To have had a baby after being with DH for less than six months?

[itwasshelter]

Absolute insanity really. I think it’s worked out, hard to say. I do wonder how much we really have in common?

It’s a bit of a lottery. I had been with my ex for a “normal” 3 years when I got pregnant, and we ended up divorced. Amicably, but divorced nonetheless.

Your FiL sounds fab 👑 😆

Tbh I think that most couples who are still together when their children become adults have their children as their main thing in common, however long they were together beforehand. DH and I met at 18, married at 22 and I was 26 when we had our first DC, so 8 years of getting to know each other before we had our children. However those years before the DC came along seem so remote now. I almost feel as though we were different people…and in many ways we were.

Obviously we were very young, so that’s part of it - we grew up together in our twenties and learned to navigate life and parenthood together. But those years of parenting together have shaped us into who we are today. We had to learn to negotiate life with all its ups and downs through the lens of prioritising two little people whilst caring for each other. And sometimes we did that well and sometimes we didn’t, but we learned about ourselves and each other through those very experiences. And we learned how to really love each other whatever circumstances we were in.

When our youngest DC left home for uni, DH and I were on our own for the first time in 21 years. And we loved it! And we still love it 7 years on. We loved our years bringing up the DC and we love it now when it’s just us. Not because we can now enjoy what we had in common when we were 23 but because we’ve built a life together and strengthened our relationship in and through raising a family. It has moulded and shaped us, knocked off our rough edges, taught us not to be so selfish and given us shared experiences and memories that exist even though the DC are fully fledged adults now. We always had a mix of shared activities (mostly altogether as a family) and things we did on our own but it’s not the stuff that we do or have done that makes life together so great, it’s the bond we’ve built and the love we still share. I’m as happy having Saturday morning brunch in a local cafe with him as I am on some grand travel adventure, because we enjoy just being together. So hopefully when your DC have left home that’s what you will have in common - the love and bond that comes with raising a family together and allowing that to shape you for the good and for each other.

Similar here OP. We weren’t even an official item when DD was accidentally conceived. 10 years and 2 more kids and a wedding later and we are happy. Funny how things work out.

It was a mistake for me when I did it but sometimes it works out

Well it seems to have worked out for you op.

I had a similar experience. I met my second husband in July (no, not last year🤔). I was pregnant by New Year and had our daughter in October.

We married the following August barely 2 years after meeting and with a 10 month old baby.

Like you I didn't have time to waste, I was 38, nearly 39, when my daughter was born.
Mind you, I also squeezed a divorce and 2 house moves into the year she was born ... talk about indicators of stress!

I personally think it's reckless to ttc with someone you ve known months. You are choosing the father for your child with all th implications that being good or crap can have. Of course accidents happen but imo having a child with someone is a far bigger decision than something like getting married . This man will affect your child for good or evil all their lives.
Of course people can change etc but you have a better chance of knowing someone well if you are with them longer than a couple of months.

My daughter married her husband 88 days after they met, six years ago. They bought a house and have four children, 5,4 2 and 6 months. They are as mad as a box of frogs, but seem happy enough. Good luck to you.

In a perfect world, yes. But what about a woman who is 39 and wants a baby? Would you recommend she wait 3-5 years to really get to know her partner before TTC? 🧐

You’ve been with him for less than six months and have already had a baby? Maybe he’s not very good at maths (or biology), but once he figures it out, you’ll have some explaining to do.

It could be worse OP, I got pregnant (accidentally of course) on date three! It's not been the easiest to navigate tbh but neither of us would change our DC for the world

You sound like a fun mix of impulsive and pragmatic, which probably makes you a good problem solver (or at least an interesting one). If MrItWasHelter is along for the ride you’ve got as good a chance as anyone, surely

Yes, but it is nevertheless a very confusing and badly written post.

DH & i were together for 3 weeks, split for 3 weeks, then moved in together. I was pg within that first year.

We have been married 33 years this year.

Maybe it’s not the ‘done thing’ but there’s no reason why you can’t be very happy together. My parents married a month after meeting and I was born 9 months later. They had been together for 54 years when she died.

I met my DH in August 1997 and our first was born in June 1998 😂. Quite a whirlwind!

Had 4 children in 6 years, still together now almost 30 years later.

So you mean you CONCEIVED a baby after only 6 months, not that you HAD a baby after 6 months. Good way to get noticed here.

Well that's not what you said. You claimed you had a baby six months after meeting him which was obvious clickbait bollocks.

What are you trying to achieve on this thread? What do you actually want to know and why?

Uh don’t you know by now? If you’ve been married almost four years?
You really could have said all that in your original post OP.

You’ve been together 6.5 years and you’re still not sure whether you have anything in common? Maybe you’ll have an inkling after 10 years 😂

DH and I got engaged after 10 months of meeting and were married within 15 months of meeting. When you know, you know. We’ve now been married for 9 years. Every wedding anniversary we joke “and they said it wouldn’t last”, which isn’t actually true but it makes us giggle. Definitely have a few things in common though.

Surely women should think about what dad they are providing for their child, they shouldn’t just be thinking about having a child. That’s why so many kids end up with shit dads

My parents met in the September, found out my mum was pregnant in the December they got married in the February and had me in July! 40 odd years later they are still together and very happy. It’s true when you know you know.

I'm pleased it worked out for you OP but just in case anone reading this thinks rushing into things is a good plan, please be careful. I experienced the opposite, my biggest regret in life.

and even then, this place is full of threads of guys who changed once a baby arrived. sometimes you just have to trust yourself

So you fell pregnant after less than 6 months, you didn't have a baby!

Met on the last day of July married 28 days later had twins 9 months after that and 17 years on still as happy as anything adore DH and all the kids we now have, love my life, my family and ye works for some lol