Stinky person at the cinema

[Brushbun]

Question: I went to the cinema this weekend and the person sitting next to me arrived late and had a very strong, unpleasant odor, as if they hadn’t washed for some time. I tolerated it for the entire film, even though it was distracting and uncomfortable. At one point I felt so nauseous because they kept moving and shifting the smell.

I considered politely saying something, because it didn’t feel acceptable to me, but I didn’t want to embarrass or offend them, so I chose to endure it instead. Later, I realized that by staying silent, I spent the whole time feeling uncomfortable and offended myself. It was so strong I could see others leaning away too.

What is the appropriate way to handle a situation like this? Is it better to quietly endure the discomfort, or is there a respectful way to address it? Because I spent my hard earned money and this was a treat, I expect it was their hard earned money I know - but surely a wash is minimal in societal standards in a close contact public space?

You’re being unreasonable- suck it up sugar! Life ain’t roses.

You’re not being unreasonable- unacceptable! People who stink should be told as kindly as possible.

Surely that's just the chance you take going to a cinema?
You might be sitting next to someone smelly, or a persistent cougher, or a fidgety child, or somebody eating smoked herring and egg sandwiches!
It's just the luck of the draw, I don't think it's your place to tell random strangers they stink however!

This kind of thing is why I always go to midday showings, and only if I have nice amount of space between me and the great unwashed public!LOL

I get your frustration and it’s one reason why I increasingly prefer to watch movies at home and prefer to eat or have coffees at home.

I have lived in developing nations and I found there despite a lot of poverty and sometimes a lack of running water, all but the most extreme cases of mental health or poverty would make sure they and their kids were smelling fresh, and showered regularly.

But in London you can be on a bus or in a commuter train full of business men and retail workers with designer bags and fancy gadgets etc and theres a smell from at least one person.

But yes unfortunately you just need to suck it up. Maybe her mental health had dipped recently, so despite being quite well groomed in other ways she couldn’t bring herself to shower.

Yes. My point was there isn't a way to handle it that doesn't harm someone else more than you yourself are being harmed so probably just try and move seats?
If it were something like someone being on their phone, that could possibly be solved by confronting them.
But smell? No. Coz there's nothing they can do there and then anyway and also it is usually caused by deeper issues so that's really not going to be solved by confrontation with a stranger

It's a tricky one. From what you have mentioned lack of funds clearly wasn't the issue. Maybe it's a case they have never been shown good hygiene practices as a child or at worst they are just lazy and can't be bothered. It's not good that your film was ruined though.

I wouldn’t have said anything but I would have tried to move and probably quietly stewed if I couldn’t move!

Generally people don’t smell themselves the same way I think so this person probably doesn’t realize.

I work with the smelliest colleague I have ever worked with and as a nurse I have a strong nose! It is the most revolting smell ever and I find myself suffering it because I don’t want to offend her. My colleagues I’ve spoken to feel the same, it is utterly ridiculous. I will speak to my boss but they have been off so no opportunity. I find myself going for a walk and sitting freezing with windows open to reduce the smell, also using strong hand cream. I’m far too polite and awkward for my own good!

i don’t disagree that mental illness can present in many different ways, and I’m not disputing your professional experience. My point is simply that we don’t know and that cuts both ways.

I wasn’t making assumptions about the person, and equally I don’t think it’s helpful to assume severe trauma or illness either. I was asking about how to handle discomfort in a shared public space when you don’t know the reason, not about judging why someone might smell.

In this situation - there are specific dates and times for those with any form of difficulty. This was a standard showing of the film and at least 8 people were very clearly struggling to hold in their discomfort. Is that fair?

For me, the takeaway is probably moving seats or quietly speaking to staff, rather than confronting the person or silently enduring it.

I can't tolerate smelly people so if there were no spare seats to move to I'd have left and asked for a refund.

This is exactly it! I’m not a horrible person I promise and that’s why I just put up with it. The smell wasn’t BO it was that deep intense smell of not washing at all for a long time. But I absolutely would die at the thought of upsetting someone. But the longer it went on the more I thought about how ultimately more of us were suffering in that moment from the smell. Anyway. I haven’t been to the cinema in years and I probably won’t go back 😆

This happened to me except I was watching a musical at a West End theatre, my seat cost in excess of £100. The lady sat next to me smelt of a combination of old urine and general grime/sweat/unwashed. It was pretty horrible and I just had to lean into the other person sat next to me - my 9 year old to try and get away from the smell! There was nothing I could do as the show had started, it was a full house and I was with my family consisting partly of 2 teenagers who would have been mortified if I’d have complained. In the interval I could see that the woman clearly had learning difficulties. I enjoyed the show but it definitely marked the whole experience 🫤

Such a shame! Very expensive for you too 😩 my three tickets were £18 so not the end of the world. But frustrating for sure.

@Brushbunthanks yes definitely frustrating as just one of those things that’s unlucky and not a lot anyone can do about it! 😫

I can't put up with smelly people, I really can't. I would have left, explained the situation to management and asked for a ticket to another screening. Maybe the person can't help it, maybe there is a good reason - doesn't mean I have to endure it.

Always handy to have a vicks nose sniffer in your bag! Xxx

What a golden piece of advice that is! 😆 thank you!

People can't smell themselves. It's horrible but true. So even had you pointed out the smell to the lady concerned she would just have denied it was her.

I used to serve people in the shop - one man clearly had continence problems and absolutely STANK of stale urine, to the extent that other customers would move away and you could smell him as soon as he came in. Another smoked so frantically inside his car that he smelled like an ancient ashtray. Both of these people were completely unaware that they smelled at all and everyone was too relentlessly polite to mention it. Besides, there wasn't much they could do, I doubted Smoking Man was going to give up just to smell nicer, and the man with the continence problem would just have changed his clothes but he still would have smelled awful.

I thought I could just sniff the inside of my hat that smelt of shampoo and deal with it. Just didn’t bank on the person moving and flicking her hair so much 🥲

I had the same thing at the ballet. I ended up next to a smelly man. I'm not sure what you can do about it though. It's bloody annoying - but it's a mental health problem i suppose.

What was the film? I haven’t encountered a full cinema since Titanic in 1999

If I wasn’t able to change seats, I’d have left. There’s no way I could sit next to a stinky person.

At my old gym there was a guy who never washed himself or his gym clothes. For some reason just refused to.

It was the first time i realised how badly people could actually smell. You could smell him as soon as you reached the stairs and he stunk out the entire floor. Gag inducing and so anti social. The staff regularly told him to leave.

I woyld have complained and either got a refund or they should have told him to leave. I am sure they do that at some conventions.

I would have left.

If it’s a family owned small place I’d probably have explained the situation and ask/hope if I could return on a different session.

I think it’s really anti-social and selfish. Like farting right next to someone in public. Someone should tell them but in all honesty I wouldn’t have. I feel like this is where family and friends need to step up and say something.

I am glad the staff told him to leave. It may not be his fault as such if he has mental health problems, but many people come to the gym to improve their own mental heath and it’s really discouraging if there’s a stench.

I would have swapped seats with my partner. He never regained his sense of smell after Covid.

But seriously, I would have just asked for a refund.

I have a really sensitive sense of smell and this is why I aways book an end seat at the cinema. To me, everyone smells, some people more than others. There’s no way I would tell anyone they smell though.

A while ago a friend booked cinema tickets in a middle row and I struggle for the whole film due to a smelly man next to me. I didn’t say anything to anyone. How would you tell a stranger they stink?