Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

Sorry, missed that.

It’s very much not okay to lie about having an allergy.

DC has food allergies/anaphylaxis and it’s really upsetting that people do this. He is less safe as a result because restaurants sometimes only half believe him re the allergies. And that’s a direct consequence of others lying about having them.

Somehow, I don't think this hotel was The Ritz.

The Ritz has the staff and the budget to do anything its clients want.

But he’d manage to knock up a cheese sandwich I’m sure.

It shouldn’t have to take an allergy or food intolerance for this simple sandwich but if that’s what the customer has to say to be able to get it, then so be it! That’s on the facility.

Probably not the Ritz but OP did say it was a prestige hotel that charged a lot.

No, not so be it!!!!
And it’s on liars when they lie.

Agreed!

The facility should be able to knock-up a cheese sandwich if asked, it shouldn’t have to take the customer to lie to be able to get it. If it not possible for anyone, that’s a different story.

Yes, but the OP's attitude and expectations suggest she may not be a totally reliable witness.

One person's prestige hotel is another person's four-star chain.

What about the attitude of being annoyed that a place lied to get a booking, then changed it later in the hope it was inconvenient to change and so they would still get the money, suggests anything negative about the OP?

Hilarious, Judge Judy.

That’s not what the OP said though, she specifically said that the friend only eats sandwiches that are cheese. If the other sandwiches are also not suitable for her ladyship then she can jog on - this person is a pain in the arse and I wouldn’t be going to all this effort to accommodate someone who thinks she’s special.

Or the customer could order something that is not part of a set menu so they have more choice.

The only thing on offer at this hotel is presumably not afternoon tea.

Op and her friends have chosen to go to a place that does not meet the vegetarian needs of one of the guests...logic would say 1) ask if changes can be made 2)when told no due to set afternoon tea menu, guest who wants the change either orders something else off the menu or the party chooses to dine elsewhere

No making up allergies needed.

I would…

And has a vegetarian menu…

OP still hasn’t actually clarified (I think) if there is literally no vegetarian option other than paying for the full afternoon tea and leaving the meat sandwiches OR if there is a vegetarian tea option but her friend just doesn’t like the fillings (egg mayo, med veg and hummus etc) and wants them swapped out corn just cheese.

Sorry - hit send too soon!

Either way - it’s clearly not suitable for friend when they’ve been to places before in the past that are so why is all this difficulty needed! Just go where you know she’ll be catered for/somewhere with a vegetarian menu for your vegetarian friend.

OP clarified in a later post that her friend was vegetarian.
“And stop saying fussy. She's a vegetarian.”

😂

Yes, these are reasonable options too.

There's none of those options. It's cream cheese and cucumber or nothing if you're not a meat eater. They've confirmed this.

She had read the menus online and saw that cheese sandwiches were standard on the children’s menu. So perhaps that’s why she only asked for cheese?

But the OP can clarify if she wishes.

This is exactly what’s wrong with the hotel’s attitude, the assumption that because a person is vegetarian, they will automatically like cheese - all cheese and every cheese, served with anything.

Imagine saying this to a meat-eater:

“What do you mean you don’t like liver? You’re a meat eater aren’t you?”

Reply: “yes, but I dislike liver.”

Would you call the liver-hater a fussy eater? I wouldn’t.

I’m not a vegetarian. I love most cheeses, but I don’t happen to like cream cheese. Does that make me a fusspot?

It’s the attitude that if someone has the audacity to be a vegetarian, then they should count themselves lucky to get anything at all. But vegetarianism has been around for a long time, it’s not particularly unusual, and I would have thought that people, especially catering establishments, would understand this.

(To be fair on contemporary hotels and restaurants, I’ve usually found them to be happy to accommodate my vegetarian relatives and friends and offer them a wide range of options.)