Did you wear a full dress with train for your second wedding or go for something different? Are there rules on this??

[weddingsbluesandhues]

Should you go for a different colour scheme to your or your fiancés first wedding? Should it be totally different or are similarities ok? Would you be worried that guests on his side might compare your wedding to his first? Would you go all out or keep it simpler?
What’s the done thing?

I’m not getting married btw. It just came up in conversation the other day and got me wondering. If I were to get married a second time I’d probably go for totally different. I wouldn’t feel right in a dress similar to my first.

I had a small quiet first wedding. My second wedding was in a castle with horse drawn carriages and we had a medieval banqueting hall for reception and 90 guests. I wore an ivory wedding dress, headdress and long trailing veil. It was DH only wedding and we felt he shouldn't miss out because I had been married before. Second marriage now 21 years and going strong.

But they have exactly the same purpose as first marriages, to provide certain legal and social protections to both spouses, as well as being a declaration of commitment.

Got married first at 20, cathedral length train, full church and naice hotel day.

Got married again at 28, did it am very differently but still had a proper wedding dress and veil.

My second was dh’s first, and we were still on the youngish side. I feel like if I’d got married again in my late 30s or early 40s as I am now and it was dh’s second go, I would have chosen differently.

I had a full white dress and cathedral length veil first time around when I was very young. Second time in my late 40s I had a long dress made in silvery grey silk and wore a matching feather headband with a birdcage veil. The dressmaker talked me into a small puddle train.

Some people will judge whatever you do so you may as well make choices you are comfortable with.

Well I figure what you choose to wear would reflect your feelings on it being a second marriage.

We are indeed, and my personal opinion is that saying “you don’t believe in second marriages” — on a thread about what to wear at a second marriage – is judgemental. And dickish. HTH.

I’ve been married twice. If current husband dies I don’t think I’ll marry again. Not because I don’t believe in multiple marriages just because I can’t imagine being arsed. Or finding the right shoes for the do.

I wore a tea-length cream dress for my second wedding, no veil but very definitely a wedding dress.

It would be weird if it was the same venue, format, style and music as the first wedding but TBH I think only you would notice. No one is going to remember unless they look back at old photos and/or have an excellent memory.

Wear and do whatever you like. It's the 21st century.

How were you able to have a second marriage in a church, do some allow it? We were not allowed to marry in the Catholic Church because my husband had previously been married in a C of E church. I chose not to put everyone through the rigmarole of getting that annulled….

I wore jeans, a t-shirt, trainers for my second wedding. Cost nothing apart from the registrar's fee. It honestly felt so much better than the big white dress that I spent a fortune on first time round!

With hindsight, I don’t believe in my first marriage.

Well, catholics can remarry if the first marriage is annulled or one person dies. I think that United Reform churches will hold weddings too, friends of ours were married in a United Reform church and one of the couple was divorced.

Absolutely no rules on this and you should do whatever makes you happy! If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, ignore them! Good luck and have a wonderful wedding!

Lovely calf length beaded dress from Phase Eight (in the days when Ph8 were good!) Beige under dress, cream lace on top. Fantastic. But that was as much to do with my age (50) and the size of the event - 6 people.

White wedding first time. Second was a dark green dress to my knee.

My friend did. Although I can't remember how full the train was. But a definite white wedding type dress. In a church. She'd had a much smaller affair first time and I wondered if this was the wedding she really wanted first time (crappy first husband) so was glad for her if so.

Any suggestion as to what women ‘should ‘ do amongst the patriarchal shit show of ‘tradition’ wrt marriage customs envelopes me in red mist.

I wore a long pale pink dress from John Lewis with a sequin top half and tulle bottom half. I bloody loved it and would wear it again if it fitted but it’s too big for me now (Mounjaro) and the plan was to get some of the length chopped off so I could wear it as a “going out” dress but like I say, too big now. I say, wear whatever makes you feel fabulous.

I'd wear whatever you like. I mean. it would be slightly odd if it was a carbon copy of your first dress or colour scheme but in general I don't think there are any rules.

For me personally, if I do it again, I would wear a slimmer fitting dress and with straps/sleeves (first time was strapless) but probably still full length and would go white/ivory (first time was a pale gold colour).

Honestly, the only ‘rule’ is don’t recreate something that doesn’t feel like you anymore. Second time round usually means you know yourself better, care less about what people think, and have zero appetite for doing things just because that’s what you’re meant to do.

Full dress and train? Abso-flipping-lutely if it makes you feel amazing.
Short dress / suit / jumpsuit / something completely different? Yes, yes and yes.
Same with colour schemes, go with what you love, it’s a different chapter. It can look however you want it to look.
And if guests are comparing… that’s a them problem, not a you problem. Most people are just happy to see the two of you happy.

Second weddings are often better. Less theatre, more actual personality.

A good philosophy for life, not just dresses ☺️

I'd love to wear the same dress again, but as I'm twice the size as young me, it would be a bit too eye-catching in all the wrong ways...

Silver hot pants and white leather chaps.
And sod the veil; it would only get caught in the spurs on my cowboy boots.