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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To remove teen son's Netflix sofa

57 replies

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 20:43

We have family friends with a house in Cornwall and a flat in Plymouth. They use the flat in Plymouth during the week- the dad needs to work Tuesday-Thursday so he comes to Plymouth Monday night and leaves Thursday night, and the mum comes as well so she isn't alone in the Cornwall house. The son, 17, stays full time in the flat in Plymouth where he goes to college. They are spare key holders for my flat as I live in the city, so I go to the flat once a month or so.

There's a large kitchen with a big table, where I'm usually invited to have a cup of tea, and a small sitting room a bit out of the way with two armchairs and a sofa. When the son is alone, he likes to lie on the sofa and watch Netflix on his laptop. It's pretty old and dilapidated, with rips, so he's put cushions and a blanket on it.

The mum wants to get rid of the sofa as it's an eyesore, and add another chair instead- they're not there enough really to warrant the expense of a whole new sofa they don't see or use. I guess occasionally they might invite guests through to the sitting room instead of the kitchen for a cup of tea/drink before dinner, and the sofa looks a bit shabby to do so, but their friends are mostly in Cornwall instead of the city base. That means the son will be sofa less and his only lying down option will be his bedroom, and he likes to keep that screen free to help his sleep. Thinking about it, the mum's well within her rights to get rid of the sofa as it's her house, and I think she's worried about the time the son spends lying down as he's overweight and inactive, but the son is there more often and I guess what he says about not wanting the screen in his room is fair enough, and him not being comfortable wouldn't make him move more. AIBU to raise this or is the mum totally in the right?

OP posts:
titchy · 10/01/2026 21:10

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:09

He's a sixth form student. So quite old enough to be "left alone".

Maybe - but five days a week seems pretty neglectful to me.

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:11

titchy · 10/01/2026 21:10

Maybe - but five days a week seems pretty neglectful to me.

Oh come in, he could be living in his own flat.....he's 17, not 7.

A nd he's not alone five days a week, his mum and dad are there Monday evening through til Friday? He's alone on the weekend only.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/01/2026 21:15

Aren’t they with him in the week and back in Cornwall for weekends? So I don’t think he is alone for 5 days.

I’d mind my own business OP. I’m sure the parents could afford a new sofa if they can run two houses, but maybe some extra council tax is causing pain. If they don’t want a sofa, they don’t have to have one. The boy can choose when he pays the bills.

FrecklyFrog · 10/01/2026 21:15

I think it's odd that you care so much, it's absolutely nothing to do with you.

Ahag · 10/01/2026 21:17

AIBU to raise this
yes yabu and weird to care about someone else’s house furniture. If you are not the son or the parents this is not your business to get involved in, they will be more than capable of working it out without outside help Confused

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:19

To clarify the parents come back on Monday night, leave Thursday night, meaning he's alone Friday-Monday

Oh do stop the posts saying it's nothing to do with me, it's not no but they're family friends and it was a big discussion with the mum and son when I came round. I'm more than likely not going to say anything as yes it's none of my business. The reason I described the decor and where the family hang out is that it's relevant detail that he's not taking over a sitting room they use a lot, for example, but the mum's within her rights to say how she wants it to look

OP posts:
titchy · 10/01/2026 21:20

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:11

Oh come in, he could be living in his own flat.....he's 17, not 7.

A nd he's not alone five days a week, his mum and dad are there Monday evening through til Friday? He's alone on the weekend only.

Edited

The parents are there three nights (Mon, Tue and Wed - they travel back Thur). Yes legal, yes some kids have left home at that age. It’s still, imo, worse than replacing a sofa with an armchair.

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:21

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:19

To clarify the parents come back on Monday night, leave Thursday night, meaning he's alone Friday-Monday

Oh do stop the posts saying it's nothing to do with me, it's not no but they're family friends and it was a big discussion with the mum and son when I came round. I'm more than likely not going to say anything as yes it's none of my business. The reason I described the decor and where the family hang out is that it's relevant detail that he's not taking over a sitting room they use a lot, for example, but the mum's within her rights to say how she wants it to look

But it is such a bizarre thing to get involved with....

I really don't understand why you care so much about his lounging options.

RessicaJabbit · 10/01/2026 21:22

titchy · 10/01/2026 21:20

The parents are there three nights (Mon, Tue and Wed - they travel back Thur). Yes legal, yes some kids have left home at that age. It’s still, imo, worse than replacing a sofa with an armchair.

Well, presumably he's made the choice to move there full time,😅 plus he sees his parents at least half the week, and maybe even goes back home on some weekends etc

It's not like he's been locked out of the family homeland made to sleep in a shed...

Catza · 10/01/2026 21:23

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:19

To clarify the parents come back on Monday night, leave Thursday night, meaning he's alone Friday-Monday

Oh do stop the posts saying it's nothing to do with me, it's not no but they're family friends and it was a big discussion with the mum and son when I came round. I'm more than likely not going to say anything as yes it's none of my business. The reason I described the decor and where the family hang out is that it's relevant detail that he's not taking over a sitting room they use a lot, for example, but the mum's within her rights to say how she wants it to look

Sorry OP but this isn't the most exciting topic of discussion no matter how you spin it. Perhaps, widening your circles a bit and getting a social hobby might help. You need more exciting friends than someone who has "big discussions" about a sofa.

pilates · 10/01/2026 21:24

Oh gawd they’re all out tonight

vipersnest1 · 10/01/2026 21:25

This is a reverse or I’m Donald Trump.

Delphiniumandlupins · 10/01/2026 21:27

I don't understand why you are invested enough to make a thread about it.

I don't understand why the mum thinks her son's weight problem might be alleviated by an armchair. Does sitting watching Netflix burn more calories than lying down watching Netflix? If he's sitting up rather than lying down won't he find it easier to get to his feet and go to the kitchen for more food?

PhantomAfternoonTea · 10/01/2026 21:29

If they get rid of the sofa, he can buy a new one from a charity furniture shop, getting a part time job to fund the purchase if necessary. That's what I'd advise. The parents are unlikely to go to the bother of getting rid of another sofa so soon after the first one.

MagicStarrz · 10/01/2026 21:29

Another one wondering why on earth you're posting about this. It's mundane as it is and it's not even your house or family....

WhoGrant · 10/01/2026 21:31
Confused Little Girl GIF

What?

cherrymauve · 10/01/2026 21:32

Would the sofa fit in his bedroom? Problem solved if so.

ArtesianWater · 10/01/2026 21:40

I can't believe this thread has reached 40+ posts.

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 21:44

I mean... it is quite an adjustment having the only sofa removed from the family home to be honest. I secretly feel quite sad for the teen. I guess he'll adjust and learn to watch TV on his bed, although he says he doesn't want screens in his room which is quite sensible, or the armchair. Was just wondering what other mums of teens thought

OP posts:
Charlize43 · 10/01/2026 21:49

I don't think I could get worked up over someone sorry sofa story... and neither should you.

SliceofTosst · 10/01/2026 22:01

Recliner.

Still not sure why you're so invested though 🤷🏼‍♀️

cramptramp · 10/01/2026 22:06

If he’s 17 and overweight the less time he spends lying horizontally, the better. She should have got rid of it ages ago. But I don’t know if you realise, it is possible to watch Netflix whilst sitting in a chair. Which is what he’ll do.

cotswoldsblue · 10/01/2026 22:12

SliceofTosst · 10/01/2026 22:01

Recliner.

Still not sure why you're so invested though 🤷🏼‍♀️

The mum doesn't want a new sofa there for the son to lie on and cause wear and tear for when she occasionally does want the room to look nice. A recliner he could store in his room but I doubt a teen is spending hundreds on that and dragging it downstairs/upstairs twice a week 😁

Don't think his bedroom is very big, not enough for spare furniture anyway. Maybe if it was foldable he could fit it in his cupboard. I might suggest to him a beanbag as it's more of a lounging option and he could store it in his cupboard when needed!

OP posts:
FaceEatingLeopard · 10/01/2026 22:15

Nope. You're not the family friend. You're the overweight Netflix-watching lazy ass teen. I claim my five pounds.

justpassmethemouse · 10/01/2026 22:18

It’s not like sitting up in the armchair makes you lose weight, but lying on the sofa doesn’t.

The sofa would have to be replaced by a treadmill.

This thread is weird 🤣