To not want to change my surname?

[pussyinboots743]

I’m getting married soon (It’s my third) and on my first marriage I changed my surname to be that of my husband’s (I was 19) but didn’t for the second. I’ve kept my first husband’s surname to this day as we have two DC and I like having the same surname as them. My fiancé wants to me change it to his own name as he feels like having my first DH’s surname is weird and as if I was with another man. He says the DC are adults now and that it shouldn’t matter about their surnames. But frankly I don’t want to change it as I’ve had it for 30 years now. This is causing friction between us. Am I being unreasonable here?

Any man who wants to display his property via your name is a red flag. Call yourself what you want, and perhaps consider whether he's possessive in any other ways before you get married.

Is this first step in controlling you? What next?

Honestly, I don't think it's a huge red flag OP - would he be asking you to change it if it was just your maiden name? I think it easier to just go back to your maiden name now your children are older and invite him to take the same name or not.

I never changed my name and DC have both of our names. I think changing your name is kind of outdated to be honest now.

This

I never changed my name and only about half my friends changed theirs, and we’re in our late 50’s, so while it’s still popular it’s really not compulsory or ‘traditional’ anymore. Women have had whatever names they want for decades now. If he’s so desperate for you to have the same name then why doesn’t he change his name to yours?