Afternoon tea difficulty

[TheAverageJoanne]

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

I'd take my business elsewhere.

I don’t think your request to the hotel is unreasonable OP.
I really don’t understand why they can’t just accommodate it? It’s not wild. You’re paying.

The hotel's vegetarian provision seems very poor, but why did OP book such a place when there is a vegetarian in the party? Even if she liked cream cheese, it would only be a selection of one sandwich - as a veggie I'd want better, and many places offer better.

I don’t eat meat and have never had an issue with ordering a vegetarian afternoon tea at the various nice hotels we have met at. Usually I have been given my own plate of sandwiches and some cakes that are definitely gelatine free. I am surprised they aren’t being more accommodating. I personally wouldn’t bother with a crap public review though unless the actual food served was poor on the day.

I know restaurants that do not accommodate requests that are not allergy related or dietary related. It's a blanket policy as people ask for changes to suit personal preferences and they get a lot of them and it slows the kitchen down.

I dont think vegetarian is being fussy, I have been to afternoon tea parties for birthdays and couple were vegan, couple were vegetarian and they were able to accommodate, its really surprising that a provider on that scale doesn't have a veg menu. Maybe they thought just wanting cheese on bread is just fussy, but actually ordering as per 1 person is vegetarian and its a dietary need is ok. Also maybe more able to if there was another person vegetarian or up for vegetarian menu as easier to do for 2 thrn one and they get their own separate tier?? Its a really easy thing and honestly basic or less premier providers provide it. I would definitely include that in review that vegetarians are not catered for at all! Its sad that people still have to bring their own food to events like this.... surely the joy is not having to do your own....and in interest of inclusivity....Just saying bad form for them

To be honest, if you're a picky eater, you should look at the menu and choose somewhere that has something you will eat. It's a bit rude to go somewhere and just make up your own menu. Plain cheese butties are a bit crap - there's every possibility they just don't want to put their name to that kind of offering, in the case of social media photos etc. And I don't blame them!

Did you get a chance to phone them to clarify whether they provide a vegetarian or vegan afternoon tea menu OP?

Just to clarify, I was joking. Fusspot 😁
😆 🤣
I've had a lifetime of people telling me to get over it! As if I can just switch my taste buds off!!

I was joking. I think with cucumber, either you taste it or you don’t. I don’t taste it so can’t hate it. My husband HATES it and thinks it tastes like perfume.

My dh and both sons hate coriander and say it tastes like soap. I love it and have always been ' what's your problem!'
Maybe I should be more empathetic as they tolerate my cucumber hatred! 😆

I can’t believe people are doubting you. I went to a very fancy hotel last year, not a chain just a one of boutique place for afternoon tea and for my veggie friend they suggested she take the ham out of her sandwich. They then said the salmon and dill was vegetarian. Er… they had no veggie or vegan option, just a here is our afternoon tea menu, no subs. That’s it.

Me. I'll eat pretty much anything. On the rare occasion that I don't fancy something, I just leave it. No big deal and I don't expect a substitute to be provided.

I'm guessing you quoted the wrong person? I don't hate cucumber, I actually love it but it gives me blisters on my lips and inside my mouth and makes my tongue swell. Though I feel like that would be good enough reason to hate it.

The savoury part of afternoon tea is the least important part, in my view. Who wants to use up stomach space on that when there are so many delicious cakes and scones to be eaten? If I was your friend, I would simply skip the sandwiches and just go straight to the sweet stuff.

It’s not as bigger money spinner as you’d think - especially if it moves away from a set selection (dietary reasons aside). OP’s friend wants a cheese sandwich substituted, somebody only wants ham, somebody else wants no salmon but extra coronation chicken instead. It eventually completely buggers up stock supply/preparation.

I think what most of us want to know is why OP and her friends want to go to a place with no vegetarian menu and no flexibility about it despite one of their number being a vegetarian. Especially as it’s quite unusual for there to be no vegetarian option and they’ve been other places in the past that have worked for everyone so it’s not like it’s this hotel of nowhere.

I’m sure if OP let us know a vague area there would be loads of recommendations for veggie afternoon tea!

So many places have a vegetarian afternoon tea menu though?!
It baffles me that people don't check whether there's a vegetarian menu first before going, and then secondly act all surprised and put out when there's not much (or any choice) for them when they get there seeing as they've ordered a "normal" (in other words non veggie option that's going to include meat and/or fish!)
I mean, sorry but that's common sense, surely?

I find this thread fascinating.

Respondents are divided into two groups.

One feels passive and one feels active.

The first group is outraged at the hotel. They say you should complain, or leave a bad review, or not tip. They say the hotel is fundamentally wrong (it should provide an alternative) or at least disingenuous (it could provide an alternative). They say the customer is always right. This group feels it has right on its side

The second group is more ambivalent about the hotel. Resigned. They say the hotel can do what it likes. The OP can choose not to go. She can go somewhere else.

For me, the first position is pointless. It doesn't really matter if you think the hotel could or should do better, in your eyes. Fact is, they've said what they're doing.

The second position isn't necessarily in disagreement with the first, but solves the problem. The first position is just moaning.

Just go somewhere that provides the service you want. How is that difficult?

Exactly

Check whether the venue can cater for your requirements before booking. If they can't then don't book the venue

Simple

Weirdly, fresh coriander in particular seems to be extremely polarising.

Some people feel absolutely revolted by it, whereas others, like me, feel it adds something quite ethereal to a dish.

I have recently realised I love - LOVE - the smell of fresh torn basil but actually don't like the taste when cooked. I still wouldn't make the restaurant pick it out though; I'd eat it or choose something else.

Also, it's just a sandwich.

There are other things to eat as well - and then, of course, the company, which I take to be the real point of the visit, rather than a fairly basic cheese finger sandwich you could whip up a plate of any night at home.

It’s very poor of them.I love afternoon tea but don’t like cheese. We always ask when booking to make sure that there are some cheese-free sandwiches and all venues have been most accommodating. I never ask for something different, just double up on something else and omit the cheese. The cheesy savouries I’ll give to someone else as I tend to prefer the sweet stuff anyway.

I would tell the friend that it is what it is, and there aren't going to be the sandwiches she likes. So either she sits it out or puts up with it.

Then I'd make a mental note never to do anything foodie with her again as she has the palate of a three year old.

My dh and both sons hate coriander and say it tastes like soap. I love it and have always been ' what's your problem!'

Well their problem obviously is that it tastes like soap to them.

Did you not believe them?

It does to me & my son, but not to my husband & daughter.

Some tastes are genetic.

Coriander can taste like soap to some
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/do-you-love-or-hate-cilantro-the-reason-may-surprise-you

And cucumber tastes odd to others!
www.eatingwell.com/why-you-might-hate-cucumbers-11861996

*diddl · Today 14:27
My dh and both sons hate coriander and say it tastes like soap. I love it and have always been ' what's your problem!'

Well their problem obviously is that it tastes like soap to them.
Did you not believe them?

Of course i believed them! Its family banter because I love corrinder so much!
I'll eat my food and say ' oh my goodness this is so amazing with all this coriander and they will look like this 🤮
I'd joke that they need to try harder!

They do the same with cucumber to me

😆

I have the same opinion to be honest.

I can get that in a cheaper place, everything is probably pre-made and it's a bit like it or lump it. But in an expensive place, good customer service is expected as part of the deal, and rustling up a few cheese sarnies can't be that hard, for the sake of a happy customer. Especially as you asked beforehand.

But also, what sort of full grown adult only eats cheese sandwiches?! That's... a bit pathetic honestly.