I let my DD (age 7) go to the shops without an adult

[ListersSister]

She was with a friend (also 7), and both sets of parents were in agreement that they were ready for their first trip sans parents.

They had to cross one (very quiet) road, and went about 5 mins away. They were told if the shop didn't have what we had requested, they were to come home and not try another shop, which was across a busy road.

They did fine, and were pleased as punch when they got back. They stuck together, crossed the road very, very carefully (we were watching out of the window ) and didn't dawdle.

So, AIBU? My friend who lives in the same street nearly had an apoplectic fit when I told her. She was full of 'what if's'. She was also shocked that we didn't discretely follow them too

I figure that you have to start somewhere, and te risks really were minimal. Roads worry me more than anything, and that bit was fine. Should I be more protective, or am I being 'naive' as my friend said?

How can anyone else say you are being unreasonable?

You know your child best.

I'm all for children being given sensible amounts of independence bit by bit.

Sounds like your DDs' first adventure went really well.

Message withdrawn

I think it sounds fine. I wish more people would help their DC become independent.

I think you're being slightly unreasonable to coddle them as much, actually! One quiet road and then some shops 5 mins away?

No worries at all. We were all doing it at much younger!

I would not let a 7 year old go to the shops alone.

discussed something like this with a friend today. We are all so fearful these days. Sounds like there was minimal risk. This kind of thing will teach your child to be responsible and give her confidence.

I was stuck in a long queue in the PO recently so sent DS8 to the bakery to get the bread. Give him money and clear instructions.

The woman in front of me with a child similiar age, then turned and said, you are right, they need to learn, so left her daughter to post the parcel while she went to get something else.

My DS was very proud of managing on his own.

just started letting my dd go to the shops on her own, aged 8, sweet shop only down the road but it feels a big step, think it is because she is my youngest.
we must stop wrapping them up in cotton wool. i kept saying to myself
we walked to school as children, crossed roads etc., etc., without our parents.

Well, one of the arguments was :
what if one of them fell, what would the other one do about help? PLUS
what if someone talked to them (wtf)?
what if something happened - you didn't even give them a phone (no, we didn't, they don't know how to use a mobile
what if they had a fight and wouldn't walk together?
there were others that I have forgotten, although one other stuck in my mind :
what if someone from the shop reports you!

The world is mad, is is not? I recall walking 15 mins at that age to the shop to buy my Dad's fags and sunday paper! The paranoia these days is paralysing...

I think that sounds absolutely fine, and obviously you were confident of your dd's abilities or you wuldn't have sent her.

I think that sounds absolutely fine, and obviously you were confident of your dd's abilities or you wuldn't have sent her.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the "What if someone from the shop reports you" one.

i dont think the shop would sell your dd fags now
i have going to sweet shop with my dd, so many decisions, let the sweet shop owner help her

It's unbelievable(and worrying) how little confidence and trust there is in a) the general public not to take the opportunity to exploit youngish children and b) children to cope with relatively risk-free experiences.

YANBU. There was an article in the Times this week about a mother who let her 9yr old travel on the New York subway alone-which attracted no end of interest in US.
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I don't expect that I would do that, but you have to make a start and gradually let go. I don't know why I am replying to this having just taken part in a long thread about DCs not being allowed to go to the post box on their own!
Your DCs trip to the shop was perfectly safe.

My ten year old is crap at crossing the road. Just doesnt seem to see cars.
I thought I read years ago they cant judge the speed of cars till 10-11?
I wouldnt let dd2 go not even with older kids.

I agree, they have to learn independence. Things are so different here where I live now (norway) Parents DO leave their kids in the car when paying for petrol, people DO leave kids in the car when popping out to get a few groceries, and people DO let children sit alone and watch the complimentary video in the middle of a busy shopping centre while they get their shopping done.

And, children usually walk alone to and from school from age 6, and usually stay home alone for an hour or so between the after school clubs finnishes and the parents come home from work. Most even know how to make themselves a sandwich.

You should be proud of your dd.

interesting article on this subject

fwiw, I agree with you. The thing that nobs me off is I find myself going through the "what ifs" in my head - I really wish I could stop.

grrr, too slow!

my dd1 is four and goes in the shop alone but i am always waiting outside. at 7 i would let her walk there alone, possibly even younger, the shop in question requires no road crossing and is at the top of our street about a five min walk there and back for dd.

i dont think you are wrong letting them go to together. sounds fine to me. what was some one in the shop going to report you for? did she think they were buying themselves scratchcards and vodka?

"My ten year old is crap at crossing the road. Just doesnt seem to see cars. "

Do you think that part of the fact that your ten year old has no road sense is that you have never let him or her have the chance to take risks. Most parents knew how to cross roads by the age of ten from having the odd fright at an earlier age. And yes, there was plenty of traffic where I grew in south west London in the 1980s.

I am sure that my son at the age of 6 could walk to school on his own, but the school would freak out. He doesn't have a single road to cross and our elderly neighbours' children walked to the same school at the age of 4 on their own.

I am sure that people will be saying that 15 year olds do not have enough road sense to be out on their own in ten years time.

actually 15 year olds are pretty crap at crossing roads, they just seem to saunter across.
and there are more cars nowadays. it is true.
at age 10 they can't judge speed and distance of cars, known facr

Really Tired, I watched her, step into the road and cross in front of a car that was indicating into the road she was crossing a few days ago.
Whatever she needs she clearly HAS NOT got.
I do let my kids tell me when its safe to cross.
I got run over by a motor bike as a kid, I didnt see it...and my mate was in hospital for 6 months after a car smashed into her on the zebra crossing.