AIBU to think "Wellness gurus" are mostly spouting bollocks?

[WellnessWally]

I was referred to Nuffield Health for their joint pain programme and had my "Health MOT" with the lady I had assumed was a physio (she runs the twice-weekly exercise class). Retrospectively, I think she was more a salesperson, as I had to hear all about their ongoing fees, children's membership etc. but that's perhaps another issue.

During the health MOT, I'd had to disclose other medical conditions - for me, mainly migraines. She asked me how much liquid I drank a day, and I said about 5 cups of tea. She acted as though I said I regularly shot heroin into my eyeballs. She told me that tea was no good and caffeine was dehydrating, and I wasn't getting ANY water at all. I know a little bit about this, so I said that actually yes, if you have pure caffeine it's dehydrating, but the amount of water in tea more than makes up for that. (Many studies have shown this.) She was insistent that I needed water or would become very ill. I said that I'd managed to survive so far - and it had probably been about two weeks since I had an actual glass of water.

Then she really pissed me off by telling me that's why I get migraines. I said to her that they were hormonal, I can pin the day of the month I'm going to get them and they are (hard-won) well-managed with medication. My daughter and my dad also get them, so there's a strong genetic link and it has nothing to do with caffeine. She disagreed.

I'm just so sick of people with no GCSEs in science spouting quasi-medical bollocks in what was basically a medical setting (I was referred by my GP). I'm not looking forward to seeing this woman twice a week for the next twelve weeks - though open to her being a better exercise leader - perhaps that's her strength.

But Wellness people - please, please stop spouting bollocks about clean eating and protein and caffeine and ultra-processed foods, unless you have the science to back it up (and I don't mean "watched a video on TikTok").

Rant over.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater

Calling all wellness bollocks is itself ill informed and bollocks

There is so so much scientific evidence relating to the issues caused by: UPFs, non clean eating (but this is very non specific - does that mean not having your veg), drinking too much caffeine etc etc. from cancer heart disease to migraines

if you really want to get rid of the migraines there is a lot you could do (even with the genetic predisposition- the environment usually pulls the trigger when it comes to genes)

equally she wasn’t reading the signals where you were concerned

Science is science; tradition is tradition. Chemists, botanists and ethnobotanists often work collaboratively on bioprospecting.

Toxic substances can be therapeutic that’s exactly right. But it wasn’t specifically because yew is toxic that it was screened, and it’s the bark not the leaves or berries that are of therapeutic use in cancer.

Taxol was discovered as part of US National Cancer Institute Cooperative Plant Programme where 1000s of plant extracts were sent for anti-tumour activity testing. They looked at juniper and conifers including Taxus Brevifolia among others.

The scientists responsible for its discovery and also of Camptothecin commented: ”Undoubtedly, there are other highly active natural products from plant, marine, and fungal sources as yet unknown which, when discovered, will have therapeutic value. Cancer is not one, but several hundred diseases and will require many different types of agents.”

It’s lucky they took a more informed view than you of herbal sources for pharmaceuticals otherwise we would be significantly worse off.

As someone who has drank 2-3 litres of “pure water” a day since I was a young teen and suffers migraines, wonder what she would say to me. I agree. I want migraines analysed by an expert not a random exercise teacher. I am a qualified yoga teacher and this was on my training, remember we are not doctors or therapists in any capacity, we have no role in diagnosing or treating ailments. We teach yoga (yes mindfully and skillfully) we need to stay in our lane.

I find tea actually CURES headaches! 🤣

The scientific evidence is caffeine withdrawal can cause headache / migraines. Some people sensitive to caffeine may find caffeine a trigger, but it’s not definitive for all migraine sufferers.

OP I agree. Several years ago (well more like 30 +!) eggs and butter were the work of the devil….according to scientific advice at the time….now we no that a small amount of butter is actually less harmful than butter substitutes, similarly eggs do not raise ‘bad’ cholesterol (although they might if deep fried!).
Some decades ago coffee and tea were seen as dehydrating, that view has now being revised, but clearly this ‘lifestyle guru’ is well behind the times!

Exactly that. Stay in your lane.

She disclosed to me during the appointment that she had a (rare, non fatal) genetic syndrome. I wonder how she’d have felt if I had told her that she should do a juice cleanse to get rid of it.

I said glass of water. Plain water. Filter with a jug for improved taste. Nothing about a bit of sugar and flavouring added, which would not be helpful.

We are supposed to get a small percentage of our water intake from food - not the whole flipping lot.

I've never heard that theory. I'm a qualified massage therapist - training includes anatomy, so I'm surprised you've met massage therapists with no idea of basic organ functions. Toxins = waste products. By improving localised blood flow, stimulating lymph, supporting parasympathetic nervous system - all support the body's excretory functions.

Assuming this is a wind-up?

Well that really would be wellness guru territory.

This poor woman was just doing her job - baseline health questionnaire to ensure no contraindications for the activity and help her understand you needs, giving basic lifestyle advice (This service is likely funded by Public Health or NHS trust and will have reporting requirements) You accepted the referral from the GP, you disclosed migraines, but you're so affronted by this piece of (NHS guideline-based) advice?

No - I was annoyed that she even wanted to talk about my migraines, which are totally unrelated to joint pain. When, in an attempt to move the conversation along, I explained to her that my migraines were hormonal and under control AND that tea is not scientifically dehydrating that she dug her heels in and continued to insist she was right.

When you have had migraines for years, believe me, you have tried EVERYTHING, and when you find something that works, you stick to it. You are also very aware of your own triggers (for me, low carb and hormonal). Being told by someone who is not a migraine consultant, and whose opinion you have not asked for, that you're doing it wrong is frankly infuriating.

As I was not overweight and none of my other metrics triggered a referral, she had absolutely no place giving lifestyle advice unrelated to joint pain.

It was the "I know better than you" smarty pants attitude, coupled with a total absence of facts and the beatific smile of the woo-enlightened combo that made me want to scream.

We are assuming that as she has evoked such feelings of negativity and vitriol you won't be returning to claim your free treatments ......

You need to look up the meaning of (small) sample and scientific. Especially when you haven’t provided any stats or evidence on your position. This is a small sample from a related family group which disproves your suggestion that coffee is always a culprit in migraine. It’s not.

You need to read through the thread. Love and light and magic sparkles. ✨

yes - arm yourself :-)

I have read the thread...

How you can be with her after these comments shows up your present hypocrisy and two faced personality ... please do the decent thing for her if no-one else and take your joint problem to another practioner

And may your 2026 be a journey of developing kindness compassion honesty trustworthiness - for yourself and all beings 💫

I do understand comprehension and facts can be tricky. I'm not sure in what way I'm two-faced though. I haven't told her she's wonderful and invited her to my birthday party.

I have said more than once that I am hoping her skills lie with the exercise classes she leads, which haven't started yet. If she is able to lead a fabulous joint rehab program, I'm here for it. Using the NHS doesn't give you a wide range of practitioners - I'd be a fool to turn my back on what has been offered to me. Additionally, the NHS would be within their rights to refuse me for further treatment if I fail to engage with what I've been offered.

I do, however, not require what she is not being paid to do - peddle ill-informed nonsense and borderline harmful myths.

Thank you for your reply good luck with your treatment 💫

Cellular waste products are normal and not equivalent to toxins. Unless therapists are treating people who have ingested heavy metals or had a massive paracetamol overdose then they are not removing, or helping to remove toxins. Massage absolutely can help improve circulation (including lymphatic) and as such can help remove metabolic waste products.

Why does everything have to have a (bogus) health angle now? Massages are nice, pleasant, a bit of a luxury. Why spoil it with this drivel about toxins and ‘wellness’?

Same goes for food. And, for mental health, sitting quietly or being social. When I read a book or chat to friends I relax, think and sometimes laugh; I don’t need to consider these things ‘mindfulness’ or ‘therapy’.

So your GP referred you for joint health, and you were offered an additional free service by Nuffield Health, thinly disguised as health related but actually upselling? Sounds typical of the private sector. Did you ask for a private referral?

Yes that's what I said. I mean that the massage therapists you've been speaking to are using the words toxins & waste interchangeably.

@curious79
if you really want to get rid of the migraines there is a lot you could do (even with the genetic predisposition- the environment usually pulls the trigger when it comes to genes)

I call this BS !! hormonal migraine sufferer since early teens. There is really fuck all that can be done... and I have done everything from medication to clean eating. The only real thing that got rid of them was menopause.

So please stop telling people that migraine is somewhat self inflicted and can be cured miraculously.

Why don't you give this feedback to Nuffield then? And ask them why they included those questions in a baseline questionnaire - ie find out what their theory of change for joint pain is - and what lifestyle factors are considered associated with joint pain in their programme so you can assess whether it's the right fit for you?

People give unsolicited advice (like I have here) all the time. You don't have to take it, you can ignore it & you don't have to prove you're right & she's wrong in order to do so. It is an annoyance of course, but minor, and your distain and dismissal of this individual as well as misrepresentation of them as a "wellness guru" are unreasonable.

The water question was not on her questionnaire - she asked me about that off her own back when she asked me if I had any prescription meds and I mentioned my triptan for migraine.

There is nobody else at this gym who runs the joint pain programme, so it's put up and shut up (or, I guess complain and deny myself free access to a gym and joint rehab).