in (or connected to) a school does get 100% of their holidays dictated to them, any time taken off during term time is without pay.

We had a nanny for 6 years. For the first 4 years she would come on holidays with us. We have family abroad so we always went there for holidays, she would sleep in the kids’ room and she would work her normal contracted hours. We would cover her meals.

Would you pay her extra for going on holiday?

Where did she go for downtime and rest outside her contracted hours, if she was sharing the kids room?

People who intend to work in school surely realise this? Plus teachers holidays are longer then average so no point comparing nanning to teaching.

Yes they do realise this but surely if you're a nanny to school age children you would expect to take at least some of your time off during school holidays when the family go away and if you use all your holidays before they go away you either work the time (sorting out toys, clothes etc for the children) or you take time off without pay. School workers have their salary worked out for the hours they're contracted + standard amount of holiday allowance (they're not paid for all the school holidays)

No thats not really the case unless the contract specifically says that the nanny is required to take holidays at specific time. Personally this would be a dealbreaker for me as going anywhere in school holidays is expensive. Although i would be happy to do some jobs around the house if we went over the holiday allowance

Have you considered taking your nanny on some of these holidays as a working holiday for her so that you have some adult time in the evenings and an extra pair of hands? Yes it will cost more but if you're paying for her time anyway AND she's actually working, what's not to like?