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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TO BE REALLY P*SS*D OFF!!

87 replies

joash · 12/06/2008 12:49

Three months ago, I approached my GP about having a gastric band fitted. He did say that I woule probably be turned down as I am to young (I am 44); I don't weigh enough (I weigh 27 stones) and I do not have any illness of informity to do with my weight. He said that he would be willing to 'fight my corner' and back me all the way as I have tried every single way imaginable to lose weight.

Got a call from a friend of mine yesterday (she weighs less than I do, is 27 years old and has a major heart complaint) - her GP has offered her obesity surgery they are not even supposed to consider it if the patient has heart problems.

Anyway, I went to see my GP today to ask if he had heard back from whomever he wrote to and he admitted that he hadn't even bothered to recommend me as he felt that I should persevere with the diet etc. I have been on orlistat and weightwatchers (again) since feb/mar and have not lost one pound!!
I am totally pissed off and very angry.

Does anyone know if there i anyway of going over his head or would I be better changing GP's and finding one who is likely to keep his/her word?

OP posts:
alittleone2 · 12/06/2008 12:52

Message withdrawn

joash · 12/06/2008 13:01

God - here we go again;

Can't even be arsed to write it all again So here is a post from a previous thread;

I do not eat between meals, and do not eat enormous portions. I do not have binges, I do not eat fried foods, I have cooked low fat meals for around 20 years or so, I do not have any emotional problems, I do not eat unless I am hungry. Sometimes, on days when I am very busy, I even forget to eat and it's only when my DH comes in and I comment how crap I feel that he asks what I've eaten today - that I realise that I haven't actually eaten.

My DD's, although once thin are now starting to increase in size very quickly, they are both around the age that I was when my weight started to increase dramatically. My DS eats for bloody England and is over 6ft tall and skinny. My GS, is the only 5 year old that runs round the supermarket pestering for things like broccoli or boxes of raisins instead of sweets. On going through some old family photo's, I found pictures of my great grandmother (in her mid 40's)who I am the spitting image of (size and all) - the likeness is unbelievable and her grandmother who was also very big. Both women were thin until their early 20's and obviously neither had access to todays types of foods. So it would seem that the 'fat' gene is inherent in the female side of my family.

I was thin (not skinny) up to 26 years ago when I went on the pill. I gained 6 stones in 6 months and was taken off it - thats where my weight gain started. I have been on just about every 'diet' that you can name. Three times, over those years I have joined 'weightwatchers' type groups - I lost exactly 3 stones and gained between five and six back on coming off the diet. I have done 'online' dieting, and following the diet plans exactly, managed to gain weight both times. I have kept eating diaries that people think are 'made-up', I have twice participated in research to see how little I have to eat before losing any weight (one hospital based where everything I ate was monitored for a fortnight), I did not lose weight in either. However, last year I was on was the Cambridge diet, and I did loose over 40lbs in a couple of weeks and then the weight loss just stopped - I could not lose a pound more, I persevered with it and nothing else would shift. I have since regained that weight plus another 10lbs.

I now do more exercise than I have since I left school (28 years ago) yet am still growing widthways.

I am so sick of the smug thin people and wonder how they would feel if one of the people close to them was obese and verbally abused or patronised in the street (or on the internet), shouted at from passing cars, turned down for jobs simply on the basis of the way they looked, ignored when moving to a new area, looked at as if they were something that had been trod in, asked why their DH's are with them when the DH could have someone better (read thinner), or turned down for medical treatment just because they are overweight.

When I posted the stuff above I was actively participating in 4 hour long aqua aerobic sessions a week and two 1 & 1/2 hour swim sessions. I still do that and now also use the treadmill for 30 mins a day every day; exercise bike for 20 mins every day in addition to the two mile walk to school and back twice a day - 5 days a week; at weekends we all do a 7 mile walk to the beach on saturdays and a 4 mile walk on sundays(and not including everything else I do that is not specifically planned exercise) every day. I still have not lost a f*cking pound. SO please don't patronise me with "...have you exercised, ate smaller portions,..." rubbish underpinned by assumptons that all fat people sit stuffing their faces with enormous mounds of greasy fried food and cream buns all day long.

OP posts:
Alambil · 12/06/2008 13:05

Joash, weightwatchers really doesn't work well - I've tried them ALL and the ONLY one I've lost weight on (2 stone in 12 weeks - SAFELY) is the Low Gi one.

Try it - nothing to lose, eh? It's basically no caffeine, no bread, no wheat, no carbs after lunch (and very small amounts then) and upping your exersize; sounds trickier than it is.

A typical day is: porridge for breakfast with a teaspoon of Manuka honey in, 2 Ryvita salad and a bit of chicken or ham for lunch and then chicken, turkey or fish (only the size of your palm) and as much veg - no root veg though; no potatoes, sweet tatties, parsnips etc... as you can pile on your plate. 6-8 glasses of water for drinks per day and handfulls of dried cranberries twice a day for snacks (they are a lot sweeter than they seem so a handful goes a long way)

Try it mate - it really does work and fast; I lost 7lbs in my first week. Am just starting it again so we can do it together if you'd like?

bethoo · 12/06/2008 13:05

have you been tested for an underactive thyriod? dont have a go only trying to help.

Alambil · 12/06/2008 13:07

oh I forgot - you can have one day off a week to stuff your face have a break and do 20mins at least excersize to get sweaty a day (if you ain't sweaty, it ain't good enough)

also, xpost with your last post so sorry if I've said something you've said

TheHedgeWitch · 12/06/2008 13:07

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LooptheLoop · 12/06/2008 13:07

Joash

Don't know about the medical side so can't comment on your friend's situation. But can see that from your perspective that really sucks and things must seem pretty unfair.

Perhaps a different doctor's opinion might help?

Sorry can't offer better advice but sending you a hug...

motherhurdicure · 12/06/2008 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Alambil · 12/06/2008 13:10

me again - just so you know, I'm currently around 18 stone, but at my heaviest, I was 22 stone so I truly know how you feel about being looked at like a piece of shit instead of a human being...

endymion · 12/06/2008 13:11

Oh Joash

It must be incredibly frustrating and depressing. If I were you I'd go back to the GP again and demand a referral. He said he would, and it is a complete let-down for him to then decide not to without telling you.

From what you've posted, you refer to possible genetic link. I have friend who is similar in that she, her mother, and her grandmother were all normal weight until late 20s and then all became much larger when older. But if it's a genetic/heredity thing, and your calorie/fat consumption is so low, and my goodness you do heaps of exercise, how would the gastric band help? I thought it restricted the amount one could eat, and the type of food. BUt if you've got that covered already, would it work? Just asking out of interest really.

Good luck.

poorbuthappy · 12/06/2008 13:12

Get the name of your friends GP who has referred her and go back to your GP.
Ask the question as to why your friend was recommended and don't leave until you get an answer.

If you have a long history behind this weight gain then I would assume (perhaps wrongly) that you have been to the doctors about this before?
If not, then it is not a shock that you doctor made this decision. Then I would need to ask why you haven't seen them before this.

If she/he knows about your back ground then see another doctor in your practice, but please attempt it in the right way, otherwise the GP may think you are going over their head and get arsey...

WanderingTrolley · 12/06/2008 13:12

Blimey. Your GP needs slapping. You've approached him with a long term health related issue and he's done fk all.

Can you switch GP? Ask for a second opinion?

Have you had tests for any underlying conditions that may prevent your losing weight? The diets/plans you mention would work for most people and that they don't work for you is worthy of investigation imo.

Push for the gastric band. At your age and weight you need it asap. And in answer to your question:YANBU - I'd be pissed off too.

Good luck.

Carmenere · 12/06/2008 13:13

How come, if you don't eat much, you think that a gastric band will help you? A gastric band, as I understand restricts the amount of food that you can eat, and as you have already tried that and it has not worked, why do you think that surgery will work? It is only a way of inflicting control on the amount you eat. If diet and exercise don't work there must be something else wrong.

fizzbuzz · 12/06/2008 13:13

But....and I know nothing about this.

I thught recent changes from the government, meant that anyone who was overweight was supposed to be granted one of these on the NHS. I am almost sure of it.

I think you have to be morbidly obese, or a BMI of 40 ( I think.....otherwise why would that number stick in my head?

here

expatinscotland · 12/06/2008 13:14

I have to agree with Carmenere. I'd be asking for a referral to an endocrinologist to find out why I was still obese despite not eating much and exercising so much.

My pal got a band. Because her obesity is caused by not being able to control her portion sizes.

Carmenere · 12/06/2008 13:14

And I mean that you should be getting help from your gp to address whatever it is that is making you so big.

Alambil · 12/06/2008 13:15

Have you had thyroid checks and hormone checks for PCOS (polycystic ovaries - makes weightloss really hard for some people) ?

madamez · 12/06/2008 13:22

Another vote here for trying options other than a gastric band - because if your weight is not due to your eating then having a gastric band is having major, dangerous, painful surgery that is not atually appropriate to your problem.
Also, have you had any contact with fat acceptance/fat liberation/feminist groups? I will see if I can find any to recommend to you becauase basically there is an awful lot of bullshit talked in the mundane world about fatness and some of these groups have some interesting factual information and suppressed studies on the genetic aspects etc - as well as loads of support and useful putdowns for idiots.

WanderingTrolley · 12/06/2008 13:22

I see your point Carmenere, but I think Joash has tried nearly everything else and a gastric band is a near last resort.

Also, I bet many people don't believe she eats the way she says she does, and a gastric band would 'prove' she is eating small portions, as well as ensuring her portion sizes are very small. It seems to me that she needs a very low calorie diet to lose weight and a gastric band would make that mandatory, removing all possibilities of having the odd slice of cake or glass of wine.

But I do hope she has had relevant tests to investigate - though her current GP doesn't sound up to much.

expatinscotland · 12/06/2008 13:24

Major surgery to 'prove' you don't eat much is like removing a fly from someone's forehead with a sledgehammer, WT.

It doesn't matter what her GP believes, if she comes in and says she is not eating much and exercising the way she does and is still that big, there is SOMETHING wrong that a band won't fix.

Cushings Syndrome can also cause such a problem.

Again, an endocrinologist should rule any of this out.

bigcar · 12/06/2008 13:24

It's a bit naughty of your doctor to say he will refer and then not to actually do it, you could make a complaint to the practice manager but I don't know if that would get you the referral. Do you think it would be worth putting it in writing to your gp, basically putting how you feel as in you previous post? That way he would have all the information in front of him that you have already persevered with the diets and exercise and that they really are not working. After all you are not asking the gp to make a decision about whether you get the band fitted, just to refer to a specialist who is just that, a specialist. May be if that gets you nowhere, consider changing your gp - to the one your friend goes to.

minouminou · 12/06/2008 13:26

Joash, is your friend's GP in a different primary care trust? I ask this as youts may just not have the funding, although your GP should've just said there and then that he didn't want to pursue the surgery route.

joash · 12/06/2008 13:27

ewisfan - I have tried the Low GI diet i I have really have tried everydiet going, even stupid fad diets.

Bethoo - no underlying medical problem - been tested for anything and everything over the years.

Hedgewitch - If I had the money, I would go private. As it is I can't even afford to buy a weightloss magazine, so can't afford to go private.

lewisfan (and those who asked the same) I agree totally about not seeing how a gastric band can help with food intake, but this really is the final straw, I have no other options left to try!!!

Poorbuthappy - I have been seeing the GP for well over 20 years trying to get weight off.

fizzbuzz - my BIM is just under 65!!!!

madamez - i wrote the book (well a very lengthy dissertation) on fatliberation, and taiught it as part of lecturing in Women's Studies in my previous incarnation as a FE and HE lecturer.

OP posts:
joash · 12/06/2008 13:29

Thats it exactly - it's the actions of the GP that I am bloody angry about. And no - my friend is in the same PCT. She is 27, BMI of 47 and major heart problems - so will be turned down anyway and yet I get an idiot who blatently lies about getting me a referral even though he has all my history in front of him and has said he has read it all.

OP posts:
AllwaysDoingSomething · 12/06/2008 13:30

Joash, from the information in your posts I can?t see how a gastric band would help, (though I have no medical background to come to this conclusion) other than you?ve already limited portion size, calorie and fat intake with no positive effect.

I can however see you have tried many many avenues and that gastric surgery is the last stone you haven?t turned. I agree with those who have posted to say that you should now be referred to an endocrinologist. YANBU in being disappointed in your GP who said he would fight your corner and then changed his mind and didn?t consult you after doing so. You asked him for medical assistance and I see that he has failed you in this. Please contact your GP again and push to be referred to a surgeon and or endocrinologist. I wish you luck.