Angry woman on plane, Was we BU?

[Raynaud]

7 hour flight with DH and DS(4). As soon as seatbelt lights went off DH fully reclined exhausted DSs seat so he could sleep. The woman behind snapped at DH to put the seat back up as drinks would be coming around soon. DH said no as drinks currently not being served. She called him a selfish twat to her OH.
Drinks/snacks start coming around. Woman tells DH to put the seat back up. DH put the seat back up half way so to not wake DS. She tells him to put it fully up. He tells her DS is sleeping. Her OH then tells her to speak to steward which she does. Steward asks DH to put the seat back up - he tells her DS is sleeping. I tell him to just put it back up, he again says DS is sleeping. Air Steward starts getting pissed off, I snap at DH to put the bloody seat up. He does so reluctantly and DS does not wake.

Once everything is cleared away he puts the seat fully back again. The woman complains that he’s doing that out of badness because “the kid” is still asleep. Her OH confirms that yes, DH is a twat.

My take on it is that both were being unreasonable at different times. My sister however says this was all on DH.

Unpopular on MN opinion. If a seat reclines and you want to recline it, crack on. If you don't want to be reclined onto, pay extra for the privilege and get a bulkhead or business class seat.

"Steward asks DH to put the seat back up - he tells her DS is sleeping. I tell him to just put it back up, he again says DS is sleeping. Air Steward starts getting pissed off".

I cannot believe your husband didn't just do what the steward told him first time round. They have to put up with so much crap from some passengers. I'd have been so furious with him for embarrassing you all.

The degree of additional comfort afforded to the seat holder of a reclined seat is minimal really. Also your child continued to sleep even when the seat wasn't reclined, so it clearly didnt make that much difference to them

Being behind a reclined seat however is pretty uncomfortable, especially for an adult, as the space available is minimal even when seats are upright.

Your partner was within his rights not to put the seat upright until required to do so (ie when drinks being served) although I'd have been pretty fed up as the adult behind that seat. Their passive agressive comments were rude though and didn't help the situation at all. For your partner to dig his heels in when requested by staff to put the seat upright was completely unreasonable and yes, twattish behaviour.

Must have been a joy for those seated around you all to have to witness.

DS used to kick the seat in front. We dealt with this by placing his father in the suffering seat.
Your husband, or you, should have offered to sit behind the reclined seat.

The objective party here is the air steward. If he was annoyed at your DH, then your DH was unreasonable. He sounds a bit like your DH was throwing his weight around as he didnt like the woman asking him not to do something.

The couple behind you were right - your husband is a twat.

I see both sides of this one. I am a flight attendant and nothing makes me roll my eyes more than seat recline arguments. Your DH is totally within his rights to recline your son’s seat, regardless of how old DS is, who wants to sleep in an upright seat. Aircraft seats are designed to recline and the couple behind could recline theirs if they wished too. I do fully agree that the seats should be upright during bar and meal services although through the rest of the flight your husband didn’t do anything wrong. Anyone who doesn’t want a seat reclining into their space needs to pay the extra to be seated at a front row or in a premium cabin imo.

How would the DH have reacted if the person in front of him had reclined their seat and refused to put it up during the drinks service?

Yep your DH is the issue here

He does so reluctantly and DS does not wake.

Of course he didn't because he's FOUR. He could probably sleep on a knife's point at that age.

I am an unapologetic recliner. But, like most adults, this is because I can''t sleep or relax in an upright position. Your son has amply proved that he can so there is no need to play musical recliners in this situation.

Your husband is just petty for petty's sake. Probably gets off on any power trip, no matter how small and pointless.

Thank you for your measured and factually correct response.

Some of the posters on MN are batshit.

A 4yo does not need their seat reclining. Your dh was a twat and I agree with your dsis.

I personally hate seats being reclined it greatly reduces the space the person has behind.
You both sounds thoughtless.

A four year old doesn’t need the seat reclining and of course seats should be upright during food and drinks service. Your DH was a twat.

Oh FGS

he's 4! Most adults would be able to sleep in the seat sitting up without that happening.

Your husband is an arsehole. His behaviour was just embarrassing and made you look like a scummy family. I'm sorry he humiliated you like that, I'd have been furious.

Yes I agree it’s irritating but not an offence (unlike the language the woman was using).

for some people, that flight could have been hour 20 of a day of travelling.

@DrPrunesqualer

Night is set by the flight crew
If you’re crossing time zones they put the lights out, blinds shut and the lights back on again in accordance with the time zone you’ll be arriving in

Be interested know what airlines have that as an official policy..doing that as routine would cause serious problems and grief on late evening departures out of London for somewhere like Singapore and elsewhere in the Far East...you'd be putting the lights on about an hour or two into the flight...

Usually on flights, day or night, the cabin crew encourage blinds down after the initial meal service to help those whose sleep has been stuffed up by time zone changes/connections, whatever to catch up on Z'ds (also sometimes it also helps make the IFE more visible), and only really insist on blinds up just prior to arrival be it AM, PM or night time local time.

Yep. All on your twat of a DH.

Everyone knows that seats must be fully up when any refreshments are served. Including the cabin crew, who were also clearly pissed off.

I would imagine he or she was annoyed at the situation not the husbands reclining the seat. He just wanted to de escalate it.

I was just on a ten hour flight and a teenager in front of me tried to recline from the off. We had just been served drinks, and he did it so violently, and without looking that my drink nearly went flying all over me. I asked him not to while we were having drinks and food and he clearly wasn't happy in him and his mum had a little snipe to themselves about it but eventually when everyone went to sleep and everyone reclined which was all fine, but then in the morning, he got up walking around and was just generally stood around the plane and never put his seat up, and I had to ask him to again.And that was just cf.

You cannot just recline, because chairs recline, unless you are a completely entitled narcissist.

Plane seats are designed to recline. The trays still work. I think it’s fair enough to recline.

I genuinely didn’t think people reclined their seats these days.

My understanding is you’re only expected to have your seat upright for any drinks/dinner service, outside of that you’re allowed to have your seat reclined. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable… I can’t imagine calling someone a “twat” because they moved their seat back because they had a sleeping small child. Maybe I’m too soft but I don’t begrudge people reclining their seats I thought it was the norm?

I hate being behind someone reclining. Your DH was a twat. Luckily people don't stay reclined in front of me for long as I get horribly, violently travel sick, even with meds. Having someone projectile vomiting into a bag, less than a foot from your head is apparently not conducive to rest.