People flirting with your partner in public, anyone had this?

[AmpleHedgehog]

I bought him something for his birthday that we needed to return to the shop for an amendment, we both went together.
The assistant serving us was a lady who looked in her 20s, I started the conversation to ask about their returns policies etc. And she only spoke to me when she had to.

She complimented my partner on what he was wearing then they ended up in a wider conversation. We had to wait with her for around 5 minutes for a supervisor to come and check she'd issued a refund correctly or something.

I was smiling and approachable but couldn't really find an inn in the conversation, she barely looked at me. She was asking how old he is, and to be honest I felt he was flirting back slightly, he teased her about something and they had a bit of a laugh.

I may have to go back into that store this weekend and when we left he said something like oh you'll have to check if she's in, then something like sorry hope that didn't seem weird.

I know she was his type physically (both goths, and he's into that). I know this will happen and it may happen when I'm not around, some people are just like that. If she'd also spoken to me more it would have been different.

To be fair I just laughed it off and didn't say a word about it, 20 year old me probably would've made a comment or been a bit offended to him. Anyone else had this?

He hid it well.
She is indeed a goddess. Hell, I would have gone home with her but she didn’t hit on me!

It's so cringey when people flirt with your partner in front of you. I think some women just act like that around all men though and are probably oblivious to how disrespectful it is (or are they? Who knows).

A year or so ago I was listening to the radio when someone from a local college was talking about customer service training and mentioned how they might encourage students to flirt with customers to make them more likely to come back. I was disgusted. Especially as most college students are probably 16-18 yo!

The worst was at a University fancy dress ball . It was a student. DH was going to be her internal examiner for her PhD, that’s a great double entendre isn’t it. Her charms didn’t work and she was given major modifications, she cried in her viva. The kind of woman who puts the fight for women’s equality back by years. At one point she pulled a feather out of her cleavage and said I wonder how that got in there with a tinkly laugh to DH. He was decidedly unimpressed, I was raging, probably the most angry I have ever been, didn’t say a word as was worried it would escalate.

Yes, was it not just that he was the person whose actual possession was being amended, which was the reason you were at the shop? And she was just making chitchat with a customer? I mean, it's a million years since I worked in a shop, but mightn't she just have been unclear as to why you were there and starting conversations about returns policy, as it wasn't your item?

I’d love to have such a charmed life that the angriest I’d ever been was about someone flirting with my bloke.

🤣

Even if your love is king, and you try to hang onto your love, the sweetest taboo is no ordinary love, and it's never as good as the first time 😀🎶

I take these things with a pinch of salt after being on the other side: at a wedding I was speaking with a man and it turned out we had lots of things in common. His wife was stood with her friends giving me daggers.

Being a married lesbian I can assure you I wasn’t after her man but given that she and her friends gave me a very subtle but clear cold shoulder all evening I presume she thought I was.

😂

Bloody hell! The brazeness! Some women have no shame clearly 😳

Is it a crime ?

I used to get it with my ex. My food on a conveyor belt, an attractive younger woman starts discussing how healthy he eats - my food shop that I paid for! nothing to do with him,

Yeah, it has happened to DP and I a few times. The most notable a hairdresser taking 45 minutes to shave his head to a number 2 all over with me sitting about 6 feet behind. We just saw it as amusing - he was awkward and didn't flirt back. He notices when a man looks at me too and also sees it as funny or a compliment that his tastes are reciprocated. I'm sure it happens a lot to DP as he works in a physical job involved with a sport that is fairly female heavy.

No one flirts with my DH but I’m always being told how good looking he is. I think he doesn’t get flirted with because he’s simply not receptive to it, ie he doesn’t recognise it or respond so any flirting dies in the air.

goths? How old are you and your boyfriend

Surely, this depends on the relationship you have with your partner. If you trust each other and have a strong relationship, all a little flirting of this sort does is reinforce each partner's attractiveness, which is nothing more than a little ego boost (whichever partner it is). I'm more often the one that gets flirted with rather than my partner but he is very confident (as he should be) that even if I chatter away on a train or at a shop it is never going to go anywhere because he and I are very much in love with each other, and neither of us would do anything to jeopardize that. He finds it amusing rather than threatening. And, I find his confidence in us and me utterly lovely and it further reinforces our relationship.

goths? How old are you and your boyfriend

They could be anything up to 60+ years old...

Yes, I've had this.

I'm 50 and my partner is 10 years older (and looks it 😉) but it doesn't seem to matter. He still has a full head of hair - or would if he didn't have a mohican.

The number of times we're been out and women will come up to him cooing about how cool he looks and how 'amazing' his hair is and how much they love it... Complete with the coy head tilt and, "Can I touch it."

He doesn't engage but laughs awkwardly and says no, which they ignore/take as a green light and then ooh and ahh about how hard/firm it is. Seriously.

I suppose it feels safe to do so because I'm there (or because he's old?) 🤷🏻‍♀️ because none of them would actually be interested in him.

For balance, men usually say things like, "Bloody hell, mate. I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you!' Or "I wish I still had the hair to do that!"

(I have nc for this - it is genuine!)

Give her 30 years and she will chat to the woman and barely recognise he is alive.

Oops its that just me?
Men a pause

Yes, he was very charming & moved in with our neighbour after having an affair for, what i assume was months. They both left partners to be together. I stupidly assumed it was just harmless flirting, I wont make that mistake again

Was married to a man who was very attractive and i got that a lot, but he was so utterly thick and clueless when it came to that sort of thing he never noticed or reciprocated, which i found funny.
Had a boyfriend years ago who used to lap it up whenever there were women talking to him. Would flirt mercilessly in front of my face. Made me feel dissed and insecure. We split up but stayed in touch over the years ( god knows why ) and he went on to get marrried 3 times and was selfish in all 3 relationships. They all left him. I had a narrow escape !!!!

I get it a lot. Most is good natures. Some isn't.
I trust DH. So they can flirt all they like.
I just see it as he's advancing in years and still as hot as he was when we met over 25 years ago.

It actually is amusing as he never realises.

I have to point it out to my husband. He's the most oblivious person I've ever met when it comes to people flirting with him, but they do quite often.

When we were very first talking before we'd even got together, I grabbed him and kissed him on a night out - he still wanted to have a conversation the next day as he was unsure if I really liked him. He's unbelievably incapable of reading flirtatious signals even when they're quite blatant. So it doesn't bother me when people flirt with him because I know he's got absolutely no idea anyway.

I'm not sure how I'd feel if he noticed and started flirting back though. Bit disrespectful.

Just a word of warning to those who say their husband never notices when an attractive woman flirts with him.

An old friend of mine used to say that about her husband -, that he never noticed. She absolutely believed it.

I went out with him without her a few times and saw what she meant.

However, he most definitely did notice. He might not have acted on it but he definitely noticed.

You win! 100%

My partner is drop dead gorgeous and gets flirted with by women (and men!) all the time. I enjoy having a laugh about it with him after, it only bothers me when there’s been instances of women getting handsy - it baffles me that some women think they can get away with non-consensually groping a man just because he’s a man.

Just because they were talking doesn’t mean they were flirting.