To not want to go to USA?

[DalekStarmer]

DH and I used to go to the states every year on holiday. Different places each time - we loved it. This stopped during Covid when our holiday to Montana was cancelled. After Covid we planned to go back but ended up cancelling due to various things. Anyway, DH is keen to get back to our US trips and wanted to go last year. I said I didn’t fancy it due to Trump and the new hostile attitude towards foreigners. I said I’d consider it this year … now I’m even less in favour of it. It just doesn’t feel safe at all. DH is disappointed. AIBU?

@WhatIsTheCharge

Where I lived is also a hot-bed for human trafficking (mostly for sex trade), and supermarket/store parking lots are a very popular hunting ground for traffickers. There’s a whole system/checklist that lone women of a certain age and mothers with children go through, particularly when returning to our cars with a shopping trolley full of stuff because that’s when traffickers are known to strike in that area

That’s horrific. Who is doing it?

I am an old. I cant go along to marches and protest like I did in my 20s. I am appalled by the USA so the only thing I feel I can do to show my complete disgust with their war mongering behaviour is to refuse to visit there and give them my money. If everyone did this as well as selling any USA bonds or stocks and shares that they have then this would really hit them where it hurts and where most people in power care about - in the pocket.

I am encouraging all my family and friends to do the same. a kind of peaceful protest and just something I think we could all do.

I am also writing to my MP to ask why the stance against what he is doing isnt more robust.

and I know there will be some on here who will say "wow I bet donald is really upset mummymeister isnt visiting!" but small actions by a lot of people can make a big difference. In all honesty, my greatest fear is war and that if someone looks like a tyrant and behaves like a tyrant then what else are they.

I think the awful news today shows even being white with an american accent doesn’t mean you are safe.
It beggars belief that anybody still considers America as a nice holiday destination.

Why not go to the west coast of Canada instead? It's absolutely stunning and I definitely preferred it to anywhere I've been in the states.

Taormina is stunningly beautiful but swamped with tourists in the summer. I also hate how Italians insist on littering their beaches with ugly blue, metal loungers so there's not an inch between them and the only space where you don't have to pay is tiny. Other med countries are the same in some spots but Italians are the worst IMO. Cefalu probably has the same issues although it looks beautiful in the pictures - we didn't go though.

Agrigento is amazing if you like historic sites and the town is not too crazy as people go straight to the ruins on day tours a lot. We also liked Palermo although some people find it too rough around the edges for their taste.

100% agree. Everyone needs to cut off any source of income to the US they can be that large or small amounts.

So we lived in an odd area, in that prostitution is legal in the state itself, but illegal within the city limits of my city…..but the city is where the tourists and the money is.
The pimps know that tourists (particularly drunk tourists) aren’t going to want to pay for an Uber 40 minutes out to the legal brothels etc so they bring the sex trade to them. What the illegality within the city limits, the only prostitutes you see on the streets are in the “rough” area of the city, away from the high-end hustle and bustle. The rest work for pimps who do all their trade underground and a huge proportion of those women are trafficked, either from neighbouring states or from the local area.
An investigative journalist did a piece a while ago about the illegal sex trade in my city, and was astounded to find how many local police officers were actually involved in it. It’s easy to see how it’s carried on for so long unchecked 😔

Nope - all on my Hs no go list . Although we have been to Morocco (2008) and Egypt (2010) and UAE (2011 ) Istanbul (2013) not in a rush to go back to any although in all fairness I did enjoy Marrakech and Istanbul ( really liked that) - I know others don’t .

@WhatIsTheCharge you don’t have a link to the article do you? Or the name so I can google?

This is the kind of story I would think came from someplace like Nicaragua, not the US.

Disclaimer - I know nothing about Nicaragua, it’s just that if you had said ‘when I lived in Nicaragua…..’ then I would have thought ‘oh that’s awful’ but I wouldn’t have been surprised I don’t think.

I can’t remember the journalist’s name, but there was also an undercover police officer involved in the exposè.

I’ll go through my history and try to find it - pretty sure it was MIL who sent me the link!

Wait out…….

We cancelled plans to go at the end of last year, for me it's about personal ethics

or Greenland!

To be fair I’d rather go to America than any of these places. I went to Turkey once years ago, was constantly harassed by disgusting men and actually locked in a coffee shop by a creep who decided to put on “romantic” music for me - yes because being locked in somewhere against your will is always a turn on 🙄 disgusting awful people.

And have a penis

We were annual US travellers too to different places just like yourself but there's no way we're going anywhere near America until the madman is long gone and things have settled down considerably.

On the plus side there are many places much more wonderful to explore.

Taormina is stunningly beautiful but swamped with tourists in the summer.

Ah, we went in October. Summer would have been far too hot for me!

Also true.

It must be on the previous page where I explained this.

The short answer: Pimps.

Prostitution is legal in licensed establishments in my state, but illegal within the city limits of the city I was living in. Pimps still cater to tourists (and locals I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️) who aren’t going to drive miles and miles out to the legal establishments, and they do that through having a steady stream of trafficked labour readily available to them.

Italy has a right wing government led by Georgia Meloni's 'Brothers of Italy'. They have clamped down hard on illegal immigration.

By all means, don't go to the USA if you want to demonstrate your disdain for Trump. Just be aware that plenty of other countries are swinging hard right at the moment.

Some ways to stay safe in America. Don't enter illegally and don't put yourself in dangerous situations. I live in a very mixed community. No one is scared someone's coming to get them.

Do you (1) WANT to go on this hypothetic future trip to the USA but you're afraid of being turned away on arrival, being detained for longer than is reasonable and/or in harsh conditions, or you or your husband being shot or otherwise intentionally injured or killed? Or (2) DEFINITELY NOT want to go to the USA this year, but feel bad about disappointing your husband who expected to go and still wants to go?

If it's 1, I'd be clear about both the real risks/downsides and your own fears (what is DIFFERENT this year?) so that you can evaluate whether they're sufficient to say you shouldn't go (what's the point of a holiday where you're worried/on edge all the time?) AND explain clearly to your husband if you decide it's a no. My sense (I'm in the USA) is that most of the things you might be worried about specifically now are statistically unlikely to impact you (and some you can eliminate altogether) but the real or perceived risk MAY still be too great for you, and that's OK. There's also the question of whether it's ethical to go; that's a personal decision but if it's important to you it's fine to act on it - believe me, there are many US citizens living in the USA who are actively trying to reduce overall participation in the US economy and/or minimise financial support of the federal government and its projects.

If it's 2 (or if it's 1 and you ultimately decide you can't go) I'd try to qualify/quantify what you both loved about your previous USA trips (keep in mind, there have been other changes since the start of COVID which are independent of and preceded the current administration) and brainstorm other possible trips.

If, say, it's the combo of diverse wild/adventurous places + local culture + big diverse cities + ease of getting around then you might try to replicate parts of the experience with someplace like Canada, Australia, New Zealand (more "familiar" feeling) but Chile and/or Argentina/Uruguay could also be a good bet, or Japan, or South Africa. (Obv some of these don't work if you want a really summery trip and need to go in northern hemisphere summer, but would still be very workable in their own right - and maybe nicer and more relaxed due to be less crowded and less expensive than high season). If the "big trip"/medium-to-long haul aspect isn't important, maybe Spain/Portugal, France, Norway (and beyond, if you want), or the Adriatic coast or Baltic coast (and nearby cities, if you want an urban element)?

If the USA is out for this year, find another place to focus on so you're planning a great, new, exciting trio, rather than trying to justify saying no to a trip that probably wouldn't be exactly what your husband (and you) hope for and remember.

Italy has a right wing government led by Georgia Meloni's 'Brothers of Italy'. They are clamping down hard on illegal immigration.

Why do so many countries get a free pass while people fixate on the USA?

Because the USA is run by a crazy, orange megalomaniac who courts publicity, is contravening international law and human rights and invading other countries...and because their global position makes his antics much more
likely to affect the rest of the world?

YANBU- it’s your choice and I understand why you’re making it but the reality of going on holiday in the US is different to how you’re imagining it might be. I live in the US and as far as I know, nothing has changed. Yes, people who hold extreme views have been emboldened but you’re unlikely to encounter many of those on vacation. Americans love tourists.

@WhatIsTheCharge- Where was this?. I e heard lots of social media's hype about this young women crying on Tick-tock that they almost got abducted in the Micheals parking lot. There is no actual evidence this ever happens and a few of them have actually faced charges for wasting police time because when you dig a little deeper its made up.

YANBU. There are so many amazing places to visit in the world - why go to the same country year after year? I wouldn't want to give the Trump administration any of my tourist dollars, either.