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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think "Wellness gurus" are mostly spouting bollocks?

218 replies

WellnessWally · 07/01/2026 08:46

I was referred to Nuffield Health for their joint pain programme and had my "Health MOT" with the lady I had assumed was a physio (she runs the twice-weekly exercise class). Retrospectively, I think she was more a salesperson, as I had to hear all about their ongoing fees, children's membership etc. but that's perhaps another issue.

During the health MOT, I'd had to disclose other medical conditions - for me, mainly migraines. She asked me how much liquid I drank a day, and I said about 5 cups of tea. She acted as though I said I regularly shot heroin into my eyeballs. She told me that tea was no good and caffeine was dehydrating, and I wasn't getting ANY water at all. I know a little bit about this, so I said that actually yes, if you have pure caffeine it's dehydrating, but the amount of water in tea more than makes up for that. (Many studies have shown this.) She was insistent that I needed water or would become very ill. I said that I'd managed to survive so far - and it had probably been about two weeks since I had an actual glass of water.

Then she really pissed me off by telling me that's why I get migraines. I said to her that they were hormonal, I can pin the day of the month I'm going to get them and they are (hard-won) well-managed with medication. My daughter and my dad also get them, so there's a strong genetic link and it has nothing to do with caffeine. She disagreed.

I'm just so sick of people with no GCSEs in science spouting quasi-medical bollocks in what was basically a medical setting (I was referred by my GP). I'm not looking forward to seeing this woman twice a week for the next twelve weeks - though open to her being a better exercise leader - perhaps that's her strength.

But Wellness people - please, please stop spouting bollocks about clean eating and protein and caffeine and ultra-processed foods, unless you have the science to back it up (and I don't mean "watched a video on TikTok").

Rant over.

OP posts:
YetAnotherWannabeWriter · 07/01/2026 10:39

AudHvamm · 07/01/2026 10:30

Isn't Science one of the required GCSEs along with Maths and English? It was at my school in the early 2000s anyway.

OP I voted YABU because a suggestion to drink more water is hardly wellness guru territory.

Required for what?

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:39

If you are a migraineuse who is well-read on the topic

oh the irony 😂😂

I'm just so sick of people with no GCSEs in science spouting quasi-medical bollocks

Egglio · 07/01/2026 10:41

BillieWiper · 07/01/2026 10:22

Caffeine eases my migraine symptoms. I've had them since I was a little kid.

Agree - mine too. And sugar. That is why I have my emergency migraine full fat coke in the fridge and no one is allowed to touch it. (White wine works too 🤐).

I don't think we need to debate what 'real' migraines are - they are so different for so many people. Most of the time I don't get a headache with mine, but I do get tunnel vision, visual aura and I lose the ability to speak. If I catch the prodrome (not always) then a sumitriptan, paracetamol and one of the above drinks will stop or lessen it. It's not in the NICE guidelines, but it is in the 'knowing my own body' guidelines. Also, I love drinking water, it makes no difference to my migraines whatsoever.

TallulahBetty · 07/01/2026 10:42

I switch off whenever I see 'detox'.

It's called a liver, and we all have one.

TaraLotus · 07/01/2026 10:42

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:39

If you are a migraineuse who is well-read on the topic

oh the irony 😂😂

I'm just so sick of people with no GCSEs in science spouting quasi-medical bollocks

Yup there's plenty of irony on this thread 💕

Stilish · 07/01/2026 10:43

TaraLotus · 07/01/2026 10:42

Yup there's plenty of irony on this thread 💕

Your stupid passive aggressive hearts and ‘love and light’ for one.

TaraLotus · 07/01/2026 10:43

Aluna · 07/01/2026 10:35

Caffeine is used to treat migraine because it’s a vasoconstrictor. Research finds that it can both trigger and relieve migraine.

Yes can both trigger and treat 💕

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:44

but the amount of water in tea more than makes up for that. (Many studies have shown this.)

I would love to see which studies have shown that a cup of tea (even black, no sugar) are more than enough hydratation when you exercise, or when you confuse hunger with thirst and over-eat, and all the other reasons why a glass of water really wouldn't kill you 😂

WellnessWally · 07/01/2026 10:44

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:39

If you are a migraineuse who is well-read on the topic

oh the irony 😂😂

I'm just so sick of people with no GCSEs in science spouting quasi-medical bollocks

I was trying not to mention my degree in Biochemistry, because I didn’t want to sound like a snob.

When I say “well read” I mean (freely available) scientific studies, not a fluff piece in the Daily Mail, or an Insta story.

What would have been ideal (remember I was there for joint pain, not migraines) would be to weigh, measure, blood test, blood pressure (all of this done) and offer NO advice on lifestyle as I am not overweight, have a normal blood sugar and blood pressure and did not require her input into a well-managed, entirely separate medical issue.

OP posts:
TheeNotoriousPIG · 07/01/2026 10:45

...and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who hoards full-sugar Coke in case of migraines!

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 10:46

I know someone who works at a chiropractic clinic and the amount of bull spouted there is unbelievable. They were all anti vax, bang on about gut biomes, scobies, kombucha, flashing light therapy, 5G killing people, chemtrails, electronic circuits messing with your doo dahs. Bread is apparently the devil's work. It's something new and bizarre every week.

Behind the scenes they have a secret drawer full of Dairy Milk, get wasted on Saturday night and fly around the world like other people get on buses.

ContentedAlpaca · 07/01/2026 10:47

I get hormonal migraine. I'm absolutely bomb proof at other times of the month but at a certain time lack of sleep can trigger one, scents can trigger one and I do get a bit of a love/hate relationship with coffee for those days. I go off coffee but try to drink it as adding caffeine withdrawal on top is not fun.

BillieWiper · 07/01/2026 10:47

Egglio · 07/01/2026 10:41

Agree - mine too. And sugar. That is why I have my emergency migraine full fat coke in the fridge and no one is allowed to touch it. (White wine works too 🤐).

I don't think we need to debate what 'real' migraines are - they are so different for so many people. Most of the time I don't get a headache with mine, but I do get tunnel vision, visual aura and I lose the ability to speak. If I catch the prodrome (not always) then a sumitriptan, paracetamol and one of the above drinks will stop or lessen it. It's not in the NICE guidelines, but it is in the 'knowing my own body' guidelines. Also, I love drinking water, it makes no difference to my migraines whatsoever.

Yeah! Love that coca cola🤣 x

WellnessWally · 07/01/2026 10:47

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:44

but the amount of water in tea more than makes up for that. (Many studies have shown this.)

I would love to see which studies have shown that a cup of tea (even black, no sugar) are more than enough hydratation when you exercise, or when you confuse hunger with thirst and over-eat, and all the other reasons why a glass of water really wouldn't kill you 😂

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21450118/

Here you go. Love and light and magic sparkles.

Black tea is not significantly different from water in the maintenance of normal hydration in human subjects: results from a randomised controlled trial - PubMed

There is a belief that caffeinated drinks, such as tea, may adversely affect hydration. This was investigated in a randomised controlled trial. Healthy resting males (n 21) were recruited from the general population. Following 24 h of abstention from c...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21450118/

OP posts:
CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:48

Rituelec · 07/01/2026 08:59

I have to have electrolytes or celtic sea salt in my water. Just water only would make me feel gross.

Fair enough

but I do find it astonishing that we live in such a processed and spoilt world that simple water, the most basic life essential can be rejected with horror by so many people

I am honestly wondering when we will start having people demanding a flavoured filter to tolerate oxygen 😂

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:49

BillieWiper · 07/01/2026 10:22

Caffeine eases my migraine symptoms. I've had them since I was a little kid.

Mine too, full fat coke is a life saver

Sleepasaurus · 07/01/2026 10:49

Lots of people use caffeine for migraines. Whatever works.

I love a bit woo but I am cautious. I think it has it’s place but as with anything it’s when it’s taken as gospel that it becomes dangerous.

WellnessWally · 07/01/2026 10:50

And YES to Coke with lots of sugar when the prodrome hits! (See also: cheesy Wotsits.)

OP posts:
IwannaspendchristmasontheM5 · 07/01/2026 10:51

Garroty · 07/01/2026 08:55

YANBU. Any time I see anyone using the words 'detoxing', 'low toxin', 'clean eating', 'additives', 'chemicals' or 'hormone balancing' with regard to food I know they're a charlatan.

I just🙄and think they're talking a load of bollocks.

CraftyBalonz · 07/01/2026 10:54

WellnessWally · 07/01/2026 10:44

I was trying not to mention my degree in Biochemistry, because I didn’t want to sound like a snob.

When I say “well read” I mean (freely available) scientific studies, not a fluff piece in the Daily Mail, or an Insta story.

What would have been ideal (remember I was there for joint pain, not migraines) would be to weigh, measure, blood test, blood pressure (all of this done) and offer NO advice on lifestyle as I am not overweight, have a normal blood sugar and blood pressure and did not require her input into a well-managed, entirely separate medical issue.

having relevant qualification is not "being a snob", don't be ridiculous. It's just a factual description.

A practicing neurologist would also have more relevant points and experience in the discussion about migraines than a plumber - nothing to do with snobbiness. (I am neither!)

TonTonMacoute · 07/01/2026 10:55

The human body needs 2 litres of water a day, most of this comes from your food. Recent research has shown that it's good to 'eat' as much of your water intake as you can, through fruits and veg.
What you need to drink on top of that is quite small, and will vary depending on time of year and activity levels, and tea and coffee both count. If you fast you need to drink more fluids on fast days. You can tell whether or not you are properly hydrated by the colour and frequency of your urine. Drinking more water than you need isn't normally going to harm you, although there have been a few cases where people have taken it to extremes and done themselves some damage

YANBU OP, it's depressing that someone in a official advisory role in apparently unaware of this and was so insistent that you drink water almost immediately.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 07/01/2026 10:55

TaraLotus · 07/01/2026 09:15

Sorry but there are strong scientific links between caffeine and migraine. Why not Stop the caffeine, drink plain water for afew months and see what happens.... would also recommend daily magnesium and omega 3s to help reduce migraine - my wonderful wellbeing herbalist ( also qualified PHD scientist) recommended these and its been life changing.

The physio was just trying to help.

Maybe yoga meditation would help reduce your rantings and lack of patience and bad language?

Love and light ✨️

Edited

😂
So funny.
Brilliant satire.

I assume you were joking right???

IwannaspendchristmasontheM5 · 07/01/2026 10:55

Stilish · 07/01/2026 10:43

Your stupid passive aggressive hearts and ‘love and light’ for one.

Scroll past it, it's nothing that matters.

AudHvamm · 07/01/2026 10:57

YetAnotherWannabeWriter · 07/01/2026 10:39

Required for what?

As in you were required to take it. But I think that's evident from my post. So what is your question?

Fizbosshoes · 07/01/2026 11:01

Im interested in this, DS (now 16) started getting migraines a year or 2 ago, but weve yet to idrntify a trigger. he only drinks milk or water - and a carton of fruit juice at lunch time - but probably not enough liquid throughout the day. Hes never had tea, coffee or caffeinated drinks.

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