Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

Exactly.

Wouldn't be any good for me either as I'm vegetarian and allergic to cucumber! But even without allergies to consider, that's a very poor offering for vegetarians. To be honest though, this is why I would never go for afternoon tea, I've never seen one with a menu that would suit me.

Premier Inn perhaps 😏

I’ve googled a couple of random good hotels (not in London) and they offer vegetarian/vegan alternatives. Why OP chose a place that doesn’t is anyone’s guess.

Did you ring them and say "we have 1 vegetarian, can you cater for her?" Or did you say "1 of our party will only eat plain cheese sandwiches so can you make those?"

And, no, you absolutely cannot open up your tupperware 🤣

I don't like smoked salmon or egg and lots of afternoon tea places include these. I just either forgo all the sandwiches or eat the one triangle I like and focus on the cakes. It's all about the cake really anyway 🤣

I think they are unreasonable in not catering for a few cheese sandwiches when they actually have them on the children's menu. It's not as if they never have cheese in the kitchen and have to specially get in in. I am surprised they will not accommodate this when you have asked in advance. Afternoon teas are not cheap and I would think a request like this, requested in advance wouldn't be a hardship.

TBH I find Afternoon tea a bit of a pain anyway.Somewhere between lunch and Dinner ! Anyway I think YABU. The Hotel has a menu that includes cream cheese and cucumber ,Thats fine .My friend is also veggie and would just pass on what she doesnt like.I think friend is being a little fussy.There are usually pastries and cakes. Surely thats enough anyway .With lashings of tea to wash it down of course!

Quite.

Some restaurants would not allow outside food to be brought in on health and safety grounds. If you brought in something undercooked it might bring Salmonella or Norovirus which be attributed to the restaurant and in any case maybe passed on.

The problem is, they don't offer 'bespoke' afternoon teas so you can't blame them for not giving you something they never promised. Yes it's only 'a few slices of cheese' but if they have hundreds of people coming through in a day (if it's one of the big London hotels, that will be the case) and everyone wants their own unique variant, it's going to take way longer to prepare and the cost will increase significantly. It sounds like afternoon tea will be wasted on this person. Also, sneaking in your own food is likely to get you kicked out. And I don't see why punishing the waiting staff by not tipping is going to achieve anything. Your waiter/waitress had nothing to do with the decision about cheese sandwiches.

I think it can even affect their licence if you bring in your own food

It's certainly impolite and rude and could get you thrown out

I went with friends for afternoon tea to celebrate a birthday recently. One was vegan, one was pescatarian and one hates mayo! Then there was the tea order. One wanted Earl grey, one just hot water with the tea bag on the side for her to dunk, and one wanted coke instead. The patient waiter noted all of the above and agreed to it all except the mayo free sandwiches as they were pre-prepared. As they were carrying in the trays they dropped two on the floor and smashed them. When they brought the replacements magically they had managed to make some mayo free sandwiches!
I was so embarrassed at being part of such a high maintenance group when I am happy with builders tea and anything I am given. We left a big tip! I’m sure this fussy approach is a recent thing as I don’t remember my mother or grandmother ever fretting about fillings. There did used to be a tea menu though, with Darjeeling or Lapsang or Lady grey. Perhaps it is about profit margins.

I don't know about a joke, but it sure ain't chic! 😂

Honestly, can she not just have a few scones?

I think not providing sufficient vegetarian options is both surprising and disappointing - it's really unusual for venues to only have one veggie dish on a menu. I absolutely hate cucumber so wouldn't like that being my only savoury option. I really don't think you can bring your own food though, I'd be looking for somewhere else to go.

I’m sure this fussy approach is a recent thing as I don’t remember my mother or grandmother ever fretting about fillings.

Absolutely it is. I actually hope it is just a fad.

ETA I think some people feel it demonstrates how switched on and effective they are.

They've warned you in advance that they are unable to accomodate your request, so I think it's a little unfair not leave a tip (if tipping is standard for you and the service on the day is excellent). I think it's fair to state on a review that they were unable to accomodate a special request or show flexibility re the afternoon tea menu.

Are you going to a hotel? Most offer several afternoon tea menus, including a simple version of just scones and tea. Would it be an option for your friend to choose this? Or could you all just order a variety of sweet and savoury dishes from the à la carte menu to share? It's really not appropriate for your friend to take her own food to a restaurant. If you're both unhappy with what's on offer, why not choose an alternative venue?

And stop saying fussy. She's a vegetarian

She's a vegetarian AND she's fussy. If she literally only eats ONE type of sandwich filling, out of the countless other non-meat things you can put into a sandwich, she is really bloody fussy.

Most places provide a whole afternoon tea that is completely vegetarian and includes several different types of vegetarian sandwich. That is what a non-fussy vegetarian would order, rather than insisting that the only thing they can have in a sandwich is cheese.

Any 'prestige' hotel can offer a fully vegetarian afternoon tea, and probably also a vegan one.

I would imagine the hotel do not want pics on social media of something looking like it’s out of a school lunch box on a hopefully beautifully arranged stand of sandwiches and cakes.

Where are you eating that they don’t make their sandwiches fresh on the premises each day??? 😱

If anyone tried that here in Ireland, they’d be out of business in a jiffy.

Even our rural petrol stations have proper deli counters where food is freshly cooked and prepared.

That is what a non-fussy vegetarian would order, rather than insisting that the only thing they can have in a sandwich is cheese.

Exactly.

And I agree, why not just get the cream tea bit? I quite often do that as the full teas are huge. She can always have a cheese sandwich at home first if she really can't make it through an afternoon on scones, cream and tea.

A hotel afternoon tea is really designed as a social crutch to facilitate spending time together chatting. There are various things to pick at, usually several fillings of sandwiches or types of cake, in a communal presentation so that people can have as much or as little as they like while sitting chatting.

If you really don't like bits of it, just have the other bits.

I think they do make them the night before, or early on the day, then they are refrigerated for several hours. That's why the bread always has that slightly different texture.

I don't think many establishments are wildly cutting piles of sandwiches at 3pm.

Oh stop it and get off your high horse. Your comments are bat---- nasty and ridiculous.

They really aren't

The idea that anywhere "prestige" in this day and age only offers cream cheese sandwiches for veggies and no vegan options at all is quite unbelievable

There isn't one. I've just checked. Seriously. I've read it three times. There's a range of sandwiches for meat eaters, three different choices, but only cream cheese and cucumber for vegetarians. None of that is vegan. Which isn't relevant to us but will be for others. So those fusspots who don't like cream cheese are stuffed!

Easily solved. Don’t go. Go somewhere else that has cheese sandwiches/vegan stuff/whatever on their menu so you won’t need to be entitled and have them adjust their menu for people who don’t like things/have certain diets/have allergies.

I do get their stance as where does it end once they start agreeing to fussy people. Sally doesn’t want the cucumber sandwiches but wants her portion swapped out for cheese. Gloria doesn’t like scones, so you want 2 scones swapped out for 4 macaroons. The cheese sandwiches is just the start of a slippery slope. Much better for them to refuse and you book with someone who has cheese sandwiches/vegan/gluten free/whatever the problem is on their menu. That’s the beauty of many different eateries with different menu’s, you go where the menu matches what people WILL eat, vs having restaurants build menu’s around individuals, and realistically, it’s all a choice, no one is forced to go anywhere.