To have a family member with flu around my 3 month old?

[PostPartum8990]

My family were due to come over today for a gathering. My sister messaged me to say my niece has the flu, but she will wear a mask as I have a 3 month old and 3.5 year old.

I said no to this, as I don’t want to get them unwell and masks don’t protect.

AIBU?

If niece has,actual flu she wont be getting out of bed.
Does,she have a cold?
A mask will help to a degree to prevent her sneezing droplets but she must be on her all the tine washing hands and or sanitiser

If she has the flu she shouldn't be at home not out and about visiting people.

If she has flu she shouldn’t be seeing other people

If she had the flu she would be in bed. Probably just a bad cold.

She shouldn’t come from an infection control perspective, but she should also be resting! Surely she would be miserable if she came?

You're not being unreasonable.

Not being unreasonable. If your niece is sick her parents need to prioritise her getting better and not risking your family. My 4.5 month old got the flu recently as did I and it was horrific…

If i were the sis I would note this decision as you being especially protective and that would mean I should expect issues with dealing with you in future because you obviously have different risk tolerance thresholds than me. I would think of that as a headache I don't want to manage and knowing about this difference would discourage me from trying to visit in future.

Do as you please. I am not surprised if OP is saying her sister was disappointed or felt frustrated.

If she has flu, she should be staying home in bed resting, not being taken out visiting to spread infection.

If she has the flu your sister should be looking after her at home giving her the time she needs to rest and recover, for the sake of the poorly child as well as everyone she may pass it on to. What a selfish thing to suggest bringing her round and putting her in a mask.

If you were my sister I'd be questioning your parenting and why you would prioritise a family visit over letting your sick child rest and recover. Taking a child out who has flu and making them wear a mask is awful. They need to be in bed.

No one with flu should be visiting other people. Flu is incredibly serious. My neighbour has been in hospital over Christmas with flu & is still very ill.

I’d have said no as well. What age is the niece? I’m assuming older that she was going to wear a mask. I never took my children to gatherings or parties if they had a heavy cold as I didn’t want to spread it around.

If you have the flu you need to stay in bed and get better. Not be dragged to relatives house. Poor thing.

My niece is 22. So she would have decided to come.

@lljkk for protecting my 3 month old and 3.5 year old from getting unwell? Lol

She doesn’t have flu, if she did, she most likely wouldn’t be able to or want to get out of bed. She probably has a bad cold, and I still
wouldn’t want her in my house.

UANBU. If you were able to take up the flu vaccine offered during pregnancy your baby should still be protected to an extent until around 6 months.

I wouldn’t want either the flu or even a bad cold! Why on earth would your niece even consider coming and spreading her germs?? Some people have no regard !! Defo stick to your guns, it could mean many an unsettled night for your baby x

Flu can be very mild so it’s not true that someone with it cannot get out of bed (although obviously shouldn’t go round spreading it).
However, since most mildly ill people wouldn’t be tested, I’d assume she is quite unwell so that the parents have assumed it’s “flu”. Therefore obviously she she should stay home, for her sake and for everyone else’s.

The flu can be horrendous (ended up on an oxygen mask with it myself) - on what planet would you be unreasonable to not want her to come visit if she's ill?!
She can stay at home and not spread her germs. It's not being precious or overprotective or whatever, it's common bloody sense.

Just say no.

Flu / a bad cold whatever. No-one with any common sense visits a weeny baby when poorly?

Exactly. The misinformation about "you cant get out of bad" is on every thread about flu. You can easily get combined flu/covid tests so lots more people test nowadays
OP - I think you are being sensible. Your neice is old enough to stay on her own or understand a rearranged visit. Your sis has probably forgotten just how tiny and vulnerable a 3mth old is (easy done once they've become big teenagers!).

I wouldn't want someone with a cold round me let alone my children. I wouldn't go visiting if I had a cold and definitely not if I had flu even if mild. Stay at home and stop spreading germs.

Just like Covid, flu symptoms can range from death to totally asymptomatic. You can absolutely be infected with an influenza virus and be walking around.

Loads of people say flu when it's just a cold . If it was flu she'd be too unwell to leave the house . Still I'd not want her near my kids .