Would you inform the school?

[Winterstorms2]

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

someone working in a supermarket is really not the same.but yes if an assault occurred i would

"Discussion" or "confrontation" ?

The kids at my son's school are always being told that they are representing the school at all times, especially when they are in uniform, even out of school hours, so why should it be a different rule for teachers? However, I think your friend should report to the police rather than the school and leave it to them to decide what to do next. You don't know what they were arguing about and what happened exactly, you weren't there, so you really shouldn't get involved, leave it to your friend to take things further. I understand you being upset as I wouldn't like someone who thought spitting at people in anger was acceptable behaviour being in a position of trust with my children, shaping their minds etc but if your friend feels she's been assaulted then it should be her and only her who reports it to the police.

It’s not about your friend not being believed because the person who assaulted her is a teacher, it’s the fact there surely isn’t any proof other than he said/she said.
You seem to have a very unhealthy dislike of teachers.
I also don’t know anybody in my circle that is scared of teachers!

No you're not, you're hoping you can cost her her job by reporting it and playing up the idea that she's somehow unfit to be around children to justify yourself. If you want to be a bitch then go ahead and be a bitch but don't pretend you're coming at this from a place of virtue.

This thread is wild! I’ve never seen such a strident defence of teachers on MN lol.

I doubt a teacher would lose their job over spitting, it might be a staff conduct issue which OPs friend will not be permitted to know about - I think I would tell it the school I was OPs friend mainly because it would be extremely awkward to maintain a parent/teacher relationship when the teacher had spat at you, and the HT could mitigate that by something like establishing a comms plan if the teacher is the class teacher.

So true! I worked in a bar that a lot of teachers booked for their staff nights out and they were always absolutely unhinged. They made the freshers look like angles.

This is so weird. Of course if you or your friend was spat at, you should report it to police. If there is CCTV camera and workers around (who I assume are neutral) then the police will do what they need to with that. If the third party witnesses have been involved in these historic grievances against the teacher or have some biases or there is no evidence other than their word that she spat, the police can't do anything with that, nor can the school.

I struggle to think why a teacher who had had complaints from a group of parents (maliciously or not) would be hanging around with them in public. The only reason this could have occurred if she was confronted or harassed in public. If you said that there is CCTV footage then this will be easy. Spitting is utterly unacceptable and disgusting and people should absolutely be called out on it. She will absolutely be reprimanded by her school as she should. This is the only action you need to take. You don't need to worry about anything more if your friend has reported everything and has evidence she can show the police/school. Just make sure you are separating factual information from your personal grudges against the teacher.

I think they would be similar. The advice would be that if your friend felt threatened or in danger, then she should go to the police. Which was the advice you got?
Ultimately a women spat on her 'friend', it was not on school premises or directing affecting the pupils. Everyone has a certain level of conduct to uphold, as stated by the laws of our country. Their profession is only relevant if it has direct implications - such as if she was observed being rough with or intentionally harming a child, something which linked to abusing the power linked to their role.

So the teacher spat?
Wow! That’s disgraceful behaviour from a professional who spends a great deal of time presenting themselves as a role model for kids.

I actually can’t think of a time in my entire life I would literally be so lost for words that I resorted in spitting at someone!

If deciding on whether to let the school know which type of person they have on their books, I would decide depending on what the argument was about tbh. If just a trivial thing, then yes, absolutely unacceptable to reach that level of assault, but say for instance your friend had slept with teacher’s husband then I think she got off lightly and no I wouldn’t inform the school.

This. There is never any excuse for spitting, but I do wonder what the friend said which upset the teacher. It may not be something which OP's friend wants everyone to know about! If it was related to her child or the school, then she would have made an appt to discuss it with the teacher and maybe the head at school during school hours, so I presume it's something personal/historical between them which is in no way related to the teachers job. And is therefore a private matter.

Where has anyone said the behaviour is fine?

Are you deliberately misreading?

Ah, the truth finally comes out!!!!!!

It is personal, very personal. About you and your feelings about this person.

I feel very sorry for her with someone so obsessed after her.

really no need to feel sorry for such a person believe me shes an awful awful human being

Yeah I'd be reporting that incident to the head of the school. Simply because if her child is in the same school, there is a clash there.
The school should be made aware of the type of people they have working with their children and the fact that your friends child attends this school just puts the nail in the coffin.
She needs to email the head teacher and explain what happened and request that the teacher has nothing to do with the child. Hopefully the teacher will be suspended pending enquiries.
I'd also report it to the police to put it on her record at the very least, as it is assault.

Ah, so you know her very well personally then? To know what type of person she is.

Sounds like this is absolutely nothing to do with concerns regarding your child and nothing at all to do with this ladies teaching abilities or anything connected to school, as that would addressed in the school and not in a random 'public place'.

So yes I also feel sorry for her, it sounds like there is a group of parents who have focused a bit too much of their (negative) energies on her.

Despite being asked many times you haven't revealed the specific topic of this conversation, which is quite telling in itself. Maybe your friend didn't tell you, or maybe once revealed you feel people would side more with the teacher.

As a governor having seen what some parents put teachers through, I would love to hear her side of the story. There have definitely been times when parents have embarked on what can only be described as a witch hunt against teachers, often as a response to a child doing something they shouldn't have and parents refusing to believe their child is anything but perfect. A couple have had to be banned from the site due to aggressive behaviour.

What has this teacher allegedly done to put multiple parents/children "through hell"? What warrants her being a "truly awful awful human being" as you put it that would warrant a confrontation of said teacher in public that would lead to such an altercation? Safeguarding issue? Abuse? Extreme Bullying?

Well i can assure you that is not the case here and I resent the implication.

Yes I would say her behaviour could be described as bullying, if not intentional intimidation

I doubt a teacher would lose their job over spitting

If she was charged with assault and received a caution/other consequence, then that would have to be declared to the school and may affect the DBS or conditions of employment.

shes an awful awful human being

Yet your friend is friends with her?!

Are you the friend? Did the teacher spit in your face? What did you say to her?

Ye there's absolutely no alternate motive here at all...

Well no, its a shitty person doing shitty things and getting away with them in a goading manner simply because she thinks she is untouchable. The motive is to not allow such a shitty person teach our children to be shitty people by showing her she cannot get away with things

If this is the case, why haven't you reported THAT behaviour to the headteacher?