I let my DD (age 7) go to the shops without an adult

[ListersSister]

She was with a friend (also 7), and both sets of parents were in agreement that they were ready for their first trip sans parents.

They had to cross one (very quiet) road, and went about 5 mins away. They were told if the shop didn't have what we had requested, they were to come home and not try another shop, which was across a busy road.

They did fine, and were pleased as punch when they got back. They stuck together, crossed the road very, very carefully (we were watching out of the window ) and didn't dawdle.

So, AIBU? My friend who lives in the same street nearly had an apoplectic fit when I told her. She was full of 'what if's'. She was also shocked that we didn't discretely follow them too

I figure that you have to start somewhere, and te risks really were minimal. Roads worry me more than anything, and that bit was fine. Should I be more protective, or am I being 'naive' as my friend said?

Same as charliecat.
Ds almost 10 thinks he's looking by whizzing his head left and right whilst crossing the road and just won't listen to me and learn.

If your DD was able to cope with the trip I don't think there was anything wrong at all with letting her go to the shops without an adult. Every child is different and if she is sensible then 7 is not too young.

Unfortunately my 7 yo DS couldn't cope with the road - he is like Solo's DS wth the whizzy head thing. He moves his head but not his eyes. Weird child.

It is very sad that we only have our cul-de-sac to cross for him to get to school alone but I just don't feel comfortable letting him do it. Cars come round the blind corner too quickly, desperate to find somewhere to park to drop their children off at school and he just wouldn't see them.

I have tried to let him go ahead a bit to see if he could cope but he either doesn't look at all or doesn't look properly. His head is somewhere else completely.

Short of letting him get mowed down I don't see how I can get him to see how important it is to look so for the foreseeable future I have to go with him. I just hope sense comes with age.

I started a thread earlier worrying about how useless ds1 is at taking responsibility for himself and there's no way on earth he'd be able to cross a road safely. he's 8.8
The problem with us is that we're really rural so no neighbours or pavements, so not much practice
I think it's great your dd managed it successfully LS. It will increase her confidence loads.
I'm very jealous.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/8/547525 I'm losing hope that sense is going to come with age Niecie look

whoops! Bed time

ingles - I think our boys are cut from the same cloth! I am despairing now!

I am hoping to make the "first trip alone with a friend" this weekend for dd1, who is 8y4m, her friend across the road is 10.

There is only one road to cross, it is quiet but there is a pedestrian crossing.

I asked about this a couple of weeks ago on here and was very reassured.

At 8, I was taking my little brother (age 1) in his huge and unweildy 70's pushchair to the local shop, 15 mins and one very busy road away, with my 6yo sister in tow as well (and half the neighbourhood too - we went everywhere in a gang of about 30!)

YANBU

Though I do sympathise with the "what if someone reports me" sentiment. We were once victims of a malicious report to social services adn it was nasty. But this is a common thing to happen. I wouldn't worry (and I worry about that sort of thing a lot)

I think you know your own child best and if it was OK for you then that's what matters.

Ah, DD always goes to the shop.
I actually went there myself the other day to be told what a lovely polite child I had.
She is seven, our shop is very close though, it's at the top of our street, about 15 houses up i suppose, and across a small road.
I'm thinking I may let her go to the big park across the busier road in the summer holidays.

Well done! It sounds like a nice safe route to start off with.

There was a thread with simular a context to this recently. I think it is up to YOU what your child is allowed to do. If you feel like it is ok, it does not matter what other people think.

I personally would not let my 7 year old son do this, because I don't think he has complete road sense as yet.

YANBU.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think you have a very sensible and healthy attitude

What a great attitude,and you know whats best. have my dd8yrs walking to tennis lessons alone on a friday evening and likewise all the other Mums are horrified!

The world has gone mad but you havent

I think it depends on the child and the location. I don't think I would let my dd [7] do this at the moment but yanbu in letting yours.

Good for you (and the girls). It sonds like it was all handled very sensibly and successfully.
I remember running to the local shops for fags, too.....with a note from my mum!

These threads come up ever so often. Basically, it is going to be down to the individual parent, the individual area and the individual child. I have no problem with ds (only just 8) walking home from school, because the only relatively busy roads between him and home are covered by two lollipop ladies and a set of traffic light respectively, he is very careful with traffic (though a dreamer on other occasions) and there are lots of other people about who know him.

Whether your dc's have to cope with more traffic than you did is going to depend on what kind of area you grew up in and what kind of area they grow up in. Dh thinks the traffic density down here is ridiculously low compared to where he grew up in London.

Actually, while I agree you are doing the right thing in giving them more independence, I still think you are not giviing them enough.

Obviously I don't know your child or the area where you live but I would expect a seven year old to be allowed further away on their own and for longer.