Angry woman on plane, Was we BU?

[Raynaud]

7 hour flight with DH and DS(4). As soon as seatbelt lights went off DH fully reclined exhausted DSs seat so he could sleep. The woman behind snapped at DH to put the seat back up as drinks would be coming around soon. DH said no as drinks currently not being served. She called him a selfish twat to her OH.
Drinks/snacks start coming around. Woman tells DH to put the seat back up. DH put the seat back up half way so to not wake DS. She tells him to put it fully up. He tells her DS is sleeping. Her OH then tells her to speak to steward which she does. Steward asks DH to put the seat back up - he tells her DS is sleeping. I tell him to just put it back up, he again says DS is sleeping. Air Steward starts getting pissed off, I snap at DH to put the bloody seat up. He does so reluctantly and DS does not wake.

Once everything is cleared away he puts the seat fully back again. The woman complains that he’s doing that out of badness because “the kid” is still asleep. Her OH confirms that yes, DH is a twat.

My take on it is that both were being unreasonable at different times. My sister however says this was all on DH.

I'll have to look out for this flew ba in October didn't see anything. good if it's being implemented

This is selfish for the person behind you, they can't use the in-flight entertainment screen if you're reckoned the whole time and they have less space. For a night flight only would this be ok.

If you need to recline constantly then you need to pay for business or first.

Airplane seats have so little room these days. When someone in front of you reclines their seat, it encroaches into what little personal space you have. As a minimum, I think good manners and common sense would suggest asking the person behind if they mind. To just do it without regard for others is selfish and is, I guess, symptomatic of how your husband views other people. The world would be a lot worse if everyone behaved like this. I don't actually have an issue with the language of the woman behind. Would being polite to your rude husband have worked? Someone I doubt it.

Going to go against the grain here…

the seats recline so they are there to be reclined. Despite most this thread being full of people who have their own weird etiquette about reclining seats there are no rules, they recline and you can recline them. Doesn’t matter how old your son is he is equally entitled to be comfortable in his seat, which relines, as anyone else.

DH was unreasonable to argue with the hostess though.

He should at least have waited to recline the seat until after the meal and drinks were finished and it would have been polite to say to the people behind "we've had an early start, DS is tired and he needs a nap, do you mind if we put the seat back for him"

If it's not an overnight flight, you are totally BU to expect to have a seat reclined for the whole flight. Very selfish and inconsiderate.

At this point I am over this argument, having tried to be the better person and not recline even on long haul flights after one too many times stuck behind the person that recline on takeoff and goes right to sleep while I remain upright to be considerate, I now recline when appropriate on night flights. Won’t do it on a short one but fair game otherwise. I try to pick and if necessary pay for seats that avoid this problem but it isn’t always possible

Where does this insane idea that you should never recliner your seat to be polite to the person behind come from. I couldn't care less if the person in front of me recliner, the tv's tilt and if I need to I recline too. I've never encountered anyone who hasn't put their seat up during mealtimes either.

Are these anti recline people the same ones who refuse to merge in turn?

Agreed, it's an unspoken social rule that you just don't recline them because it's horrible for the person sat behind, but actually this is on the airline for providing reclining seats that aren't useable and then having stewards ask people not to use that feature.

Aside from that your dh was being very unreasonable. You could have easily worked round it with no need to recline he was just doubling down.

Its horrible sitting behind a reclined seat on a long day flight when stuff is happening. Different after all service is done on a night flight when most of them are reclined and the lights are off.

Your DH sounds like a bloody minded, selfish idiot.

Oh I’m going against the grain here. I think it was fine to recline the seat for a child who was sleeping.

If your DH had done it for himself, different story, but I’d never complain about a child being made comfortable.

Why does the seat need to be fully reclined for a 4 year old? I don’t understand. They’re not particularly tall at that age, fully reclining it is just done to piss off the passengers in the back surely, as their body isn’t changing position much by being upright or fully reclined given their short/compressed torso.

I think he’s being a shit dad by dragging his kid into drama and complaints, particularly once he saw the child remained asleep upright and when staff had also made a request. I think he was just using your son as a tool to prove he was right, not because he cared about your son. Total performance parenting.

oh boo hoo.
One night's bad sleep due to a plane journey would not kill him

This!

Nonsense. If their 4 year old child needed to stretch out to sleep then they could have raised their arm rests and let him lie across both their laps. I am sure he would have been very comfortable. Oh, but that would have inconvenienced the OP and her knob head DH rather than the passenger behind.

No I think your husband was the unreasonable one. I think there's a reason why my husband is unwilling to fly economy!

Cabin lights dimmed = recline

Plane operators should have a lock on recline. Allowing it at set times to avoid the drama.

This was a morning flight. Ds could have put head one parent's lap and feet on other parent's lap.

The DH was/is a dick

It was morning.

even more unreasonable then

Your DH was being an obstructive prick.

Were you both sat next to your son? In which case perhaps your DH could have volunteered to swap seats and sit with basically your son's seat in his lap for a seven hour flight with no chance to eat, drink or sit comfortably, and let the other paying passenger have his seat which had no obstructions at all?

Your husband is a selfish idiot. A child does not need a seat reclined and even if they did, full recline is unreasonable for all passengers.

I prefer to let sleeping children lie and as a mum of three, including an autistic MrT type child (shout out to the Dutch who were always fab with him) I would have been your perfect seat companion behind. Headphones in, smiled and waved and been grateful your crotch goblin was not awake. ;-)

I'm all in favour of reclining, even the whole flight, but I do know you don't recline until after the first meal service is complete. The husband here ITA though and was just trying to be the boss. The biggest evidence of his being a general AH in life is that he argued with the staff when told to put it up. I suspect he's not an easy person to have as a colleague, family member, husband, father or friend.

You are married to a nasty selfish horror.

If it makes marginal difference to comfort (which isn’t true) then surely the same can be said to any difference it makes to the passenger behind the reclined seat?