To ask though I probably know the answer

[Whyohwhy88]

I used to talk to this guy we meet on some app at the time called “Ki he was three year younger I was 17 when we started talking obviously nothing sexual was talked about due to the age gap at that time. Fast forward a few years and our last messages to each other was 2023. He’s now deleted me from Facebook so I guess that’s a certain he wants nothing to do with me. I did think about him in that time but just had so much other stuff going on and didn’t message neither did he he mind. I’m tempted to message him for clousure but I guess deep down it’s not right. Forgot to say they had been light flirting over the years but never meet in person mainly to do with ne

You were kids. It was an online friendship. He’s probably now moved on with a real in life relationship and removed you from Facebook as a way of cleaning out the past ready for his future. I wouldn’t be thinking too much into it and I would suggest you too focus on real life relationships rather than online ones.

It was random talk kind of thing I didn’t know he was 14 for while due to the nature of the site the likelihood is he was talking to people a lot older. 17 is still young and like I said I wasn’t being sexual

Closure on what? Nothing happened, get on with your life and leave this person alone

He was a good friend at a point of my life where I had no friends due to autism

You're getting some harsh responses OP. I will admit the age thing is slightly weird but I understand your position. I had some wonderful online friends (mainly male) from a similar age well into my 20s. Like you I would sometimes talk to them daily. But life just drifted us apart and phone numbers changed, FB accounts got deleted. There's definitely a couple of people I wish I could have said goodbye to but I think you'll just have to accept people change and move on and you can't always have closure.

Him probably taking to someone older doesn't make what you did any better tbh.

He probably has a child now and is realising a lot of things that happened when he was a young teen were inappropriate, at best, and is removing that toxicity from his life.

His deleting you is your closure.

Right this is why you want closure then. Because you were a vulnerable autistic child and he was your social circle. You were perhaps less mature than your peers also so it felt more normal than it was.

Here are some facts though - when someone deletes you from social media it generally means they don’t consider you a friend anymore and don’t want to interact. He has moved on. He no longer wishes to be friends with you.

Therefore: Respect their wishes and leave them alone.

He seems to have deleted lots of people only has 28 friends and pretty sure he used to have over 100. People are making out like I was sending explicit pictures or asking for them it’s actually quite harsh.

But now he isn’t, and that’s a good thing because it was an inappropriate friendship at the start due to his age. So move on

He’s moved on in life OP, it happens.

You need to move on too.

This was just an online friendship, it’s over, that’s it- that is your closure.

How old are you? How many years we talking?

In 3 years you havent spoken to him, so why would you want to now? Sounds like your ego is just put of joint because he tidied up his FB friends and you werent that special. Let it go

Depends when the flirting started

Technically you are stalking him. Leave it be and move on with your life. People close down their accounts, it is their right.

He outgrew you and the app. Move on.

Why? Leave him be. He used to have over 100 friends, he now has less than 30. His choice. He hasnt snubbed you specifically, hes just decided to exist in a smaller social circle online.

Your autism is the thing here. NT people make and break connections constantly. ND people tend to analyse and overthink things like this. In this situation you need to let a connection that never amounted to anything disappear.

If the age difference was the other way round then it would have been called grooming so it is a bit weird. I think you should leave it OP and look forward not back I get it though if things are not great for you at the moment

As you get older you generally see that the multiple 'friends' you have on Facebook count for nothing in real life. Most people realise that, in a real crisis, 2 people out of the 100 would actually be there for them. He has probably looked at the list and deleted all the people he hasn't had any contact with for years and has no intention of contacting again.It is no deeper than that.

Clearly you don't realise how inappropriate it was - but the fact that you weren't being sexual with the 14 year old doesn't mean it was OK.

I agree with a pp - I think he's possibly reached an age where he's realised just how odd and inappropriate it was which is totally normal.

When I was (just) 16 I went on several dates with a 29 year old. Obviously I thought this was totally fine, at the time and for many years after. It wasn't until I was 31 and randomly bumped into him and 'realised' he was in his mid 40's that it truly struck me how bloody weird it had been. It took me all those years to realise.

Bit of a difference compared to three years and over ten. I also had no intention of romantic relationship

OP from one autistic woman to another, you need to stop stalking him and move on. This is a classic rumination loop. I know it, you know it. Switch your attention to something else. Exercising helps me. Or petting my cat. Or calling a real life friend.
It doesn't matter what happened, when and at what age. It's done. Move on.

The thing is you keep ruminating and contradicting what youve said.

1. I was 17 he was 14 so it wasnt sexual v it was flirty

1. I had stuff going on and was too busy to message for 2+ years v had enough time to notice you were blocked on FB and checked how many friends and pictures he kept

1. It was flirty v no intention of a relationship

Saying youre upset because you used to message daily when neither of you bothered for around 3 years. If he hadnt deleted you, you would still be not messaging him. So let it go

When we we olde rot was flirty as in he was over 20.

This,