To be almost depressed with my god awful hair?

[Pacif]

Im 45. My hair was originally mousy brown but has been dyed many times over the years and is currently dark brown. It’s rapidly falling out due to severe anaemia (and possibly a poor diet) so its thin and dull. If I let it dry naturally it’s an awful curly (not nice curls) frizzy mess. It’s long, wild - so I just tie it up in a crap pony tail but I had a wake up call yesterday when there was a post on Facebook taking the piss out of 90s teenagers with their pony tails and dangly bits at the front - my hair was like that when I was a teen … and still is!!!

As I said I’m 45 but I look over 50. I’m pale and poorly looking and my awful hair just makes me look 10 times worse. I’ve tried every product going … every method going …

Its always been long - AIBU to say fuck it, get it cut short (shoulder short) so at least there is less of it? But I’m scared …

those of you over 40 - what hairstyle do you have? Especially if you are cursed with crsp hair?

You can try all the methods you want, but you need to fix the root cause. Have you been to the doctors? Have you changed your diet?

Personally I’d get it cut short and in parallel change my diet so the new growth is healthier. If you don’t want it cut short you can get extensions added but would still need to change your diet.

Im on iron tablets and have started taking a multivitamin too. Im trying really hard with my diet but I know the effects will take a while to show

You probably don’t want to hear this but my hairs condition improved x100 when I let it all go grey. I think some peoples hair (mine for sure) struggles with being dyed over and over. At my most recent hair cut, the hair dresser was telling me how “gorgeous” my hair was! That’s never happened in my life!

I’ve gone for shoulder length with some shorter face framing bits. My hair was like yours, constantly dyed dark brown, long, thin and straggly. IMO it looks much better now. Definitely get it cut shorter, it will help.

Do you see the hairdresser regularly? Have you spoken to them about it? I’ve been seeing my hairdresser for years and we’re slowly adapting what we do as I get older (although I am in my 30s so it’s really just greys for now).

How ridiculous!

People should style their hair as they want. But I find it sad when women feel such revulsion at their own bodies/skin/hair and the natural ageing process.

A good cut and move to a warmer hair dye. Dark dyes can look very harsh on aging pale skins. And start taking some hair and nails supplements if fixing your diet is hard.

I’m 43 and my hair is finally in a good way after being fried with bleach/heat/bad diet. It was around 4 inches shorter at the sides compared to the back and wouldn’t grow.
Like I said I’m happy with it now, but it’s been a process.
I had it all chopped off into a bob. I also had 4 Brazilian blow drys over the space of a year, they take away all frizz meaning you don’t have to use heat.
I also had it dyed to match my roots and haven’t dyed it in years now.
I take biotin, iron and magnesium supplements along with pumpkin seed oil.
I use a shampoo and conditioner that was recommended to me on here… Luseta Black Jamaican Castor Oil.
And I do a scalp treatment with rosemary oil once a week.

Take the advice about diet etc, but while you're waiting for results, learn to do some up-dos that look elegant rather than teenagerish - lots of tutorials online. Wash it with frizz-ease shampoo, spray with their dream curls spray and comb through while damp. And yes, consider a good shorter cut. My curly hair's got thinner with age and I've had to accept it needs to stay no longer than shoulder-length now - nothing looks more crap than a stringy little rat-tail down your back.

Vitamin C is essential for iron absorption. Botin supplements are good for hair too.

Do you use any stylers?

Mine long and the longer it’s got the more curl it has, drives me mad as if I leave it I look like hagrids sister, bushy frizzy and out of control.

I use panten oil treatment to help control and use a hot brush hairdryer which has been a game change for me, easy to use, quick and gets my hair straight

I have never dyed my hair though and that’s likely to be part of your issue. Could you live with not dyeing it anymore?

Improve your diet, cut it short ( you don't like it now so why keep poor condition, dead hair hanging around?), stop dying it and do a lot of intensive conditioning treatments as the new hair grows.

But the biggest thing is to change your diet. How can your body grow and repair properly if you are not nourishing it well?

Cut it off! Get a bob / lob. Go to a good hairdresser and ask what they recommend to suit you face shape then go for it.

I think you really, really need to focus on your diet and living healthily. I would suggest a Mediterranean type diet based on lots of vegetables and a fair bit of lean protein. Try to avoid UPS, simple carbs and sugar (and alcohol).

Take the supplements your doctor recommends, especially calcium, vitamin D, vitamin C, vitamin B12, fish oil and magnesium.

As for your hair, I would get a simple short, layered, cut and grow out the dyed hair. Get some highlights and/or lowlights and gradually adjust to the grey. Use overnight hair masks and leave-in conditioners.

If it is curly or wavy you could go to a specialist hairdresser. I went to one who was honest and said the only way is to lose length, she did one cut of the scissors with my hair dry and it started to look better straight away, since then so many people have complemented me and asked what I have had done.

As people have said above you need to sort out your diet and specifically look up hair growth routines and supplements. Then get a shorter and more manageable haircut so you don’t have to wear it up everyday. You have to invest in yourself if you want to look good over 40 imo!! You can’t just scrape your hair back, not use skincare and eat junk. Not saying you are doing that but maybe you are a bit.

I recently felt down about the state of my regularly box dyed hair and just felt it wasnt doing me any favours length ways. Spent decent money on new shampoo and conditioner and went to a new hairdresser this week. Hair much shorter now, all the weight taken away. Feel like a new woman! Waiting for my new iron supplements to kick in for a boost too.

Cut it, you will feel liberated! Then get some decent curl products and sort out your health as much as possible.

Have you tried a Brazillian Blow-dry at a salon?Cocochooco or similar that isn't going to make your hair too straight but will improve the conditon. I also have really difficult hair similar to yours and in my early 40s, it is better now than ever. I also use a Pantene deep conditioner every time I condition plus straighten it a bit to tidy up once dry. If your hair is thin, you could amend the routine with volumising products.

Are there Apps where you can take a photo and show yourself with short hair or just a different style - if not, there should be, bagsy the idea!

My hair sounds like yours. Tbh I shaved it off on a whim 5 years ago and have kept it the same ever since. Never regretted it but I appreciate it’s not for everyone

Will definitely look healthier at a shorter legnth.

Obviously it's only my personal opinion but I think after about 35-40, women almost always look better with shorter hair. Not talking pixie cut necessarily - just shoulder length or above. I'd definitely get a nice cut, focus on eating well, drinking enough water, and conditioning it enough.