Is this normal at nursery or are they not looking after DD?

[Ye100]

DD recently started to get it with potty training. She’s 3. Nursery tell me she will do a poo in the potty or in the little toilets and always seem really happy with her progress. But every day her underwear is soiled! Not a tiny bit but most of the underside to her pants. Is this just usual
for toddlers? Also, should she be wiping herself or should they be doing it? They claim to do it but then DD sometimes says things that suggest she’s been doing it. First time mum and single parent so I appreciate any words of wisdom!

Take it up with the government 😂

Talk to them. I work in this area but in a preschool room where the children are 3, the criteria is they need to be toilet trained before they arrive. The children toilet independently and we don't go in with them unless they call for help. We dont check their underwear. It's different if they are involved in the toilet training process, in that case they should be supervising her wiping, not wiping for her as she needs to learn. Either way you need to talk to them, you have to find out what's going on. It could also be a sign of a slight incontinence that could be a medical issue where people leak a little after wiping.

My son used to have a bit a problem with consistency. He could wipe fine but then always came home with marks on his underwear. Poor child just had a leaky bum which he did grow out of.

Yes it is. If depends on the service but I'm not in UK and work in a government 3 hour funded service. I work 1:11, so 2 adults to 22 children aged 3 and 4. If I am in the toilet wiping a bum in the morning my colleague is at 1:21. Imagine minding 21 little children. Now imagine if every one of those kids goes to the toilet at some stage and is fully supervised, one person is 1:21 for a very long period. So no, we don't accompany kids to the toilet or know who did a poo unless we are called and asked to help. The reality is no parent wants their child to spend their day as one of 21 with 1 adult so they shouldn't expect their child to be fully supervised in the toilet either. The ratios are shocking.

Is it definitely from not wiping properly? At that age my DD often had messy knickers, but it was because of constipation, even though she was still seemed to be ‘regular’. She was also completely unaware of it happening. It was often more of a problem during the day than in evening or at night. I would raise it at nursery in a non-accusatory way and see if it still occurring frequently even with an eye being kept on it.

As a nursery worker, I would be mortified to learn your child is coming home soiled. Please do tell them, as I assume they will want to do anything they can to help. If there is a rough time she would normally go for a poo, ask them to accompany her in for a check around that time, and also reinforce that she tell an adult if she needs a poo so they can support.

With regard to when they should be capable of wiping, I have worked with upper primary school kids who poo and run because they are so keen to get back to their games/friends, regardless of what they do when at home! Persevere, she'll get there 😊

Where I live, the required ratio is 1:4 for babies, 1:8 for 2 year olds, and 1:10 for 3 and 4 year olds, in daycare (full day program).

There are also maximum group sizes - the maximum group size for 3 year olds and 4 year olds is 20. For 2 year olds, the maximum group size is 16.

Rooms, apart from baby rooms, are required to have bathrooms and children must be supervised in the bathrooms at all times. Teachers can be in the bathroom and also looking into the classroom.

Preschool/ part time programs have different regs.

I as a nursery practitioner will always offer to check them even if they say they can do it themselves. but most children will ask for help if they need it. If she is going in a toilet cubicle and able to fully independently accsess the toilet is it maybe she is not saying that she needs wiping and just pulling her pants up. Maybe mention to the nursery to check with her. Don't know what the toilet lay out is but where I work we have to go out of the room to the corridor to acsess the toilets so someone is always there.