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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To remove teen son's Netflix sofa

57 replies

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 20:43

We have family friends with a house in Cornwall and a flat in Plymouth. They use the flat in Plymouth during the week- the dad needs to work Tuesday-Thursday so he comes to Plymouth Monday night and leaves Thursday night, and the mum comes as well so she isn't alone in the Cornwall house. The son, 17, stays full time in the flat in Plymouth where he goes to college. They are spare key holders for my flat as I live in the city, so I go to the flat once a month or so.

There's a large kitchen with a big table, where I'm usually invited to have a cup of tea, and a small sitting room a bit out of the way with two armchairs and a sofa. When the son is alone, he likes to lie on the sofa and watch Netflix on his laptop. It's pretty old and dilapidated, with rips, so he's put cushions and a blanket on it.

The mum wants to get rid of the sofa as it's an eyesore, and add another chair instead- they're not there enough really to warrant the expense of a whole new sofa they don't see or use. I guess occasionally they might invite guests through to the sitting room instead of the kitchen for a cup of tea/drink before dinner, and the sofa looks a bit shabby to do so, but their friends are mostly in Cornwall instead of the city base. That means the son will be sofa less and his only lying down option will be his bedroom, and he likes to keep that screen free to help his sleep. Thinking about it, the mum's well within her rights to get rid of the sofa as it's her house, and I think she's worried about the time the son spends lying down as he's overweight and inactive, but the son is there more often and I guess what he says about not wanting the screen in his room is fair enough, and him not being comfortable wouldn't make him move more. AIBU to raise this or is the mum totally in the right?

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 10/01/2026 20:45

He can buy a foot stool and use the new chair 🤷🏻‍♀️

MyLimeZebra · 10/01/2026 20:45

YABU to give it so much thought

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 20:46

MyLimeZebra · 10/01/2026 20:45

YABU to give it so much thought

There's just a lot of details to explain 😁know is a bit long!

OP posts:
poolcrew · 10/01/2026 20:47

If you don’t live there I’m not sure why it would matter?

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 20:48

TeenLifeMum · 10/01/2026 20:45

He can buy a foot stool and use the new chair 🤷🏻‍♀️

True but the mum may not want that in the room, he'd need to store it in his room Tues-Thursday:) not a bad suggestion though!

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 10/01/2026 20:49

I think it’s about compromising. Or he can suggest a recliner chair.

RappelChoan · 10/01/2026 20:51

It literally has fuck all to do with you how a different family furnishes their home.

Snowymcsnowface · 10/01/2026 20:52

I'm big on the house is a home for those that live there and not to be pretty for guests so on that basis I'd say leave the sofa if the son is there all the time (unlike mum/dad) and uses it. The inactivity is a different issue though and won't be fixed by getting rid of it.

Or get a footstool ot recliners as PPs have said.

Arlanymor · 10/01/2026 20:55

Sorry I am struggling to see what it's got to do with you?

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 20:56

Why do you care so much about this lad's lounging options in a house you neither own , use or live in...?

Catza · 10/01/2026 20:57

Another person here wondering why you are so invested in the family you don't belong to furnishing a house to don't own.

Whaleandsnail6 · 10/01/2026 20:58

You are being so unreasonable! How on earth is any of this your business?!

I'd think it absolutely crazy if one of my friends tried to tell me what to do with my furniture.

If the son is so desperate to be able to lie down, he can purchase a recliner chair

Zippidydoodah · 10/01/2026 20:59

Whose son? Not yours? The title was misleading. Also, why mention that they have a key for your flat?

I also have no idea why this is any of your business at all.

INeedAnotherName · 10/01/2026 21:00

I have no idea why you are so invested in another person's home decor or the family dynamics. It's not your place to say anything. The son is old enough to talk to his parents sensibly about any preferences he has and if his wishes are overriden then he only needs to suck it up until he's 18. Then he can make his own decor decisions in his own place.

Notmyreality · 10/01/2026 21:02

How bizarre

herbalteabag · 10/01/2026 21:03

Why would you want to say anything though? Surely the 17 year old can express his own opinions over the sofa? Don't they communicate at all?

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:03

Notmyreality · 10/01/2026 21:02

How bizarre

What's bizarre :)

OP posts:
TheMorgenmuffel · 10/01/2026 21:04

Has the mum asked you for your input?

titchy · 10/01/2026 21:05

This is over-investment even by MN standards! Is there some peculiar reason why he can’t watch stuff on his laptop sitting on a chair?

If you’re going to stick your beak it you’d be better off suggesting that leaving a teen on his own five days a week isn’t brilliant parenting.

But hey, I’m sure the sofa is more important 🤷‍♀️

Notmyreality · 10/01/2026 21:06

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:03

What's bizarre :)

You

SisterMarie · 10/01/2026 21:07

Raise it 🤣 it's their house.

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:08

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:03

What's bizarre :)

You. You're bizarre.

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:08

herbalteabag · 10/01/2026 21:03

Why would you want to say anything though? Surely the 17 year old can express his own opinions over the sofa? Don't they communicate at all?

He has, he says he'll have nowhere to lie down/relax if the sofa is gone as he doesn't want to watch screens in his room for sleep hygiene reasons. He could watch Netflix in an armchair but he says it won't be the same.

It's not like it is my business no so I probably won't say anything, but I see both sides so thought it would be interesting what Mumsnet thought 😁 I don't think any more posts in that vein really add anything to the discussion. A recliner chair the mum probably wouldn't think fitted the room decor- she likes fancy furniture- so would have to be stored in his room. She also doesn't want to encourage lying down as he's overweight.

OP posts:
RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:09

titchy · 10/01/2026 21:05

This is over-investment even by MN standards! Is there some peculiar reason why he can’t watch stuff on his laptop sitting on a chair?

If you’re going to stick your beak it you’d be better off suggesting that leaving a teen on his own five days a week isn’t brilliant parenting.

But hey, I’m sure the sofa is more important 🤷‍♀️

He's a sixth form student. So quite old enough to be "left alone".

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:10

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:08

He has, he says he'll have nowhere to lie down/relax if the sofa is gone as he doesn't want to watch screens in his room for sleep hygiene reasons. He could watch Netflix in an armchair but he says it won't be the same.

It's not like it is my business no so I probably won't say anything, but I see both sides so thought it would be interesting what Mumsnet thought 😁 I don't think any more posts in that vein really add anything to the discussion. A recliner chair the mum probably wouldn't think fitted the room decor- she likes fancy furniture- so would have to be stored in his room. She also doesn't want to encourage lying down as he's overweight.

Edited

Why do you care though?