God I just need a rant about my husband but I can’t tell if I’m overreacting and being a bitch.
We have two young children, and one has extra needs which means I can’t work until he goes to school next year. When I found out I was pregnant with my first 3 years ago my husband (not married at the time) wanted me to get an abortion but I refused and said I would do this with him or without him. He decided to stay with me.
Fast forward two years we start talking about having another baby. I fall pregnant without us even trying but thought my husband would be happy as we were openly talking about trying soon. He wasn’t happy. Demanded I get rid but I said I was ready for another and would be the perfect age gap and I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. We had a traumatic birth and my husband never bonded with the baby and refused to acknowledged them for quite some time. He found them very annoying and anything they do now he still finds irritating. He even texted me last night saying he doesn’t understand how I can love our youngest… wtf😳
We had a falling out last night as our second child is having really bad tantrums and he says he can’t cope. He works 7-5 5 days a week and doesn’t have to deal with them like I do yet he can’t cope… he does the bare minimum. He pays all the bills, food shop rent etc and always throws it in my face. His job is pretty easy, he just drives from factory to factory every day but says he has no energy to deal with the children. He does 0 jobs around the house on weekends and would rather sit on his phone playing games than going out and doing things as a family.
I’m the one that solely gets up in the night with our youngest, and he doesn’t sleep so I spend most nights up every 30 mins. My husband puts our eldest to bed but all he has to do is lie in his bed as he falls asleep pretty easily. But he complains about EVERYTHING. I suffered really badly from sleep deprivation and postnatal depression after our youngest and my husband couldn’t have cared less haha.
He has very little patience when it comes to the kids as well and flips out about tiny little things.
I also get universal credit (£90 a month) and my child’s disability allowance and carers so comes to £600 a month yet I’m the one that buys all our boys clothes, shoes, nursery meals and he still expects me to pay for a food shop a month (£100) and fill the car up one week (£60) and I also have to pay for all my own direct debits I had before I stopped working (£400 a month) don’t really know how he expects me to pay for all this🙄 he makes nearly £3000 a month but spends most his money buying trading cards 🥲 am I being unreasonable expecting him to chip in more? I know it’s his money but we’re married and a family so surely his priorities should be slightly different. And am I being unreasonable expecting him to help more around the house and being more present in the family on weekends? I get he works full time but I’m also at home full time with the kids which is draining. I love them so much but it’s tiring. Yet he doesn’t seem to care and just says “you wanted them” or “I never wanted them” and always throws it back in my face 🥲